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Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

Manolo says, occasional readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 114.

Late that afternoon it was still raining as 15,000 people in Barbours and wellington boots gathered in the deer park to watch the concert. At the last minute, the rain stopped and bright sunshine streamed down. I went on stage and said, “Earlier today I prayed to Diana, “Could you do this one last thing and part the skies?” And she did. It was the most amazing thing she did today. Thank you, Diana — this one’s for you.’

The Word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Friday, August 24th, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 103.

Nobody knew I was in town so I enjoyed the freedom of not having to worry about paparazzi. Every day I’d drive across town from my rented apartment to visit my voice teacher and then go to the studio to record. One afternoon I had stopped at some lights when I saw a boy and a girl walking home from schoool wearing Knight Rider backpacks. I rolled down the window

‘Excuse me, have you seen KITT?’

‘Errrrrrr, no.’

‘My name is Michael Knight and I seem to have lost my car.’

They seemed rooted to the spot.

‘Well, guys, if you do see my car please say I’m looking for him. Here are some pictures to remember me by.’

As I drove away, I looked in the mirror and the kids were screaming and jumping in the air.

P.S. Previous readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff.

The Word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 98.

When the divorce papers arrived at my home, I invited Mom and Dad and eight friends to a party at La Cage aux Folles, the nightclub on La Cienega Boulevard where people went to get super-loaded while watching drag acts. The female impersonators had great fun getting the Knight Rider up on stage and singing Judy Garland songs to him. When I stepped off stage, the maître d’ said, ‘Mr. Hasselhoff, Mr. Liberace would like to buy you a drink.’

I looked over and saw Liberace lit up like a Christmas tree in the middle of a group of young blond men. He waved at me.

‘Ask him if he would like to join our divorce party.’

‘I’m such a big fan, David,’ he said. ‘Who’s getting divorced?’

‘I am.”

‘Well, I’m available — let’s party.’

Liberace was drinking gin and tonic and smoking Carlton cigarettes. He was sixty-seven years old and had had a lot of plastic surgery; he very gracious and very sociable.

‘I can see you are upset about the divorce,’ he said.

‘I’m a little sad.”

‘Oh God, darling, put it behind you — life goes on.’

The Word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 115.

A few months later I checked into a big hotel in Johannesburg to make another film. This establishment was having trouble with one particular guest. People had complained to the management that a naked man was disturbing their sleep by swinging from balcony to balcony late at night. The culprit turned out to be Oliver Reed, the British actor, who was getting drunk and then doing a death-defying Tarzan impersonation high above the street. I had loved Reed’s performance in Women in Love and wanted to meet him, but he was caught in the act by security staff and kicked out of the hotel.

The Word of the Hoff!

P.S. Previous daily readings from Don’t Hassle the Hoff.


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Tuesday, August 21st, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 117.

Patricia and I spent our first romantic night together at the Heia Safari Ranch outside Johannesburg in an African-decor bungalow. That first night in camp one of the guides mimicked the mating cry of a wildebeest. Next day, we drove around the safari park in a little hire car. When we saw two wildebeest, I couldn’t resist trying out the mating cry. Patricia roared with laughter but one of the animals looked up and headed straight for us.

‘Wow — this mating stuff really works!’ I said.

We wound the windows up and I frantically tried to start the diesel engine, but before I could get the car in gear the wildebeest had rammed his head into the bodywork again and again. We made it to the park’s entrance and while the gatekeeper was letting us out a passing ostrich ripped off the radio antenna.

The Word of the Hoff!

P.S. Previous daily readings from Don’t Hassle the Hoff.


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 140.

I had been home in Sherman Oaks for a few days when there was a knock on the door and a man introduced himself as the new neighbor who had just moved into the house next door.

‘I understand you’re famous in Germany,’ he said.

‘Well, yes — how did you know?’

‘There are Germans in my trees.’

‘We walked up the driveway and there were shouts from the trees on his side of the fence.

‘Hello, David!’

‘Hi David, this is Fritz!’

The neighbor was right; there were Germans in his trees. I invited them to come down on to my side of the fence to meet me. It was quite common for fans from Germany or Austria to trek all the way out to Sherman Oaks to pay me a visit and talk about my popularity in their country.

The Word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Friday, August 17th, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, pages 260-261

When I took stock of my personal relationships, I realized there was a lot of work to be done. I believe a man needs a wife just as much as children need a mother, so it was a very, very difficult time for me to cope with the new arrangements. The only thing that kept me going was the love of my children.

