Manolo says,

Merry Christmas!

The Manolo wishes you the most super fantastic of holidays, warm and happy, with friends and family, good food and wonderful gifts!

It is all because of the deleterious effects of the food blogs that early this morning you had to make the special trip to that hipster butcher shop, you know the one with the nice young men who have the arms full of tattoos and wear the ironic handlebar mustachios. Unfortunately, because of the food blogs, you had no choice. You had to pick up the organic, pastured, free-range, eighteen-pound heirloom turkey, which had been ordered directly from the farmer for your big Thanksgiving meal.

When you got to the check out counter, you were afraid to look while the Betty Boop-a-like girl in the polka-dot kerchief rang you up, so you just handed over your debit card and pretended to examine the copy of Adbusters. It was one hundred and nineteen dollars and change. More money than you had paid for the past six holiday turkeys combined, all of them honest Butterball toms who had given their lives in noble service to gluttony and national pride.

You had not wanted to spend so much money on the bird, but two years ago it was your brother’s turn to host the family festival, and his wife (who is the adjunct professor of sociology down at the junior college) served the organic free-range turkey, which everyone, including your husband Gary, praised as “the best bird ever.”

What made this all so galling is that your sister-in-law has her own silly food blog, (silly, despite the fact that it was nominated for the James Beard Award for Excellence in Pornographic Food Photography, which it thankfully did not win) which means that on Friday morning the entire interwebs were treated to the large picture of Gary, fork in mouth, being transported in orgasmic ecstasy to the ethereal plane of turkey delight. Tweeted and retweeted by the followers of your sister-in-laws blog, this photo of Gary had become, by the end of the weekend, its own meme, prominently featured above the fold on the Buzzfeed with the variety of captions, the majority of which were variations on the theme “Ermahgerd Terky!”

And now you must go read the rest of the piece.

Manolo says, on this day eight years ago, October 16th, 2004, the Manolo began his earthly mission of bringing the beauty and magic of the shoes to the internets.

And now, nearly the decade later, the world has changed, and beautiful shoes are everywhere, all over of the internets, the shops, the runways, and the streets. Shoes have been finally and universally recognized as the greatest and bestest fashion accessory of all time.

To put it more plainly: We are living in the Golden Ages of Shoes.

What joy it gives the Manolo to know that he has done his small, tiny part in helping bring to about this apotheosis.

Most of all, however, on this happy day, the anniversary of the shoeblogging, what joy it gives the Manolo to know that he has made so many dear internet friends over the years, friends who have provided him with their attention and affection and support.

The Manolo, who could never fully express the deep gratitude he feels, can only say, dear readers, you are indeed most super fantastic!

the Pope owns every soul on earth according 2Papist Law- he will rule frm Jerusalem after he gets his desire-A jew& muslim free Jerusalem

— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) July 7, 2012

Papist Law?Facepalm.RT @therealroseanne: Pope owns every soul on earth according 2Papist Law

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) July 7, 2012

.@therealroseanneHistory of the word “Papist” =bit.ly/L8dTa9

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) July 7, 2012

You have been blocked from following this account at the request of the user.

Ayyyyy!

Infantile

Execrable

Once, men and women produced serious art filled with soul and meaning, joyfulness, fine feelings, deep emotions.

Now, the great genius of our age, hailed by fanboys and know-nothings, is the execrable R. Crumb, whose repulsive drawings offend the senses. To look upon them is to feel your heart sink, to listen to the critics offer them praise is to feel your gorge rise.

But what of the “serious” artists of our debased age?

Let us also stipulate that we hold no affection or respect for those who impoverish us with their lackwit offerings, who reduce the ineffable to the trivial, who hide their inferior skills and empty heads behind the facade of jargon.

Such is the state of our world: We have become trivial peoples who mistake our trivialities for profundities, and pat ourselves on the back for it.

So, what must be done?

