Manolo shouts, Happy Birthday to David Hasselhoff! On this day in 1952, the magnificent and talented David Hasselhoff was gifted to us by the Divine Artificer, commanded to move from his natural supercelestial home to this transitory sublunar world. Proof that the Almighty loves us and wishes us to be happy. Ayyyyyy! Look! The Manolo knows where he will be in August. How happy it makes the Manolo know that David Hasselhoff is still comfortable in his celebrity, for let us not forget, five years ago, the Manolo was named the Hasselhoff’s greatest internet fan, the Number 1 Hoffster! On…

Manolo says, not only must the magnificent Hasselhoff endure the public tauntings of these lesser talents, the judges (‘the potpourri of insanity?”), but to be the very first person voted off of the island? Such indignities are almost too much to bear!

Manolo says, in honor of the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall… The Manolo, who has many German friends, well recalls those first few moments of freedom. They are among the most remarkable moments of his life.

Manolo says, many of the Manolo’s internet friends have been writing to the Manolo to ask what he thinks of the new Knight Rider movie that is being shown on the television this night. Yes, the magnificent Hasselhoff, one of the greatest actors of his generation, will be appearing in the cameo role, however the lead will be played by someone else, which is the travesty of all that is right and holy. How can one have the Knight Rider movie without having Michael Knight and the original KITT? It is ridiculous. That is all the Manolo has to say,…

Manolo says, occasional readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 114. Late that afternoon it was still raining as 15,000 people in Barbours and wellington boots gathered in the deer park to watch the concert. At the last minute, the rain stopped and bright sunshine streamed down. I went on stage and said, “Earlier today I prayed to Diana, “Could you do this one last thing and part the skies?” And she did. It was the most amazing thing she did today. Thank you, Diana — this one’s for you.’ The Word of the Hoff!

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 103. Nobody knew I was in town so I enjoyed the freedom of not having to worry about paparazzi. Every day I’d drive across town from my rented apartment to visit my voice teacher and then go to the studio to record. One afternoon I had stopped at some lights when I saw a boy and a girl walking home from schoool wearing Knight Rider backpacks. I rolled down the window ‘Excuse me, have you seen KITT?’ ‘Errrrrrr, no.’ ‘My name is Michael Knight and I seem to have…

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 98. When the divorce papers arrived at my home, I invited Mom and Dad and eight friends to a party at La Cage aux Folles, the nightclub on La Cienega Boulevard where people went to get super-loaded while watching drag acts. The female impersonators had great fun getting the Knight Rider up on stage and singing Judy Garland songs to him. When I stepped off stage, the maître d’ said, ‘Mr. Hasselhoff, Mr. Liberace would like to buy you a drink.’ I looked over and saw Liberace lit up…

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 115. A few months later I checked into a big hotel in Johannesburg to make another film. This establishment was having trouble with one particular guest. People had complained to the management that a naked man was disturbing their sleep by swinging from balcony to balcony late at night. The culprit turned out to be Oliver Reed, the British actor, who was getting drunk and then doing a death-defying Tarzan impersonation high above the street. I had loved Reed’s performance in Women in Love and wanted to meet him,…