Archive for the 'Celebrity' Category


Ralph Fiennes Wants You to Know: Things Are Good Down at the Job Center

Monday, July 23rd, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger
Ralph Fiennes: Things Are Good Down at the Homeless Shelter

Manolo has never had the occasion to use the word “skeevy” before, but: skeevy.

Manolo says, “In a program, you know, acknowledging my Higher Power, trying to make amends. Spend a lot of time recycling. Hitting spots behind the Safeway plaza and in the park. Five cents a can adds up real fast, but you gotta be there before the crusties, know what I mean. Hey, you gotta cigarette I can bum, while I fill out this application?”


Fractured Fairy Tales

Thursday, July 19th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger
Prince Not-So-Charming and the Frog

And you say that I am supposed to kiss it?

Manolo says, the family likeness is remarkable.


The Circus Comes to Town

Wednesday, July 18th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Worst. Clowns. Ever..

Manolo says, Various Kardashians, shown L to R: Future Enquirer Fodder Disick, Kampervan Jenner, Katlady Jenner, Kanyesbeard Kardashian, and Karkrash Kardashian.


Whose Shoes Wednesday… The Answer!

Friday, July 13th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Diane Keaton Shoes

Manolo answers, it is the Diane Keaton!

Sadly, none of the Manolo’s internet friends was able to correctly identify this week’s lovely and stylish personage of note.


The Fun Never Stops at the Playboy Mansion

Thursday, July 12th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, the twitter stylings of the Ancient Mariner of Lust, Hugh Hefner

Ovid

Ebrius, ecce, senex pando Silenus asello
Vix sedet, et pressas continet ante iubas.
Dum sequitur Bacchas, Bacchae fugiuntque petuntque
Quadrupedem ferula dum malus urget eques,
In caput aurito cecidit delapsus asello:
Clamarunt satyri ‘surge age, surge, pater.’


Marc Jacobs, Spring 2011: Who Wore it Better?

Monday, July 9th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger
Anna Wintour in Marc Jacobs at Wimbeldon Finals

It is the tossup, really

Manolo asks, who wore it better? Malevolent crone, or freakish-scary doll girl?

P.S. From the Red Carpet Fashion Awards


Sunday Morning Snooki

Sunday, July 8th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger
Snooki: Part Troll Doll, Part Human, All Guida.

Genetic experimentation on troll dolls should be banned.

Manolo says, ayyyy! She is like the pregnant, little hobbit of bad taste emerging from her burrow!


In Which the Manolo is Blocked by the Roseanne Barr

Saturday, July 7th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, the exchange from the Twitter of the Manolo.

Rosanne Tweet of Doom

You have been blocked from following this account at the request of the user.

Ayyyyy!


Remember When Backgammon was Hip?

Friday, July 6th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger
Hugh Hefner's Corpse Clings to Body of Nurse

The Undead by Viagra (some side effects)

Manolo says, neither does she, Gramps.

P.S. Senex Amator.


Einstein in Mandals!

Monday, July 2nd, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Einstein in mandals? You would never see Isaac Newton in mandals

Manolo says, so much for the formerly “Smartest Man in the World.”

P.S. The tip of the hat to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Lisa, for finding this.


On the Occasion of Katie Holmes Filing for Divorce: The Death Grip of Super Masculinity

Friday, June 29th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, the world of those who do not have eyes to see was rocked today when actress Katie Holmes filed for divorce from her husband of six years, the Tom Cruise.

Of the course, for those of us who are attentive to the matters of body language, it was perhaps easy to see that all was not well from the beginning, for indeed, as the “romance” played out in public through 2005 and 2006, the Manolo noticed something strange, something he referred to as the…

Death Grip of Super Masculinity!

As the Manolo said at the time, it was as if he were “trying to choke the Xenu right out of her”.
.

The Patented Kung Fu Grip of Manly Love

Elevator Shoes and a Strong Pimp Hand

Yes, Tom Cruise’s pimp hand was strong…

I din't mean to hurt you, Baby. You know I love you. It's this temper. Why you gotta be like this. Come on, now, Baby.

Although, occasionally, the other one was not…

(more…)


Madonna Enters the Mae West Late Career Phase

Thursday, June 28th, 2012
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

This is what greets you when you enter the Second Circle of Hell

Manolo says, when one attempts to trade upon one’s reputation for sex appeal well after the sell by date.

By which the Manolo means, increasingly comic and grotesque displays of inappropriateness.

To be clear, it is not the aging itself that is to be deplored, as aging is the natural consequence of life, but rather the unseemly chasing after of lost youth that causes us to avert our eyes from the spectacle.

Mae West, the Madonna of her day, well past her day.Madonna, circa 2012

One need not give up love, or sexuality, simply because one ages, rather one must recognize that such things are to be expressed in the different manner; we should aim for the mature attractions of middle age and late life: dignity, honor, wit, intellect, and companions suitable to our condition.












Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
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Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Mr. Manolo Blahnik. This website is not affiliated in any way with Mr. Manolo Blahnik, any products bearing the federally registered trademarks MANOlO®, BlAHNIK® or MANOlO BlAHNIK®, or any licensee of said federally registered trademarks. The views expressed on this website are solely those of the author.






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