Manolo’s Shoe Blog

Manolo says, this photo is from what is perhaps the most depressing/hilarious/alarming/hilarious/distressing/depressing website the Manolo has ever seen, People of Walmart.

The Manolo has always tried to avoid comedy which mocks the downtrodden and impoverished (see the Manolo’s review of Borat). Intelligent people who tell such jokes, even if the jokes are funny, give evidence of their meanness of spirit. For the Manolo, the best humor is that which mocks the high and the mighty, exposing their foibles to the humanizing power of laughter.

But what the Manolo sees here, at the People of Walmart is so distressing that he cannot look away. It is the cautionary tale writ large, the portent of societal destruction, and even as he laughs, he still finds it one of the most depressing websites he has ever visited.

And now, allow the Manolo to here further quote Yeats.

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Browse People of Walmart at your own peril.

Manolo says, not to be cruel, but “Gothic Homunculi” is not the best look for state photos.

P.S. The Manolo has shamelessly stolen the perfect title of this post from his internet friend Fausta.

Manolo says, behold! Perhaps the single worst ass-o-centric fashion idea since Victoria’s Secret printed the work “Pink” on the back of their shorty-shorts.

They are called Winker Jeans.

There’s something just a bit disturbing about this: Jeans that wink as you walk.

They’re Winker Jeans, nicknamed Winkers. The imprinted eyes on the butt wink at anybody following the wearer. And how thrilling, they’re made in America, the brainchild of William Jones, a retired father of five and grandfather of seven who lives in Everett, WA.

You can smell the excitement at the company headquarters, whose website declares, “Patent pending,” and hot diggity, “Licensing Is Available!

Jones says that the idea came to him when, naturally, he was checking out a woman as she walked past him. Nice. Grampa’s a dirty old man.

His range isn’t limited to just eyes, though. The imprints include ducks that seem to quack, an owl that blinks, a Lion King jungle scene, and a scene slates that you snap on the set when the direct yells, “Action!”

Cost for a pair of jeans: $569 each.

$569!! Is that in American dollars? Ayyyyy!

Thankfully, these are too expensive to be purchased by those who would likely wear them, although, if the price comes down substantially, look for them in the Wal-Mart nearest you.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend CBHutton for alerting the Manolo to this abomination.

Manolo says, if like the Manolo you are the person who occasionally feels wistful for the early 1980s, this one-hit wonder from Toto Coelo will cure you riki-tik.

Manolo says, here is the oldie, but the timely goody from the archives of the Manolo.

Manolo says, one of the Manolo’s many internet friends has asked the Manolo to comment upon the clothing of the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the koo-koo-nutty president of Iran.

Normally, the Manolo he does not care to think too much about the sartorial choices of such ridiculous and dangerous peoples, preferring in the stead to devote his precious thinking time to weightier matters, such as whether or not the loathsome Jeffrey will be one of the Project Runway final three, or if the Hasselhoff will ever again find the true love with the career chick of his dreams.

But, the Manolo he is nothing if not obliging to his internet friends, and so he will make the brief remarks.

Briefly and remarkably, the President of the Iran wears the same khaki windbreaker, wrinkled trousers, cheap oxford shirts, scruffy beard and wild eyes favored by the aging high school chemistry teachers everywhere.

Yes, in his youth he was the firebrand who would shake the very foundations of the society, but today he is content to expound upon his paranoid conspiracy theories while exercising his petty autocratic powers over the dull kids who sit in the back of the class.

In the word, he has tenure.

“Umm, Mr. Ahmadinejad, it’s time for recess.”

“Shut up and sit down, Chad, we’re not done discussing how the international Zionist cabal is controlling the lunch room.”

The Manolo has nothing more to say about the clothes of the Ahmadinejad, other than that they are bad, terribly bad, even when judged against the already lamentably low standards set by the current crop of tyrants, despots, and dictators-to-be.

Please go read the whole thing, even though, lamentably most of the photos the Manolo selected to go with this are no long valid.

Manolo says, ayyyy! It is the Goddess Diana as interpreted by Mammy Yokum!

Manolo says, some ideas are so ridiculous that they should not merit our discussion.

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“Mantyhose”or pantyhose for men have become a popular sheer garment from truck drivers to cowboys.

A self confessed male hosiery-wearer, Harisnya is so passionate about the issue he set up e-MANcipate, a website which he says aims to “accelerate the acceptance of male pantyhose as a regular clothing item”.

[...]

“Men have great legs and hosiery is a great way to show them. It’s quite practical in some ways. It prevents chafing, for example, when horse riding or cycling, but it’s also a good alternative to bulky underwear if you need some warmth,”News.com.au quoted Harisnya, as saying.

“Going to work on a cold autumn day in regular trousers with 20 denier hose underneath helps to avoid getting cold. Plus you won’t ever have to worry about loosing or matching your socks. It’s fun, but no joke,”he added.

The men’s pantyhose come with a “male comfort panel”that better fits a man’s shape, and sometimes offers a convenient fly opening.

Harisyna’s love of pantyhose is backed up by testimonials from truck drivers who swear by nylon hosiery for its circulation benefits and cowboys who don them under their Levi’s for warmth.

He believes that men’s pantyhose is an easy way to dress differently.

Naturally the Manolo never approves of dressing differently solely to be different. That way madness and the profusion of bad tattoos lie.

Also, at the moment when the majority of women have ceased to wear the pantyhose, why should men put them on?

Of the course, there has been at least one famous wearer of the mantyhose…

P.S. Hat tip to the Manolo’s internet friend Orrin Judd, who recently and kindly reviewed the Manolo’s short work, the Consolation of the Shoes.

Manolo says, here are the few reminders that the past was not always so golden:

First, Rayon, the wonder fabric, as seen through the eyes of Seventeen Magazine.

Secondly, the ponchos have, as the Manolo has said in the past, always been the fashion scourge.

Manolo says, you have to admire the model’s ability to keep the straight face.