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Fashion | Manolo's Shoe Blog - Part 2
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Marc Jacobs, Spring 2011: Who Wore it Better?

Anna Wintour in Marc Jacobs at Wimbeldon Finals

It is the tossup, really

Manolo asks, who wore it better? Malevolent crone, or freakish-scary doll girl?

P.S. From the Red Carpet Fashion Awards

Things That Make the Manolo Laugh: Balmain Pricing

Manolo says, from the same people who brought you the $1600 artfully ripped, surplus t-shrt comes the $5,500 rayon, tuxedo jumpsuit.

Balmain Satin-Trimmed Tuxedo Jumpsuit

Your boyfriend, The Sheikh, will love it!

Ayyy! Made of 95% viscose, 2% elastane, 3% polyamide!

Almost as entertaining as the Veblen good, aspirational pricing, are the sizing descriptions at the Net-a-Porter.

Close fitting style, stretch finish
Those with a curvy figure may wish to take the next size up
Model is 177cm/ 5’10” and is wearing a FR size 36

The French size 36 = US size 4.

Balmain Tuxedo Jumpsuit

Your size 4 buttocks will look marvelous in this rayon catsuit.

Yes, yes, the peoples who can afford this do not care about the price, and the peoples who care about the price cannot afford this, but still, this is another of the Balmain pieces (as good looking as it is) that strikes the Manolo as overpriced for no apparent good reason except to maintain the façade of exclusivity.

Manolo’s Thursday Miscellany

Manolo says, here are the few things which may intrigue…

Writing frumpy, lumpy prose is the equivalent of showing up on a first date with unwashed hair and dirty clothes, and then talking about yourself in a way that leaves the other person looking at her watch and remembering she has to do laundry.
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For my part, I consider the state of the bride’s hymen to fall firmly into the ‘none of my business, so please don’t share with me’ category.
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Vintage in Museum Archives & from Couture Auction Houses

Photo from The Worst Wedding You’ve Ever Attended

Wintour and Lagerfeld, Scaring the Horses.

Death Takes a Wife

Manolo says, the aged bride wore white, the groom ate your soul.

Einstein in Mandals!

Einstein in mandals? You would never see Isaac Newton in mandals

Manolo says, so much for the formerly “Smartest Man in the World.”

P.S. The tip of the hat to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Lisa, for finding this.

Should Fashion Bloggers be Licensed?

Manolo says, the Manolo was going to say something about this…

For me this gets to the heart of the whole question of non-regulation of fashion blogging, which has been celebrated as triumph of democracy in a dictatorial world (now everyone has a voice!) but also poses the dangers of opinion being automatically taken seriously, with no real knowledge on the part of the reader about the person opining, and the depth of what they may, or may not, know.

[…]

I’m not saying all fashion bloggers are dangerous (that would be a little hypocritical, no?), but maybe it is worth thinking about some sort of registry, or official database that requires certain disclosures that are verifiable.

But then he decided that it was just too egregiously stupid to pay much serious attention.

However, to be brief, if you are selling the counterfeit products (the event which occasioned this rant), then you should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Otherwise, the meddlesome, and sometimes rent-seeking peoples who wish to stick their noses into everyone’s business, should leave the fashion bloggers alone.

Sunday Slipper from Elizabeth and James

Grace in Dalmation Pony from Elizabeth and JamesGrace in Blue Pony from Elizabeth and James

Manolo says, yes, the slipper is the hottest thing among the fashion cognoscenti, which proves that, like the swallows to Capistrano, the classics will come back with surprising predictability.

Here is the Grace from Elizabeth and James, the classic pony hair slipper in Prussian blue or canine dalmation. Perfect for jaunting about town!

Zoolander was the Documentary

Even Ryan Reynolds would look like a dork wearing this get up.

Manolo says, the life of the male model, it is nothing but glamour and blue steel

But, sometimes, all of the adulation, all of the women throwing themselves at you, it gets you down…

At this moment, he's considering changing careers to insurance adjusting

And you think to yourself, “maybe I should have listened to my Uncle Morty, and become the actuary.”

Five Regency Gowns

Manolo says, the Manolo, who has just this past week joined the Pinterest, has been thoroughly enjoying himself, acting like the curious, acquisitive crow, gathering up various things that catch his eye, and nothing has been more catching of the eye, than the photos of the historical clothing.

Here, then, are five photos of Regency gowns (all dating from 1810 to 1820, and in various museums and collections around the world) that the Manolo has gathered together and now wishes to show you.

Empire Waisted, Regency GownEmpire Waisted, Regency GownEmpire Waisted, Regency GownEmpire Waisted, Regency GownEmpire Waisted, Regency Gown

Such marvelous fun!

