Dear Manolo,

What are the hot shoe trends for 2013?

Kelly

Manolo says, from what the Manolo has seen in the various spring shoe collections of the major designers, the hottest trends will be the outrageously tall 6 plus inch heels in the super hot colors, like puce and verdigris, made from the skins of exotic endangered animals such as the lesser tree sloth and the greater pangolin, shoes which will sell in the $4700 and up range.

The Manolo’s sources among the with-it crowd also say that mix and match will be all the rage, as super skinny ladies of mode will seek to wear different shoes on the different feets, perhaps the Jimmy Choo stiletto snakeskin sandal on the left foot, and the Louboutin embroidered satin flat on the right, or vice versa. Hobbling will briefly replace strutting on the catwalks of Paris and Bucharest, and pedestrian accidents will skyrocket in parts of lower Manhattan.

In late March, the widespread front of Swarovski crystal spikes will move into the tri-state area, causing panic buying among matronly women on the Upper East Side, who will pile into the Saks 10022 Shoe department to load up on the 9 inch Giuseppe Zanotti wedge heels in the metallic color known as “”samovar””.

By early April, crystal spikes on mis-matched shoes will be out, out, OUT! Ugh, how can you wear that, it is so last minute?

Manolo says, chasing fashion trends is out. Developing your own personal style that is timelessly you is the new black!

Here is the Giorgio Armani leather and patent, two-tone wingtip brogue, just because.

Ayyyyyyy! Torch Burn!

P.S. Too Much Bronzer!

Manolo says, Mammy, how I love ya, how I love ya, dear old Mammy.