What ever you do, mortal, do no stare directly into the face of the Sarah Jessica Parker, lest ye be turned to stone.
Look! It is the Maggie Gyllenhaal, and she has come to the gala straight from the automat where she was restocking the sandwiches.
It is amazing what can be accomplished today with the animatronic technology. Still working on the artificial intelligence, though.
The Manolo can’t even… too much is going on here, for the example, there are the body parts that seem to be heading south for the winter, but are wrapped up as the Pennsylvania Dutch wedding gift. Please to explain?
In the truly just world, the Justin Beiber would, at this very instant, be getting the mother of all atomic wedgies.
Ayyy! Karen Elson is the bride at the Dagistani wedding!
Norman Bates brought his Mummie!
Query: When did the Katie Holmes become the Anna Wintour’s slutty little sister?
“Well, what are ya waitin’ for, sailor? A better offer?”
P.S. If you enjoyed this from the Manolo, you may also perhaps enjoy this blog about the food.]]>
Get ready for a blast from the past! 90s fashion is back, as seen on the catwalks at Topman Design and Shaun Sampson summer 2013 is seeing a big 90s revival. Key trends like double denim, neon brights, acid wash, all over prints, grunge style beanie hats and loose fitting fabrics are all must haves for this season. Now I’ll admit that the 90s look may seem difficult to pull off but when styled correctly you can make sure you don’t end up looking like the fresh prince.
Ayyyy! The 1990 have returned! Only without the roaring economy that made the execrable styles (such as the drop crotch jeans) seem tolerable.
Nostalgia for the 1990s? Why are we condemned to relive the era of grunge?
Why can we not have the nostalgia for the 1890s? That was the real decade of style. Cut-away coats and top hats, high button shoes with spats.]]>
Manolo says, to be more specific, the $5,000, orange-colored, hoochie-mama prom dress of your nightmares. Presumably, the “illusion” in the name of the dress is the reference to the belief on the part of the wearer that she is the person of stylishness.]]>
Manolo says, so much for the formerly “Smartest Man in the World.”
P.S. The tip of the hat to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Lisa, for finding this.]]>
Manolo says, the life of the male model, it is nothing but glamour and blue steel…
But, sometimes, all of the adulation, all of the women throwing themselves at you, it gets you down…
And you think to yourself, “maybe I should have listened to my Uncle Morty, and become the actuary.”]]>
Does not equal, this…
Yes, yes, the Manolo gets the idea. You are the unconventional, free-spirited, manly-dude, who wishes to show the world that you march to the beat of your own Iron John drum circle, even as you not-so-surreptitiously air your junk out in public.
However, the Manolo would like to point out that your self-conception is dramatically at odds with how the rest of the world sees you. As the Manolo’s internet friend, the Lori, put it, “What is it about utilikits that take all of the sexiness, majesty, and coolness out of the regular kilt?”
Exactly. In the other words…
Real Scottish kilt, worn properly = The Sexy.
Utilikilt, worn by you = The Dorky.
The Manolo does not care how handsome you are, trust the Manolo, you look like the dork in the utilikilt.
Even Fabio, who looks good in the loincloth, would look like the dork in the utilitikilt.
So, for the sake of the rest of us, confine your unconventionality to strangely shaped mustachios, carefully sculpted beards, thinning ponytails, and bowler hats with steampunk goggles on the brim. Do not show us your bony knees, and do not potentially expose us, should you slip and fall, to the sight of your hairy bottom.
For the rest of us, please, do not wear the utilitikilt.]]>
Manolo says, behold, the highest paid actress in Hollywood!
$34.5 million dollars for looking drippy in Balmain and Ed Grimley’s hairdo; $34.5 million for affectless performances that could be better done by the department store mannequin with the midget inside.
At least the mannequin-midget would look good in the clothes.
Speaking of which, the Manolo does not wish to be harsh, but girlfriend does not know how to wear the clothes, indeed, she seems uncomfortable in anything that does not have the drawstring. Slouching, scowling, muttering her way down the red carpet, at one movie premiere after the next; woe be to the designer who thinks he has found the perfect celebrity showcase, for Kristen Stewart’s anti-glamour makes everything look bad.
But, on the plus side, unlike the last highest paid actress, she will not be stealing Brad Pitt away from his woman.
And now the few examples, to prove the Manolo’s point…
This dress would be lovely, if it were not dun colored, and if Kristen Stewart were not wearing it.
Frankly, the Manolo does not wish to know what is going on here. Let us just say that he hopes Kristen Stewart is wearing clean underwear, and leave it at that.
Ayyyyy! Color-block pleatherette!]]>
Manolo says, speaking of the sort of peoples whose stage name might easily be Mercedes Luv, the Manolo presents to you the English media personality Jodie Marsh. (Imagine Tila Tequila without the talent.)
And now, just by looking at the above picture, the Manolo encourages you to imagine what sort of shoes this person might wear to accentuate this outfit…
The answer is below the fold…
Ayyyy! If you had “Teapot Shoes” in the office pool, you have won!
Here is the simple rule, if you are so crazy-desperate for the attention that you think wearing the teapot-shaped shoes is the good idea, you should perhaps take the little break.]]>
Manolo says, The Muses sometimes speak to us in strange ways.]]>
Ayyyy! So dashing!
Now: The Young Mark Zuckerberg…
Manolo says, it is the shower shoes that really bring the ensemble together.]]>