Manolo says, outside it is 206 degrees below zero (Fahrenheit), and the snow is piled fifteen feets deep on the sidewalks, drifting to twenty-seven feets in the places.

But you have to go out to the Duane Reed because you need the milk, the toilet paper, the cat food, and maybe some smoky taupe eye-liner, because you have just read something at one of the beauty blogs, and you only have the smoky bisque color on the hand.

But you are in the quandary, because your flimsy, unlined rain boots, in the pinkish color, will not keep your feets warm. And the only other suitable feetwear are the fugly moon-boots you brought with you from Wisconsin, and you need to look your best, because you have heard that many of the major banks are closed because of the blizzard, and you suspect that there will be the hunky young investment bankers on the streets, having the spirited snowball fights. (This is Manhattan, yes?)

If only you had bought something practical and stylish, something like these Karisse boots from La Canadienne.

These are the sort of toasty-warm, weatherproof, feminine boots that, paired with the right smoky taupe eye treatment could win the heart of even the most jaded wunderkind.

Ayyyy! And look! They are on the sale! More than $115 of the American dollars off of the usual price!

Manolo says, you were struggling through the slush this morning to get to your place of employment, when suddenly it occurred to you that what you really needed was the sleigh, with the bob-tailed horse and the jingly bells,.

And then, as you were thinking this, your mind wandered, as it frequently does, to the costumery needed for the activity, at which point you realized that you had no boots suitable for the sleigh ride!

And then, this afternoon, you surf to the site of the Manolo, for your daily chuckle of shoe-based super fantasticness, and you see that the Shoeblogger is recommending these Oscar de la Renta Suede Lace-Up Ankle Booties for the sleigh riding.

“But, Manolo,” you might be saying, “these boots are not suitable for riding in the one-horse open sleigh.”

To which the Manolo would reply, “please, do not trouble the Manolo with your petty doubts.”

These boots are perfect for the sort of sleigh ride you would desire most. The sort where the strapping North Country Man, in the fur jacket and hand-knitted muffler, carries you straight from the front stoop of your building into the seat of his sleigh, without your feets touching the snow. Once properly seated, he would tuck you safely under the fur blanket (while perhaps stealing the most decorous kiss), take the reins and whirl you through the winter wonderland, laughing all the way.

So, of the course, these are the perfect boots for riding in the sleigh.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column fo the Express of the Washington Post.

Dearest Manolo,

I would like to get a pair of rain shoes/boots. I live in Florida, with frequent trips to NYC and the lake region in Italy, so they need to be stylish. I would also be doing a lot of walking, so comfort is important, but second to style.

Yours,

Klee

Manolo says, the Manolo’s friend is regularly traveling to the New York City and the Italian Lake Region, home of the Lake Como? If she had also said that she spent much time in the Hollywood, the Manolo would certainly have thought that she was dating George Clooney.

But then, if she WERE dating the George Clooney, the Manolo’s friend would not be needing the rain boots, because no matter where she was it would be sunny.

Sadly, there is only one George Clooney, and it is unlikely that you will be “hooking up” with him anytime soon, given that you are probably not the statuesque, 24-year-old ex-bartender/lingerie model/club hostess/aspiring actress with the dubious background ( the Manolo apologizes to you, if you are.)

And because George Clooney is not your real boyfriend, only your secret, pretend boyfriend you WILL be needing the rain boots because it is probably raining where you are, hard.

Here is the Interlaken from Hunter, the wedge-heeled rain boot that will help forget about George Clooney and move on with your new secret boyfriend, Christian Bale

Manolo says, one of the Manolo’s internet friends has asked him the question.

Dear Manolo,

I was lucky enough to have scored these beautiful, gray Manolo Blahnik Nesta fur ankle boots on sale for 40% off.

The problem is I’m not sure what to do with them. They’re so fabulous but in this peculiar retro kind of way that does not mesh with my usual sense of style. I’m more of an edgy, minimalist kind of girl; think skinny jeans, motorcycle boots, thigh high boots, lots of black, you get the idea.

These boots are so not part of my usual repertoire, but they captured my heart and now I am at a complete loss. The salesperson suggested a fur scarf or fur-trimmed something or other, but I’m afraid that would make me look like the White Witch from the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Is this the kind of footwear that can only be worn while sitting on a sleigh surrounded by elf minions? Say it ain’t so, because I live in Seattle where sleighs and elves are in short supply. Would you be so kind as to suggest a few possible outfits? Casual and dressy?

Thank you so much for all your awesomeness! You never fail to amuse and tempt me with your humor and delicious shoe selections. Love you!

Hien

For the Manolo, the biggest news in this note is that the Nordstroms now carries the shoes of the Maestro!

Soon, the Capital of Grunge shall become the Locus of Super Fantastic!

And this letter, it is proof of the civilizing qualities of the Manolo Blahnik shoes. Before this, our internet friend was content to wear the dour black, like the punk rock Spanish grandee.