The yellow gowns went in and out of fashion throughout the period, and the Manolo remembers the passage from Susan Edmonstone Ferrier’s 1818 novel, Marriage, in which one of the most wonderfully awful characters, Mrs May Gawffaw, wears the yellow silk gown.

Mrs Gawffaw was the daughter of a trader in some manufacturing town, who had lived in opulence and died insolvent. During his life, his daughter had eloped with Bob Gawffaw, then a gay lieutenant in a marching regiment, who had been briefly esteemed a very lucky fellow in getting the pretty Miss Croaker, with the prospect of ten thousand pounds. None thought more highly of her husband’s good fortune than the lady herself; and though her fortune never was realised, she gave herself all the airs of having been the making of his. At this time, Mr Gawffaw was a reduced lieutenant, living upon a small paternal property, which he pretended to farm; but the habits of military life, joined to a naturally social disposition, were rather inimical to the pursuits of agriculture, and most of his time was spent in loitering about the village of G____, where he generally contrived to either pick up a guest or procure a dinner.

Mrs Gawffaw despised her husband–had weak nerves and headaches–was above managing her house–read novels–dyed ribands–and altered her gowns according to every pattern she could see or hear of.

Such were Mr and Mrs Gawffaw; one of many ill-assorted couples in this world–joined, not matched. A sensible man would have curbed her folly and peevishness: a good-tempered woman would have made his home comfortable, and rendered him more domestic.

[…]

May’s reply consisted in putting her hands to her head, with an air of inexpressible vexation; and finding all her endeavours to be elegant frustrated by the overpowering vulgarity of her husband, she remained silent during the remainder of the repast; solacing herself with complacent glances at her yellow silk gown, and adjusting the gold chains and necklaces that adorned her bosom.

Such brilliant writing! The Manolo had almost forgotten about the very funny and perceptive Susan Ferrier, the writer whose world will thankfully never be invaded by zombies and sea-monsters.

There are Few Words More Depressing Than “Utilikilt”.

Manolo says, this…

Kilted Connery

The reason the kilt was invented

Does not equal, this…

Yes, yes, the Manolo gets the idea. You are the unconventional, free-spirited, manly-dude, who wishes to show the world that you march to the beat of your own Iron John drum circle, even as you not-so-surreptitiously air your junk out in public.

However, the Manolo would like to point out that your self-conception is dramatically at odds with how the rest of the world sees you. As the Manolo’s internet friend, the Lori, put it, “What is it about utilikits that take all of the sexiness, majesty, and coolness out of the regular kilt?”

Exactly. In the other words…

Real Scottish kilt, worn properly = The Sexy.
Utilikilt, worn by you = The Dorky.

The Manolo does not care how handsome you are, trust the Manolo, you look like the dork in the utilikilt.

Even Fabio, who looks good in the loincloth, would look like the dork in the utilitikilt.

No, just no.

Please, sir, put your pants back on.

So, for the sake of the rest of us, confine your unconventionality to strangely shaped mustachios, carefully sculpted beards, thinning ponytails, and bowler hats with steampunk goggles on the brim. Do not show us your bony knees, and do not potentially expose us, should you slip and fall, to the sight of your hairy bottom.

For the rest of us, please, do not wear the utilitikilt.

Kristen Stewart, Anti-Glamour

Nice Hair

Manolo says, behold, the highest paid actress in Hollywood!

$34.5 million dollars for looking drippy in Balmain and Ed Grimley’s hairdo; $34.5 million for affectless performances that could be better done by the department store mannequin with the midget inside.

At least the mannequin-midget would look good in the clothes.

Speaking of which, the Manolo does not wish to be harsh, but girlfriend does not know how to wear the clothes, indeed, she seems uncomfortable in anything that does not have the drawstring. Slouching, scowling, muttering her way down the red carpet, at one movie premiere after the next; woe be to the designer who thinks he has found the perfect celebrity showcase, for Kristen Stewart’s anti-glamour makes everything look bad.

But, on the plus side, unlike the last highest paid actress, she will not be stealing Brad Pitt away from his woman.

And now the few examples, to prove the Manolo’s point…

(more…)

Jodie Marsh Scares the Normal People

Jodie Marsh, All Natural Beauty

Manolo says, speaking of the sort of peoples whose stage name might easily be Mercedes Luv, the Manolo presents to you the English media personality Jodie Marsh. (Imagine Tila Tequila without the talent.)

And now, just by looking at the above picture, the Manolo encourages you to imagine what sort of shoes this person might wear to accentuate this outfit…

The answer is below the fold… (more…)

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