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Bad Fashion | Manolo's Shoe Blog - Part 10
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The Fashion Sinkhole

Manolo says, this story it is not the surprise to the Manolo.

If any discipline at the Winter Olympics had the potential to provide a platform from which to showcase the marriage of high style and high function, it would seem to be figure skating. Yet the glossy ice pond in Turin is a fashion sinkhole, as even the occupationally chirpy talking heads are aware. “Figure skating can have some pretty frightening costumes,” Sandra Bezic, a skating commentator on NBC’s team at Turino, said Tuesday night.

The problem is not the proliferation of “illusion” effects, in which parts are cut from costumes to suggest nakedness, the transparent sections replaced with tan Lycra. It is not that the costumers seem to have staggered off a Mardi Gras parade. It is not that a plague of two-tone or tone-on-tone velvets or random zippers or Chippendale’s tear-away effects or even rhinestones applied in shotgun pattern to every surface has swept the ice rinks. It is not even that bad is so opulently “Showgirls” bad that it can be read as ironic, hence “good.”

The problem is worse. It is that the kitsch that extends to everything from the grim expressionist ballet in the opening ceremony to the Old Glory bandannas to the fieldstone fireplace lighted with licking plastic flames on the NBC set has infiltrated consciousness so fully that it has become a denominator, the one authentically democratic aspect of the Games.

Of the course, the fans of the Project Runway know that the designing the costume for the skating it is not easy. Especially since the ice skating it is so elegant.

Yeeee Haw!

Manolo says, perfect for the living room rodeo!

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend the Wayne for sending him this ridiculous picture.

The Fashion Police

Manolo says, undoubtedly, the world it would be the much more super fantastic place if the Manolo actually did have the police powers.

The first law to be strenuously enforced? One must dress appropriately for the occasion.

Under no conceivable circumstance should one wear the slogan-bearing t-shirt to the Statement of the Union Speech. And, if you are silly enough to do this, you deserve to be led out in shame to the Capitol Rotunda where the gay-but-fashion-challenged Fab Five they will publicly make you over into the ridiculous metrosexual. This they should do even if you are the woman.

Trust the Manolo, wearing the political t-shirt to the formal ceremonial event, it does nothing for your cause. Indeed, the trivality of such attire, it perhaps even undermines the seriousness of your position.

P.S. By the way, the Manolo he has already addressed the issue of what is the appropriate feetwear to wear to the ceremonial events.

A Dog Party!

Manolo says, And now do you like my hat?

Early Friday Miscellany

Manolo says, Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

In Paris, it’s Hammer Time
!

Enough with the Pink Already!

Decoding the Body Language of Golden Globe Couples

Posh World Domination

Men’s Fashion from Barcelona

Manolo says, perversly, since the last time, the Manolo he is now looking forward to the Barcelona Fashion Week

Consider now the offerings of this season.

Argyle Li’l Abner lamp shade.

Velveteen Sherlock Home Boy

Broke Neck Mountain

Fashion Don’ts That Make The Manolo Crazy

Manolo says, from the Vivienne Westwood comes the trio of Fashion Don’ts That Make The Manolo Crazy.

Moobs.

Fascist Chic.

Nazi in the Net.

And here, please allow the Manolo to say the few words about the “transgressive” fashion.

The few words, they are “played out”.

The Manolo he is simply bored with the entire attempt to shock him with the “transgressive” fashion.

Trust the Manolo if the major bending-of-the-gender motion picture starring the James Garner and the Julie Andrews was made in the 1982, no one in the 2006 is going to be shocked by the image of the lady breasts on the man’s shirt. Instead, it is the opposite. Instead if you insist on parading such the item on your runway, most people they will just assume that you are not very bright.

Likewise, thanks to the overuse by “artists”, the material trappings of the mass murdering Nazis they no longer provide the uncomfortable frisson they once did. And now their appearance on the runway can be rightly viewed as yet the thousandth attempt to elicit the cheap reaction, and thus we are forced to conclude that your work it is the product of the shallow and immature mind.

So the number one fashion don’t that makes the manolo crazy, it is the transgressive that no longer transgresses.

The Carnivale of Couture #2

Manolo says, here is the second Carnivale of the Couture, in which many of the internet friends of the Manolo contribute their entries on the topic of “Fashion Don’ts That Make You Crazy”

The always cool coolchiq, she gives us the fashion don’ts for the summer of the 2006.

The delightful Pink Mirage, she is made crazy by the muffin top, the lobe-stretching earrings, and the disgusting toes.

The Designer Elle, she cringes at the mere thought of the Dr. Martens.

The I Am the Fashion girls they provide two of the fashion don’ts, don’t wear the distressed jeans and do not bling the bling.

The Manolo’s own Never teh Bride, she gives us her crazy-making wedding fashion don’ts.

The Verbal Croquis, these are the few of her least favorite things, to include the hated man purse.

The Bag Snob, she made the Manolo laugh with the rubric, These Boots Are Made for Dim Wits

The Persiflage
, she explores the repulsive fashion don’ts of the mens.

The legal divas of the Shangri Law, their fashion don’ts include the The Mentally Defective Baby-Tee and the K-Fizzle Chic

The Final Fashion, she wishes the adults to dress like the adults, and not the teenaged slobs.

For the Pet-Pet the pet peeve it is the turning of the puppy into the purse.

For the Pursed Lips, two words: fanny packs!

The Counterfeit Chic chick she expounds upon the fashion don’t of faking it.

The amusingly named blog, the Sense of Soot, they make the arguement that the pink it is not the new cute.

The Manolo’s favorite Italian fashion blog, the Red Apple, they provide us with the Italian fashion don’ts, to include the hat of the cowboy.

The Jack and the Hill, they ask the eternal fashion don’t ask question, Does My Ass Look Fat In These Pants.

The La Dolce Divas they despise the tennis shoe of puffy whiteness.

The Begin Each Day, she rails against the sports shoes in the non-sports context.

The Ditzy Spice she goes off on the Dukes of Daisy.

The Style Tribe, they hate the ugly loco logo wear.

For the Gemma the Catwalk Queen, it is the gaucho pants and the bag dresses, that are the don’ts.

And finally, as the antidote to the don’t, the Almost the Girl, to whom the Manolo owes the debt of gratitude for the idea for the Carnivale, she claims that there is no such thing as the fashion don’t!

If the Manolo he has neglected to include your contribution to this, or you would like to add your crazy-making don’t please email the Manolo.

The Valenki

Manolo says, recently the Manolo he has been hearing much talk about the Russian Valenki boot as being the next Ugg, the next ugly boot to be the big trend.

Here, allow the Manolo to nip this in the bud.

If you are the shuffling, toothless, 100 kilogram Russian babushka with the head scarf then by all the means, wear the valenki. If you are not the Russian granny then, in the opinion of the Manolo, you have no business wearing the Valenki.

Trust the Manolo, nothing says, Comrade, I have in my soviet-era apartment stockpiled 500 rolls of the low-quality toilet paper like the valenki.

Do not be the babushka, do not wear the valenkis.

Wicker Girl

Manolo says, ayyyy, she’s going to have ottomans!

The What Not to Wear, Wedding Division

Manolo says, the Never teh Bride, she has made the Manolo laugh out loud with this posting at the Bride Blog.

The Contest of the Ugly Sweater

Manolo says, Ayyyyyy! The Manolo’s internet friend the Knitilda, she is holding the contest to find the Ugliest Holiday Sweater!

This is, of the course, the topic that the Manolo has spoken of in the past.

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