OCT
2009
13

Karl Lagerfeld Hates You!

Manolo says, the evidence seems incontrovertible, Karl Lagerfeld Hates You!

Curvy women have no place on the catwalk, iconic German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld was quoted as saying, after a fashion magazine said it was banning skinny models in favour of “real women”.Evil Little Man, Karl Lagerfeld

“No one wants to see curvy women,” Lagerfeld was quoted as saying on the website of news magazine Focus on Sunday.

“You’ve got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly,” he added.

The world of fashion is about “dreams and illusions”, he said, dismissing as “absurd” the debate prompted by Brigitte magazine which said it would no longer feature professional models on its pages.

“Surely,” you are saying to yourself, “Karl was not referring to me. I mean, I like potato chips, and am a little bit curvy, but still he doesn’t hate me, right?”

No, it is you (and cuddly furry animals) that Karl hates the most!

In fact, it is much worse that you imagine: Karl Lagerfeld hates you and loves…CLOGS!!!

The Kaiser has spoken, and evidenced from yesterday’s Chanel show, the word is clogs. While I myself love them, they can be a bit awkward to actually walk in and somewhat “Hey guys, wait up!” when it comes to cruising quickly on your feet through city streets. But really, what’s going on here? What was once reserved for surgeons in the O.R. and argumentative vegans has just been elevated to a new level. Is this Crocs crossover? Well, never mind, either way. If it’s good enough for Karl, bring it on.

If this is not conclusive proof that Lagerfeld is evil, the Manolo does not know what is.

JUN
2009
05
AUG
2008
26

Und, Vhat Are We Going to Do Tonight, Brain?

Manolo says, the Manolo suspects this is some sort of elaborate scheme for world domination.

German teddy bear makers Steiff have created a teddy bear in the likeness of German designer Karl Lagerfeld. The Karl Lagerfeld Steiff teddy bear is dressed in Karl Lagerfeld’s signature style, a black suit with a white striped shirt and a black tie with black sunglasses. Only one thousand five hundred will be made and will be available from a very limited number of stores world wide.

Consider, 1500 tiny ursine minions, standing ready to do their evil master’s bidding.

Ayyyy! It looks so innocent…but then, so did Chucky.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend Linda

MAY
2008
20

2nd Amendment Chic

Manolo Ayyyyyy! The Evil One is now armed!

Karl’s got a gun. Several dozen, in fact, and he showed them off at Thursday night’s carnival of a cruise collection, shown quite literally in the pool of South Beach’s famed Raleigh Hotel.

As the Manolo’ s internet friends at Fashionologie (from whom the Manolo found this story) have pointed out, these are not merely for the runway, but will actually be manufactured and sold by Chanel.

Normally, the Manolo would be tempted to read some greater societal message into the appearance of such overtly gangsta bling shoes on the runway, but it is clear from everything the Manolo has read that they are here only because his Malignant Karlness thought they were cool.

In other words, sometimes the fake gun is just the fake gun.

APR
2008
01

The Ghost of April’s Fool Past

Manolo says, happily, this year, the Manolo was able to prevent the reoccurrence of this catastrophe…so far.

JAN
2008
25

Pocket Evil

Manolo says, at last, something to put on the dashboard of your car…in Hell!

Already an icon in his own right, Karl Lagerfeld is becoming a collectible, too. The designer has collaborated with Pixi on a miniature lead figurine of himself in his trademark regalia. The doll is being issued in a limited run of 1,000 figures and is on sale exclusively in Paris at Colette for 200 euros, or about $300.

Skull Island, Secret Lair Playset not included.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend Genevieve for alerting the Manolo to this keepsake of evil.

Roberto Cavalli Halloween: The Scariest Costume Ever!

Manolo says, in the past the Manolo has criticized Roberto Cavalli for his lack of restraint as the designer, but one could never say that Cavalli does not have the marvelous sense of humor. For what could be funnier/scarier than to appear dressed as Karl Lagerfeld?

OCT
2007
25

Karl on Karl: The Love Story

Manolo says, here from the New York Post is the amusing review of the Evil One’s movie, Lagerfeld Confidential.

‘THE few people I know who knew me as a child say I was like a male Shirley Temple – rather unbearable and spoiled,” muses designer Karl Lagerfeld in “Lagerfeld Confidential,” the Rodolphe Marconi documentary that makes its American premiere at Film Forum on Wednesday.

The film is a compilation of behind-the-scenes footage from Chanel and Lagerfeld’s eponymous line, as well as no-holds-barred interviews with the designer and vignettes from Lagerfeld’s childhood. It offers viewers an unprecedented level of access to Lagerfeld’s private life.

In the documentary, his home – stashed to the rafters with books, magazines, iPods, Chrome Hearts jewelry and dozens of rails of black clothes – is on open display. So are the private moments, like Karl walking around in his bathrobe and Karl without his sunglasses.

Beware, the Devil’s Eyes!

OCT
2007
11

The Kaiser Oppresses

Manolo says, the Manolo’s internet friend Helene at the Luxe Chronicles has two pieces about how the Evil One has worked hard to suppress negative publicity about his koo-koo-nutty ways.

The first post is about the omissions and manipulations surrounding the making of his new movie, Lagerfeld Confidential

After all, this is the man who went to extraordinary lengths to prevent the publication of Alicia Drake’s, The Beautiful Fall: Fashion, Genius and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris in which she details the excesses, ambitions and feuds between le beau monde of that glamorous period including Lagerfeld’s longstanding feud with Pierre Berge and Yves Saint-Laurent. Why then would anyone think Karl Lagerfeld would actually reveal himself to us in a documentary film? He certainly didn’t reveal anything of himself in Loic Prigent’s documentary Signe Chanel for the Arte network in 2005. And why should he? Our celebrity obsessed, voyeuristic need to “reveal” every deeply personal and sometimes sordid detail of someone’s life is silly. Why can’t we simply accept his many offerings: beautiful clothing and accessories at Chanel, fabulously luxurious collections at Fendi and cutting edge cool from his eponymous fashion line?

The second post is about the purposeful suppressing of the new tell-all book, Merci Karl, written by The Evil One’s former assistant Arnaud Maillard.

And why is that you ask? That would be because it pertains to Karl Lagerfeld and Karl Lagerfeld works for Chanel and LVMH (he designs the Fendi collection). Both Chanel and LVMH spend astronomical amounts of money in advertising each year in the French, American and British press and cultivate very cosy relationships with all the major fashion editors. Consequently, the French fashion press will not touch this book with a ten foot pole. The book’s radioactivity extends to the British and American fashion press for the same reasons and it doesn’t stop there. Even Paris Match (France’s answer to People magazine) and Madame Figaro have omitted any coverage.

Happily for us, Helene has promised to give us the juicy details as soon as she can secure the copy of this book.

OCT
2007
09

Danke Schön

Manolo says, your mindless sycophancy has burnished the ebony of my heart.

OCT
2007
01

Lagerfeld Does Playboy?

playboyfrance.jpg

Manolo says, thank Heavens, it is as the photographer, and not the model.

AUG
2007
24

Scary Movies

Manolo says, ayyyyy! Lagerfeld Confidential is coming to the Film Forum.

If you do not consider this ominous news, just read at the quote that accompanies this announcement…

“I don’t want to be a reality in people’s lives. I want to be like an apparition.” – Karl Lagerfeld

Ayyyyyyyyyyyy! We are all going to be haunted by Lagerfeld!