Manolo’s Shoe Blog

Manolo says, ayyyyy! The best challenge yet, to grab the giant fistfuls of second-rate but popular candies and candy merchandises in the candy store and to transform this mass of junk into the fashion.

This was the sort of challenge that made the original Project Runway so delightful, and not something about which Michael Kors could ecstatically shout “super commercial!!!!”

For the Manolo, the best part of the evening was that the likable chubster Chris, over whom the Manolo had begun to despair, showed that he could produce the completely wearable, and yet also sophisticated, mature, and attractive outfit.

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Manolo says, finally, with this episode, the old make-it-work spirit of Project Runway has returned, and the value is again placed on creativity and not the commercial prospects of the outfits.

This challenge, to take the big lady clothes from the former big ladies and make them into something new and beautiful, was ingenious, especially as it forced the designers out of their comfort zones, and into the world of real peoples.

From the beginning it was good. Witness the moment when the models were paired with the designers. As the choices were made, some of the designers (Elisa in particular) seemed truly happy to meet the model, while others (Jillian, Christian, Victorya) could only manage the most forced of smiles. Such marvelous suffering on the faces of such shallow peoples!

And then it was good bye to the Jack. Yes, the Manolo often found you annoying, but he was still sorry to see you leave in this manner, and he wishes you well. You should be given the chance to come back in the next season, Daniel Franco style.

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Manolo says, ayyyy! Poor Chris, the Manolo was not ready for you to leave. Indeed, he found you to be among the most tolerable of this season’s personalities, especially when compared to the perpetually weepy/bitchy/whiney/annoying/moderately- untalented Ricky.

Chris, you were the sweet and charmingly funny grown-up person, and the Manolo devoutly wishes you had done better. Your outfit was not great, but it was by no means the worst, and your challenge (to make shoulder pads acceptable) was among the most difficult of all. The mistake in this case was to decide in favor of the 80s evening wear shoulder pads, instead of the much more trendy, 1940’s pencil skirt and shoulder pads. You went for Alexis Carrington when you should have aimed at Jane Russell and Barbara Stanwyk.

And so you were frog-marched off stage by Heidi, with the mocking jackal’s voice of Donna Karan (with her phoney-baloney, fake sincere smile) ringing in your ears.

Oh, how the Manolo wept bitter tears for 3.6 milliseconds, the exact amount of time he devoted to your made-for-television plight, before he returned to loathing Ricky.

As for the contest, this has the orange-stained hands of Michael Kors all over. Take three outdated and awful trends and revamp them in something anodyne that can be sold to the unsuspecting masses of fashion dunderheads. Brilliant!

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Manolo says, Ah, the menswear, it looks so simple: the pants, the jacket, the shirt. It is not as if the male fashions have really changed in the past 75 years (other than the deplorable trend toward 24/7 casualness), and yet why is it that so many famous and talented designers produce such utter crap when they turn their hand to the menswear?

It is simple. Menswear does not fall under the purview of the fashion designer. It belongs properly and only to the tailor, to men who have devoted their lives to the arcana of button holes and pick-stitched lapels and French facings, and who know that what matters most in menswear is material, cut, fit and detail.

You cannot really learn this at the fashion college. Such knowledge can only be acquired through long apprenticeships at the feet of masters. Yes, the big fashion firms can mass produce the similacra of good tailoring–the off-the-rack suits that look moderately presentable on the size 42 regular–but it is not the same.

And so it was the nearly impossible challenge that was given to the Project Runway peoples last night, one made truly impossible by the choice of Tiki Barber as the model.

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Manolo says, Ayyyyyy! The Project Runway has returned!!

Mira! All of our old friends are back: the handsome and oh so smarty, Tim Gunn, charmingly goofy and teutonic Heidi, the wonderfully bitchy Michael Kors, and our favorite “frenemy”, fashion editor Nina Garcia.

Also present was special guest judge, Monique Lhuillier, who is beautiful, and has this marvelous sheen, as if she had been freshly rubbed with olive oil in preparation for broiling.

As for the contestants, the Manolo has just barely begun to sort them out: there’s the crazy ethnic girl, the weepy Hispanic guy, the bitchy young queen, the “oh-no-she-di-int” fierce black girl, the nice girl who no one notices, the intense Asian girl, the old chick, and every possible version of gay man in the canon of fabulosity. Oh, yes, and Fred Flintstone, too.

One thing the Manolo could not help but notice was the surprising number of ugly tattoos. The Manolo might, just barely, sort of, understand the impulse to get the tattoo (if you have been in the merchant marine or prison) but he cannot comprehend why people who are supposed to be obsessed with beauty would choose such ridiculously ugly images.

