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The Face of Villainy

Manolo says, the English archeological nabobs have made the facial reconstruction of the newly found bones of the Richard the 3, and not surprisingly he has the very shifty eyes….

Richard III

Richard III, shown without the hump.

Here is the close-up of the artist’s reconstruction.

Lord Farquaad

Definitely not the Lord Farquaad

Happy Thanksgiving

Ah, Thanksgiving, the day on which people all over the great United States of America come together to gorge themselves on turkey and pretend they prefer foodie Aunt Clara’s pomegranate confit with pink shallot relish to the can-shaped cranberry deliciousness that won the Cold War.

Considering the American importance of the date –not only is it Thanksgiving, it’s the 49th anniversary of JFK assassination– I should do a retrospective of Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis’ fondness for Roger Vivier’s pilgrim pumps.

Unfortunately, I’m both lazy and jetlagged and so here’s a snap of the La Veuve Kennedy four years later in full New York swing sporting a pair of Vivier’s iconic buckled beauties.

Oh, and also a ridiculous platter of pumps.

White satin for autumn? I mean honestly.

Steven Tyler Is Here to Remind You That It Is October

Manolo says, it is the Tevas with the painted toenails that make this ensemble especially ghastly.

Are you Having a Garbo Moment?

I know I am. Let’s all find our key light and lift our tweezers high (but responsibly) to celebrate the natal day of Sweden’s own Greta Lovisa Gustafsson, aka the glamorous Greta Garbo.

Tweezerman slanted tweezers, the Frye Lois Oxford, Waterproof French Anglobasque beret, made in France by Nielba, and luscious cashmere-lined leather gloves from Fratelli Orsini, on sale and available in 15 colors.

Of course, if only the real thing will do, several of Garbo’s signature berets are up for auction. Air of mystery sold separately.

The Hillary Clinton Pantsuit Rainbow

The Hillary Clinton Pantsuit Rainbow

Manolo says, it is the the kandy-kolored tangerine-flake streamline Secretary of State!

The Prince Who Would be Like the King

Prince Harry in Blue Suede Shoes

Prince Harry in the Blue Suede Shoes

Manolo says, fresh off his triumph in the Las Vegas touring company of Hair, Prince Harry then decides that it is time to boogie down, Jamaican-style, mon…

Prince Harry Dancing

It is his expression that makes this picture.

But, what are those shoes on his feets?

He was pictured wearing a pair of bright blue suede Russell and Bromley desert boots. The shoes, which are known as “Chuck”, retail for £115 and are officially due in stores in a fortnight.

Since arriving in Jamaica last week, the Prince has already appeared in public in a pair of tobacco coloured desert-style boots. They also comes in darker brown as well as blue suede.

Special pre-order boots, available only to those who have the connections? Truly it is good to be the Prince!

The Kardashian Kaboose

The Kardashian Kaboose

Manolo says, on the one of the hands, it is both startling and mesmerizing, like the second moon, brighter than the first, suddenly looming into view in the clear night sky.

On the other of the hands, it is her greatest, if not only, talent.

On the third of the hands, this provides the much needed corrective to the unattainable standard set by the booties of the Olympic beach volleyball.

On the fourth of the hands, this will undoubtedly send Mrs. Ice-T back to the plastic surgeon.

On the fifth of the hands, dayyyyyuuuumn, girl. Just, dayyyyyyuuumn.

(more…)

Olympic Gold Medalist Ryan Lochte Loves the Shoes!

Ryan Lochte Winged Shoes

Manolo says, 130 pairs of the shoes!

Mr. Lochte’s dream is to eventually become a clothing designer. “I want to be different, and fashion gives me that outlet to do that,” he said, lounging on a couch after a practice in loose basketball shorts, a T-shirt that read “Google Me” and black Dolce & Gabbana slippers. For public events, he steps it up: Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren have dressed him, and he was signed by Ford Models.

[...]

“Ho, I think I have about, a total of 130 pairs of shoes,” Mr. Lochte said, warming to the subject. “So you can say I like shoes.” (“Ho” is another Lochte-ism, kind of like the inverse of Homer Simpson’s “D’oh!”) For the Olympic trials this month, he plans to sport high tops with star-spangled wings, like an all-American Hermes. “Don’t duplicate!!” he wrote, posting a picture of them on Twitter.

While the Manolo admires the exuberant enthusiasm for the shoes…

Ryan Lochte Green Shoes

it is clear that these are shoes for those who desire to have what the “swag”.

We Are Not Amused, Olympic Edition

Queen Elizabeth is not amused.

Madonna: Keepin It Classy

Manolo says, behold, the two sides of Madonna, devilish and angelic

First…

Resale value plummets the instant you drive it off the lot.


Showing us her wares, like the fallen Magdalene.

Second…

Help! Madonna has fallen and she can't get up!

Or, like the badger going back into its burrow

Writhing in divine ecstasy, like the holy mystic.

Madonna’s New Truth or Dare Shoes are Boring & Derivative

Manolo says, the Manolo does not wish to be so cruel as to kick someone when they are down, but zzzzz

Madonnas Truth or Dare Shoes

Shoe designing is not easy, and yet other celebrities, such as the Jessica Simpson and the Carlos Santana(!) have been able (with professional help) to produce the decent looking shoes for the mass market.

Madonna has played it safe, predictable, with her blacks and grays and shapes we have seen before. She needs to introduce either the trendier colors, the unusual finishes, or the more daring shapes, probably all three. Since she she has none of these, there is nothing that especially distinguishes this collection except her celebrity.

It is yet more evidence that the Madonna needs to take the little break here. She needs to allow herself to recede from our consciousness for the next two to three years, and then come back in the more intimate, more surprising form. Perhaps “Madonna Unplugged”, playing in the smaller venues with the less bombastic material. Although, the Manolo is not sure that her talent is the sort that can stand apart from the spectacle.

Ralph Fiennes Wants You to Know: Things Are Good Down at the Job Center

Ralph Fiennes: Things Are Good Down at the Homeless Shelter

Manolo has never had the occasion to use the word “skeevy” before, but: skeevy.

Manolo says, “In a program, you know, acknowledging my Higher Power, trying to make amends. Spend a lot of time recycling. Hitting spots behind the Safeway plaza and in the park. Five cents a can adds up real fast, but you gotta be there before the crusties, know what I mean. Hey, you gotta cigarette I can bum, while I fill out this application?”

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