Don Colacho

If pressed to chart the course, he replies with the aphorisms of Don Colacho: perhaps we should consider ourselves as he did, “merely travelers who suffer shipwreck with dignity”.

But why shoes, Manolo?

Sublime

Well made shoes represent honest labor done for useful purposes. Beautiful shoes show us that even the mundane can be elevated to the sublime. Shoes that are both transmute craftsmanship into art.

Allow the Manolo to stipulate that if you are not following the Manolo on the Twitter, you are missing some of his better witticisms.

Doctor Oz = Quack with a facelift and Oprah’s secret cellphone number.

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 30, 2012

Instagram is down?Obviously, Facebook paid $1 billion dollars to implement evil plan to prevent people from posting photos of cupcakes

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 30, 2012

And bad taste. “@thr: ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Mansion Ravaged by Fire bit.ly/QEl5uh”

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 30, 2012

Today is the fifth anniversary of the iPhone?Thus we can finally name the exact day the art of conversation died.#iPhone

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 30, 2012

Or not, if you are French.RT @sistertoldjah: If u have elderly relatives, check on them the next few days as heat records will be broken

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 29, 2012

Newsflash!Untalented attention ho, still ho’in for attention.@usweekly: #Ke$ha got tattooed

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 28, 2012

Last week’s celebrity sighting:Mel Gibson in Ralphs.This week’s celebrity sighting:Jon Lovitz.The Manolo has come down in the world

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 26, 2012

“Proactive” is to “active” as”People who use idiotic business jargon” is to “Chesterton”.

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 30, 2012

It does not matter if you are the fashion blogger, or the non-blogger, the Manolo would love to see what his internet friends have to say about such topics as shoes, runway trends, shoes, fashion history, shoes, celebrity misadventure, shoes, indeed almost any topic that is not overtly political, or overly controversial. All the Manolo asks is that the contribution be thoughtful and moderately entertaining to his readers.

If you would be interested in doing this please to send the Manolo the email telling him what you would like to blog about.

P.S. If you are not following the Manolo on the twitter, here is some of what you are missing:

Hey! I’m Still Alive! by Nicole RichieRT @shefinds: Nicole Richie Is Launching Her First Fragrance This Fall! bit.ly/MoD1sC

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 22, 2012

Lindsay Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor?This is like showing the Manolo the postcard of the car crash and saying it is the Mona Lisa.

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 22, 2012

Larry Ellison just bought th tropical island? Is the volcano already hollowed out, or wll he have to install the super villain lair himself?

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 22, 2012

Not if you have the Bubonic Plague.RT @AnnabelTollman: Glamour is my drug of choice.

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 21, 2012

Unless you are not. RT:@ChrisBrogan You are kinder, smarter, funnier, stronger, braver, and more beautiful than you know. Never forget that.

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 21, 2012

If the term “German Experimental Rock” does not cause your heart drop, and your soul to fill with dread, you are not fully human.

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 21, 2012

Query: What do Garfield the Cat, John Hodgman, and the movies of Wes Anderson have in common?Answer: None of them make the Manolo laugh.

— ManoloShoeblogger (@ShoeBlogger) June 19, 2012

There is much more, but only if you follow the Manolo on Twitter.

The Manolo would take is as the great favor if you were to “like” his humble shoe blog on the Facebook.

Likewise, the Manolo shares some of his more ephemeral thoughts through out the day at his Twitter feed, to which you may wish to subscribe.

Additionally, the Manolo sometimes fiddles around with the Tumblr thingy and the Pinterest whatzit, pinning the pictures and tumbling the quotations that capture his fancy.

As you may have noticed, the Manolo has returned to posting more frequently, likewise, the Manolo is working to revive his moribund Super Fantastic Newsletter, which he hopes will eventually send out the weekly news about the Manolo, together with coupons, bargains, announcements, and contests. Naturally, the Manolo would be enormously pleased if you would consider subscribing to these email updates.