Yes, we know, Tattooed Person, you are the outrageous rebel who must express your rebellious nature through the medium of permanent self-mutilation…you and 45 million other Americans.

But whatever. Aspiring fashion designers are not often noted for their common sense.

And so with the introductions cut mercifully short, it was off to the races, literally, as the designers began the first challenge by running across Bryant Park like the Charge of the Light-in-the-Loafers Brigade, headed for tents containing mounds of colorful fabric from which to construct the garment that “best expresses their designerosity”, or some such.

And, the few hours later, it was goodbye sweet and gentle Simone, you had the banging eyebrows, but your dress sucked. Although, the Manolo must note, not as badly as the thing produced by Elisa, who is apparently the extra character left over from Being John Malkovich. Giant Marionettes?

At the end, it was also, hello Rami, who was the winner, and deservedly so, for he produced the most beautiful dress, using the simple fabric worked and draped into the classically fresh form. It bodes well for his future.

Of the all the contestants, the Manolo was most annoyed by the bitchy Christian, not so much by the personality, but with his asymmetrical, Chris-”Leave-Britney-Alone”-Crocker hair-do. Does no one realize that these sorts of haircuts make the head look lop-sided, as if you were trying to hide the unsightly head tumor. Perhaps he has lost his right ear in the fabric trimming accident.

As for his dress, it did not deserve the excessive praise it received. The top was straight out of Ladie’s Home Companion, circa 1896.

The Manolo must now go and watch the reruns of this episode and see if he can sort out the various contestants, and their corresponding desgins. Perhaps tomorrow he shall offer more the substantive critique of their work.

Here below, stolen from the Manolo’s friends at Blogging the Project Runway, are all of the designs from last night.

Manolo says, oh, how the Manolo his pined for the return of the Project Runway! So many long, long months of waiting.

And now, we are the mere 24 hours away from the resumption of this favorite reality show of the Manolo.

Naturally, the Manolo is planning on having the giant viewing party with the Posse Manolo to celebrate the beginning of the new season. You may be certain that the bitchy quips will flow like sparkling wine vinegar.

Also, in preparation, the Manolo has been faithfully reading the most important Proect Runway resource on the intertubes, the Blogging the Project Runway Blog, run by the Manolo’s long time internet friends, Laura K, and Scarlett, and the T-Bone. If you love the Project Runway you should be reading this blog.

By the way, it is at the Blogging the Project Runway that the Manolo discovered the Tresemme BPR Fantasy League, the game where you pick each week’s winners in advance and win the prizes. Of the course, at this stage of the game, there is no skill involved in picking the winners, as we know little about the contestants, that it is all chance.

However, soon that will change.

In the meantime, here is the preview of the show in which the designers are introduced…

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Manolo says, with Fred Flintstone as one of the competitors?

P.S. Be certain to visit the Manolo’s friends at the Blogging the Project Runway for all of the details.

Manolo says, the Manolo’s close friends at the Blogging the Project Runway ask the question on everyone’s mind, where is Season 4?

Manolo says, ayyyyyy! The it was the much delayed but mostly satisfying Bryant Park grande finale Project-Runway runway show, featuring the models who can’t walk, Tim Gunn verklempt again, and odious troglodytes in the audience!

The Manolo shouts, Congratulations to the Jeffrey! The Manolo thought that this was the right decision, as his final collection was not only beautiful in places, but also had the strong original point of view. Although, as usual, he himself dressed it the style which may best be described as “dissipated Rock-n-Roll hobbit”.

As for the rest, the Michael’s collection was the weakest, filled with the booty shorts and hoochy dresses made from the crazy patterns and over-the-top spangles, which it is too bad because the Manolo truly wanted the Michael to win as he is so sweet and had done such good work in the past.

The Laura, who is a) married to the ghost of Einstein, and is b) the far more petty and jealous person than the Manolo had first assumed, (”I’m not questioning your integrity, you filthy cheater…”) produced the absolutely beautiful clothes, which would not have looked out of place in the collection of the Oscar de la Renta, which was the problem, as it all seemed derivative. Yes, wonderfully derivative, but derivative nonetheless.

And the Uli did the Uli thing, beautifully, wonderfully, with a level of sophistication that was impressive, but it seemed limited in that they were ultimately clothes to be worn by the recent Palm Beach divorcees, with all that that implies. Sadly, there is something vaguely muumuu-ish about her work.

And now, what else is there left for the Manolo to say, other than that he is sad to see the Project Runway end, and that he eagerly awaits the return of this show. He also profoundly hopes that next season will feature more designing and less whining.