Manolo says, this…
The reason the kilt was invented
Does not equal, this…
The LPGA…in Hell
Yes, yes, the Manolo gets the idea. You are the unconventional, free-spirited, manly-dude, who wishes to show the world that you march to the beat of your own Iron John drum circle, even as you not-so-surreptitiously air your junk out in public.
However, the Manolo would like to point out that your self-conception is dramatically at odds with how the rest of the world sees you. As the Manolo’s internet friend, the Lori, put it, “What is it about utilikits that take all of the sexiness, majesty, and coolness out of the regular kilt?”
Exactly. In the other words…
Real Scottish kilt, worn properly = The Sexy.
Utilikilt, worn by you = The Dorky.
The Manolo does not care how handsome you are, trust the Manolo, you look like the dork in the utilikilt.
Even Fabio, who looks good in the loincloth, would look like the dork in the utilitikilt.
Please, sir, put your pants back on.
So, for the sake of the rest of us, confine your unconventionality to strangely shaped mustachios, carefully sculpted beards, thinning ponytails, and bowler hats with steampunk goggles on the brim. Do not show us your bony knees, and do not potentially expose us, should you slip and fall, to the sight of your hairy bottom.
For the rest of us, please, do not wear the utilitikilt.