Manolo says, “First he girded his goodly greaves about his legs, making them fast with ankle clasps of silver; and upon his belly he set the cumberbund which Byblos had designed for him as the fashion frippery.”
Manolo says, thanks to the YouTube and the cheap cell-phone camera one may now enjoy being frightened by the bad fashion via video.
The tip of the Manolo’s hat to his internet friend Ms. Place
Manolo says, the Manolo is not the easily frightened person, but occasionally he come across the fashion show that leaves him shaken.
Sometimes it is the models that scare the Manolo.
Sometimes it is the fashions
Occasionally, it is the designers.
Update: Ayyyyyyy, White-on-Fright II!!!
Manolo says, here from the Daily Mail is that saucy trollop the Victoria “Posh” Beckham wearing the ridiculous and dangerous looking spikey shoes.
And thus, with this picture, the Manolo now officially declares 2007,
The Year of the Fetish Shoe.
Forget for now the beautiful, elegant, and stylish shoes, and wear only those shoes which emphatically say to the public “the wearer of these shoes may be hired to satisfy your more outré desires.”
Five and the half inch stiletto heels? The height of fashion!
Weird dominatrix boots? Wear them to the red carpet!
Bizarre and clunky pony-play platforms ? Hottest shoe of the Fall!
It is all too much and too ridiculous, but do not worry, dear friends of the Manolo, this fashion moment shall pass.
Manolo says, all she needs is the black gloves and the helmet.
Manolo says, the Manolo has been looking at the photos from the big Costume Institute Gala at the Met to celebrate the opening of the show about the heroic fashion designer Poiret.
Here is the beautiful Salma Hayek, so pregnant that she needs the wheelbarrow, or two.
They’ve just returned from the old-timey photographers. The trip was not successful.
Ayyy! She is giving immodesty the bad name.
Manolo says, “influences are gathered from around the world to fashion a rich bohemian decor with an exotic air of opulence.“
Manolo says, two months ago, the Manolo announced that he no longer had any desire to ridicule the Britney Spears.
Lately, however, the Manolo has been sorely tempted to ridicule like the dickens, to ridicule as he has never ridiculed before, to ridicule like the wind.
But, the Manolo is the man of his word, and thus he shall restrain himself and attempt to make only the constructive criticisms.
First, from the most recent paparazzi photos, it is apparent to the Manolo that the Britney is groping for her own style, something which seems to involve the short-short skirts, the visible underwear, and the boots, lots and lots of the boots.
At the least she is trying. She wishes to be stylish but, sadly, she does not know how. She has tossed many trendy things together into the unslightly heap and then shouted “will it blend“.
The answer? No. It does not blend. It is still unsightly heap.
So, the Manolo must now prescribe the radical making over.
Britney Spears must, like the astronaut Steve Austin, be rebuilt from the ground up. Her closet must be emptied, her hats and shifts and frilly scanties must be burnt to ashes, and she must be guided by someone much smarter and more capable than she.
Who would this person be?
The Manolo the Shoeblogger, who else?
Of the course, the Manolo Plan for Personal Style is not the quickie fifteen minute daytime television make-over. It is something more akin to the arduous Kung Fu training, involving dedication, long hours of practice, and the seriousness of intent.
There would be books to be read, and movies to be watched, and lessons in elocution and deportment and how to sit like the lady…
Of the course, at this point, the Manolo would probably settle for getting her to regularly wear the underpants.
Manolo says, time to fire the stylist. Indeed, time to punch the stylist in the nose.
