Manolo’s Shoe Blog

Manolo says, it is Tuesday and you are back at your desk doing whatever it is you normally do, but very badly, as you are completely distracted by Thanksgiving, which is now barreling down upon you like the runaway freight train full of free-range turkeys.

Thanksgiving was not supposed to be crazy this year. It was going to be just you and Gary and the kids and your mother. But then your mother called two weeks ago, and said she’d invited your Uncle Bill to fly out from Buffalo for Thanksgiving.

“Okay,” you thought, “one more won’t hurt. Uncle Bill is an old school nut who will probably goad Gary into an argument about professional football. But one more won’t hurt.”

And then your mother informed you that Uncle Bill insisted on inviting his son, your layabout cousin Billy, to fly in from Hollywood to join you. Billy calls himself the “writer-director-actor-producer,” although what he really is is the 43-year-old, cut-rate playboy who subsists on the variety of menial jobs and handouts from your uncle. Although, to his credit, he did once appear as the non-speaking extra on Will and Grace, in the distant background, as the coffee shop patron.

Speaking of people subsisting on handouts, two days after your mother’s call, your daughter Jeannie, who is away at the college, called to say that she has invited some dorm friends home for Thanksgiving — three foreign girls and one Latvian boy — who have nowhere to go for the holiday.

“The more the merrier,” you think. And then the conversation takes the surreal turn.

“Mom,” says Jeannie, “one of the girls is from Africa, and in her culture the turkey is considered sacred.”

“What?”

“We can’t have turkey, because Ki’x'il’ko,” the name included three clicks and the pop, “says her people consider the turkey to be a type of sacred spirit.”

Later, when you tell Gary that you’re going to have to order goose for Thanksgiving, his reply is succinct.

“Bull-crap. The turkey is sacred to my people, too, especially when served with sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce.”

“But we can’t be offending this girl.”

“Tell her it’s a really big chicken. Nobody thinks chickens are holy.”

And then five minutes after you get off the phone with the butcher, who informs you that you cannot order the 23-pound goose, so you’ll need three smaller birds, Jeannie calls back.

“Mom,” she says, “Ki’x'il’ko says it’s okay to have a turkey. She looked up the word. It’s ostrich that’s supposed to be sacred to her people.”

Luckily, you were able to call the butcher back and cancel the flock of geese.

And now, on Tuesday, with two days to go, you are frazzled and distracted from your work. And yet you are also filled with pride that everyone would consider your home and your family as being the good place to celebrate this important holiday.

Look, here is the Christian Louboutin Feticha Botta Platform Boots, simple, beautiful, dead sexy.

Manolo says, above are two similar tall boots from Stuart Weitzman, the Lacemeup and the Buttonup. The Manolo likes both, very much, indeed they are both super fantastic.

And now here is the interesting psycho-stylistic question: Which do you find sexier, the buttons or the laces?

Although, as with all matters of sexiosity, personal taste will undoubtedly figure in your answer, the Manolo has decided, after much deliberation, that he finds laces to be inherently more sexier than the buttons.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I live in Boston, which has already had some snow this year, and have need of some boots that can withstand the slushy streets and salty sidewalks. While rejecting all form of Ugg-liness thus far, my feet have been very cold, as every pair of boots I find is either made for the abominable snow monster, or for an indoor kind of person. I don’t have a car, so I also need something walkable. Are there any such winter boots (preferably $200 or under) that do not offend the discriminating eye?


Miriam

Manolo says, for much of the country winter has arrived far too early this year, pushing us out of our fantastically trendy but thin-sided boots into feetwear fit for the Earnest Shackleton expedition.

And while such feetwears may insure that your toes do not turn black and fall off while you are waiting for the bus, they also insure that the young men who are waiting for the bus with you, will refer to you as “Dude”, as in “Dude, whatta say we get a brewski, watch the Celtic’s game, and chase some ladies?”

