The Empress Ming the Merciless prepares to give birth to the new age of despotism!
Indeed, the Manolo is only half joking, for as the more he watched the Madonna-tacular show of the halftime, the more he was struck by the unshakeable impression that this was the sort of Nuremberg Rally for the new age of crass narcissism aborning.
Beginning with its imperial fanfare and militaristic pomp, progressing through the forced adoration of the Glorious Leader (L-U-V Madonna! L-U-V Madonna!), and culminating in her apotheosis as the goddess and chief priestess of her own cult of personality, Madonna was urging on us nothing less than her hegemonistic vision of the Madonna-based future.
“My name is Madonna, queen of queens:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Johnny Depp was a presenter over the weekend at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards and during his time on stage he proceeded to blow massive loads of green slime all over adoring children fans. Nothing wrong with that. Nope, not one bit. After all, it’s the innocence and naivety of children’s television shows and stars that make a rather suggestive act perfectly acceptable.
For example, take a look at teen star Taylor Momsen posing on the red carpet at the Kids Choice Awards:
The 17 year old starlet, also a presenter at the awards show, showed up looking appropriately bright eyed and innocent for the underage event. With her thick heavy black eyeliner, trashy extensions, and passive air of nonchalance, she is a prefect role model for today’s youth. The leather jacket and flimsy white tank work well with her black skinny jeans to construct a classic vampire-stripper-off-duty look. And the peeping fishnets that lead into those patent platforms are fit for a Suicide Girl. Why, she’s a glowing gem that any pre-teen hunk would love to bring home to mom.
In all seriousness, I’m just pleased that she put on a pair of pants for once.
The typical Momsen ensemble almost always includes a garter belt, some sort of corset top and platform heels. The fact that this look is considered “classing it up” for her is simply disturbing. People are commending her for this “improvement” whereas I just think she needs to be grounded until she gets an attitude adjustment. She is 17! And her fans are probably younger!
It’s teen stars like this that make Rebecca Black seem like a very viable option for the spotlight.
Manolo says, the Manolo reminds you that he is still on the crusade to convince the producers of Glee to cast the astoundingly amusing Lin Yu Chun as the Foreign Exchange Student.
To that end, the Manolo has started the Facebook group dedicated to that proposition. Please be so kind as to consider joining if you are at all concerned about increasing level of entertainment present on network television.
And now, for your viewing pleasure… Lin Yu Chun busts the move…
P.S. The Manolo has restated this case on the Celebrity Beehive.
Manolo says, Miss Plumcake taking ABC television to task for refusing to run the sexy, plus-sized Lane Bryant advertisement.
Please be so kind as to consider joining this group, and suggesting to your friends that they should also join.
Together we can change the course of the musical television history!
Manolo says, what can the Manolo possibly say that would do full justice to the utter awesomeness of this?
All the Manolo can do now is renew his call to the producers of Glee to cast Lin Yu Chun as the recurring Foreign Exchange Student character.
Here is more evidence to support the Manolo’s belief…
Manolo says, ayyyyyy! The destruction of the Spanish cultural patrimony is now complete.
Manolo says, in December the Manolo posted the infamous That Guy or the Diamonds commercial, which elicited over one hundred comments from the Manolo’s internet friends.
And now, here are two more, of the that guy commercials.
So, dear readers of the Manolo, these guys or the diamonds?
For the Manolo, the dog grooming and the pedicure giving fall under the category of “best handled by professionals”, so the diamonds win. But there is also nothing as romantic, as personal, or as welcome as receiving the handwritten letter of love from one who adores you, certainly not diamonds and pedicures and clean dogs.