Hayley was quite funny about my dating. When a twenty-year-old girl tried to hit on me, she said, ‘Dad, that is appalling — that girl is twenty and she only likes you because you’re a celebrity.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

‘And she only likes you because you’re rich.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

So Hayley put an age limit on my dating partners: no one younger than thirty-five, but after a while I negotiated that down to twenty-eight.

The Word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Thursday, August 16th, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, pages 198-199.

Rod Steiger was a solitary figure; he would take his lines and go off on his own. Eventually, the director would get fed up with waiting for him to reappear. He’d say, ‘There’s only one person who can control him and it’s you.’

So I would find Steiger and say, ‘Are you ready, Mr Steiger?’

He would scream, ‘Who the f— are you to f—— come in here and f—— tell me what to f—— do!’

I’d say, ‘Are you finished, Mr Steiger? I’m going to give you my line and then we want one line from you.’

He didn’t give a hoot about the director, but he was fond of me and always complied. He was on a short fuse and found it hard to take the noise in Manila. ‘I can’t concentrate, it’s so f—— loud. Hasselhoff, you’re an f—— hero – stop the traffic!’ But although representations were made to the city authorities, the traffic would not stop, even for Rod Steiger. Nevertheless, he stole every scene he was in.

The last time I saw him I was on a pedestrian crossing in Malibu. He alsmost knocked me down in his car. I shouted at him to be more careful and he shouted back and drove off. He hadn’t even recognized me.

The Word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 214.

My character, Mungo Prentice, is the bearded pony-tailed captain of the slave ship Defiance, a man who has given up on the world until he meets Karen Allen’s Miss Farewell while transporting her to Africa to find her father, Captain Francis Farewell (James Fox). Joshua Sinclair had based Prentice on John Newton, composer of the hymn ‘Amazing Grace’ and the self-proclaimed ‘wretch’ of the lyrics. Newton was the captain of a slave ship who, on a homeward voyage on 10 May 1748, experienced a ‘great deliverance’ when his ship was saved from a violent storm as though by divine intervention. Newton became a clergyman, who wrote the Olney Hymns with William Cowper and campaigned against slavery.

The Word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Tuesday, August 14th, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 171.

The glittering room at the Savoy was packed with chattering people when the decibel level suddenly dropped and all eyes turned to the tall woman who had just entered. She spotted us and walked over. I remember thinking ‘God, she’s tall.’ She had high heels on and was almost as tall as me. She was strikingly beautiful, with the face of an angel. We shook hands.

‘You look good with your clothes on,’ she said to me.

‘And so do you,’ I replied.

Diana laughed, blushed, and then looked coy. It wasn’t my imagination–she was flirting with me. Pamela elbowed me. She and Diana were both wearing almost identical Escarda dresses, so perhaps that had something to do with it.

On television, Diana always seemed humble and shy, averting her eyes and keeping her head bowed; that was the image I had of her – ‘Shy Di’. I knew she was separated from Prince Charles but I didn’t know anything about her private life or her attitude towards men.

Diana said, ‘What were we talking about?’

‘I have no idea’

‘Good – because neither do I.’

The word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Monday, August 13th, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 210.

Someone handed me a koala bear and I was supposed to cuddle it for a few minutes and say how cute it was. I should have known better. The little monster sunk its claws into my arm and refused to let go.

Peter Allen, the Boy from Oz, was one of the acts and, while he was performing, people tried to prise the bear free but its claws were embedded under my skin. It took forty minutes to restore the power supply and longer than that during the commercial breaks to get rid of the bear. The whole thing was something of an ordeal and I was relieved when the show wrapped and it was party time.

The word of the Hoff!


Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Monday, August 6th, 2007

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 186.

My whole family were extremely proud when I was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Professionally, however, I felt as though I would be running down the beach in slow motion for the rest of my life. My music career hadn’t taken off in the USA as I had hoped. My fourth album, Is Everybody Happy?, had been released in Europe to big sales, but the American market was still out of reach. My movie career had stalled. i said to Jan McCormack, ‘The only way I’m going to get good reviews is if I play a bad guy.’ She found me a role as a murderer in Avalanche, a TV thriller filmed in Canada. I had internalized all of the bad reviews of Baywatch and used them in my character. It felt so good to let it out in a positive way.

The word of the Hoff!










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