But fear not, for sexy feminine snow boots can come from the most unlikely source, such as Timberland! Here is the Timberland Urban 14” Round Heel boot.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I need a bit of extra help. I’ve been living in Central Asia for the past 6 years, so I’ve been out of the fashion loop for awhile and don’t know what’s in style. I have a great denim pencil skirt which I could wear with slides over the summer, but what to do now that it’s cooler? I tried it with boots but it looked like I was wearing Wellingtons and a gunny sack. Don’t worry, it’s not a long skirt. At least, I know that the hippie/granny thing is a faux pas.

Tracey

Manolo says, the way the Manolo’s friend has described her exile, it is as if she were the movie star trapped on Gilligan’s Island, without access to Vogue or basic cable television.

And now the rescue boat has arrived, and she realizes that she has been wearing the same out-of-date, peach-colored, Bob Mackie gown for the whole six years.

“Ayyyyy! Professor Manolo, help me!” She shouts, “the paparazzi will be waiting for me at the pier. Hurry! Style me to so I may not be embarrassed by my photo on the cover of People”

“Here,” says the Professor Manolo, “I have fashioned you this denim pencil skirt out of the Skipper’s pants. Wear it with these thick, ribbed tights and these retro, oxford-style suede booties which have washed ashore. They are the Elise from Via Spiga, and I have scientifically calculated that the trends this year include ankle boots such as these and patterned tights, so you should be fine.”

Manolo says, just in time for the early winter, here is the reasonably-priced tall boot from Cole Haan, something that the working girl could invest in and enjoy for many seasons to come.

Manolo says, one of the saddest mathematical formulas of all…

Monday + You + Desk = The End of Yet Another Weekend.

Sigh.

Remember when you were the little girl and you dreamed of growing up to be the prima ballerina/big animal veterinarian who was married to David Cassidy (or Merrill Osmand) and lived on the fifty acre horse ranch located in Central Park? (Actually, you lived in the Plaza, like Eloise. The ranch was across the street.)

And then you wonder…whatever happened to David Cassidy? And so you Google him up and there he is! With the horses and the age-appropriate wife, and he seems uxorious.

And look! He is touring. And so you immediately begin to lay plans to go to Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania (wherever that is) in February. And you email you best girlfriend ever, Melissa, and start thinking about your outfit, as only the best will do for your former fantasy husband!

Pennsylvania in February? You will need fabulous boots…from Prada!

Sophisticated, worldly, intellectual Prada.

And the next thing you know you are singing to yourself, and you think that Mondays are perhaps not so bad after all.

This morning I woke up with this feeling
I didn’t know how to deal with
And so I decided to myself that I just hide it to myself
And never talk about it and didn’t I go and shout it
When you walked into the room
I think I love you, I think I love you.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo

I’m off to study abroad in fabulous London for five months beginning this January. My travel books tell me to expect rain, rain, rain, but my beloved Pucci wellies neither fit into my suitcase nor the London fashion scene. Do you have any suggestions for some fab footwear that will get me from my flat to class (then maybe off to Soho for some shopping) and through all of the puddles in between? I’m looking for something under $200…after all, a girl needs a little extra cash for shopping in Paris!

Anna

Manolo says, London? What better place to shop for the new pair of Wellingtons, than in the place where they were invented!

Of the course, given the rapidity with which the American dollar has weakened over the past few months, by the time the Manolo’s friend arrives at Heathrow, two hundred dollars will be just enough to purchase the lamentably English meal of baked beans and strange sausages, with perhaps enough left over for the side dish of Marmite.

As for the matter of stylishness, the Manolo thinks few things are as stylish as the Pucci wellingtons, however, if they must stay behind, then the Manolo suggests the weatherproof Tula from La Canadienne to keep you warm, dry, and well-shod as you trudge through the slushy streets of mid-winter London.

Manolo says, where the Manolo is, it is the rainy day Thursday, and what better way to deal with the rain than Burberry!

What is that?

You were perhaps thinking of your Burberry wellingtons, or maybe the Burberry raincoat?

Not the Manolo. When he thinks of Burberry, he now thinks of these stunning lace-up ankle boots, which are in the degrade color “trench”. Trench? Why it is just like the coat! Better even!

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Manolo answers, it is the Diane Kruger!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend Maggie who was the first to both respond and identify this week’s personage of note.