Manolo’s Shoe Blog

Manolo says, what? Is he on his way to the hoedown?

Manolo says, sometimes the Manolo fears for the soul of the American heartland, such was the case when he stumbled across the following collection of photos, taken at the Country Music Television Music Awards.

Carrie Underwood, the White Beyonce.

Queer Eye for the country guys.

Good Lord, who opened the gates to the asylum?

Manolo says, so the Manolo sort of understands the hood with the golden balls, but why the flour?

Manolo says, the Manolo hated this look when it was supposedly fashionable two years ago. Now there’s no excuse for looking like this.

Manolo says, ayyyyyy! Her head is being swallowed by the giant crocheted albino worm!

Manolo says, fashion accessories for the people with goiters!

Manolo says, this is what most runway models look like without the stockings.

Manolo says, perfect for wearing with the Dorcs!

Manolo says, it is not often that the Manolo reads the runway review that makes him laugh out loud.

As the rigs got bigger and the girls’ expressions more frozen with fear, involuntary gasps escaped from the audience. “Oh my God, she’s listing!” hissed one observer. “I can’t look!” cried another. “That poor girl’s slipping!” shrieked someone else.

By pure luck, no one did fall, and when the applause came, Viktor & Rolf may not have realized it was all for the models’ heroic endurance, rather than for them. The mild-mannered and scrupulously polite Horsting and Snoeren can hardly be suspected of being closet sadists, but in this case their concept crossed over into cruelty. At the end, if they’d come out rigged up themselves—in clogs—they might have gotten away with it, but whatever point they were (perhaps) making about how each of us walks through life in her own imaginary fashion show, it couldn’t override the discomfort of the spectacle.

Imaginary fashion show?

This is not how the Manolo imagines his daily strut down the runway of life…

Lights! Camera! Topple!

As for the feetwear…

In the industry noted for the dumb conceptual “artistry”, this is one of the dumber examples.