But now she wishes to be… super fantastic!

Actually, the Manolo thinks that his friends fashion instincts, although perhaps overly muted, are essentially sound, especially as this magnificent shoe is one that will work with almost anything she might wear: tights, rocker-girl jeans, the shorty punkish skirt, with the black cashmere sweater

The one thing the Manolo would recommend, however, is the addition of the short flair coat, because these are the shoes for wearing when… Baby. It’s. Cold. Outside.

Perhaps something like this Diane von Furstenburg Lady Coat

But, regardless, these are indeed the most super fantastic booties!

Manolo says, and now, please allow the Manolo to recommend the few gifts for the menfolk in your life…

Above you see the Kindle electronic reader gizmo thingy from the Amazon. Frankly, the Manolo has had no personal experience with the Kindle thingy-gizmo, but, nonetheless, he is devoutly hoping that Santy Claus will bring him one, because it is cool, and he likes to read, and his shoulders hurt from carrying around the sack full of reference books and G.A Henty novels.

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This chukka-ish men’s boot from the Gucci, it is swanky and yet perfectly masculine, and green!

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“What is this, ties?” you are perhaps saying, “Please, Manolo, do not insult us with your weak gift-fu.”

But wait, says the Manolo, at the Personally Thomas Pink you can customize your man’s tie, picking out the exact colors schemes that match his peculiar ruddy-pasty-swarthy-freckled complexion. This is the perfect gift, for not only do you have the pleasure of selecting the colors, but he will now have the tie that makes him look his best!

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The cardigan, it has never really gone out of style for certain pipe-smoking, den-dwelling, model-ship-in-the-bottle segments of the population, but now, it is back, baby, with the vengeance, and here is the Allen from Jack Spade.

What, your man will not wear the sweaters? Show him this picture above, and tell him it will make him look like one of the young Beach Boys, before the crazy and gurus.

Manolo says, if you are intent upon doing part of your shopping from the comfort of your own computer, the Manolo has the

At the ShoeBuy, you may take 20% off of your entire purchase and get the free shipping if you enter the coupon code “KICKOFF”.

Perhaps it is time to finally buy those classic Blundstone 500 boots for your man?

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At the Shoes.com you may take 20% off of your entire purchase by entering at the checkout the coupon code “CYBER”.

Perhaps you can reward your own hard work in the run-up to the holidays with new shoes. These beautiful and happy-making Pucci shoes are already discounted 60%, and you may reduce it another 20%!

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The Shopbop.com has the big discounts for the purchases, if you enter the coupon code “BIGEVENT” at the checkout.

Your daughter, the stylish one, might very well appreciate these wedge-heeled Hunter rain-boots with the lace-up details.

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Of the course, many other retailers have the amazing Cyber Monday deals, retailers such as the Amazon, the Famous Footwear (coupon code “CYBER20″), the Soft Surroundings (coupon code “2211022″), the Brooks Brothers, and the Bluefly, also the Rock and Republic and the Kenneth Cole stores at the eBay.

Manolo says, these Alexander McQueen boots, they leave the Manolo…meh…not so excited.

What is the price? Ayyyyyyyy! The are made of pure unobtanium!

Manolo says, in this morning’s column for the Express of the Washington Post, the Manolo must admit that he felt constrained by the restrictions imposed by his internet friend.

Yes, the Jenny by La Canadienne is the marvelous everyday boot for the months of poor weather, and it certainly fits the requirements of the question, but it is, to the mind of the Manolo, perhaps too plain to be truly and absolutely super fantastic. Therefore, please allow the Manolo to make the few additional recommendations…

Here is the Cookie from Aquatalia by Marvin K., the suitable weatherproof alternative to the La Canadienne boots.

However, for those who wish to violate their self-imposed fashion austerity with the little bit of designer bling…

The Donovan Logo Boot by Tory Burch.

Of the course, if our besotted suitor wishes to be the super fantastic super hero in the heart of his beloved, he will completely ignore her demurrals and offer to her these…

The Miss Tack Botta 85 Tall Boot by Christian Louboutin.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I love my girlfriend. She is beautiful. Clothes are beautiful because she wears them. And she needs new boots. Hers are all scuffed up beyond what a polish can do. The heel is crumbling.

The problem is that she has very, very particular taste. She wants them to be black, knee high, square toed and with a rectangular/square heel that is no more than 3.5 inches. Here are the difficult restrictions: a) No wedge heels. b) No buckles. c) Nothing with brass or gold, but silver is okay. d) Side zippers are preferable.

Can you help me buy her something for autumn and winter?

D.C.

Manolo says, while the Manolo appreciates the sentiments which would inspire one to purchase the feetwear for the beloved beauty, he must, as always, caution his friends that proper shoe fitting is exceedingly difficult without the presence of the feets in question, the fact which makes the giving of the shoes as gifts problematic.

Of the course, if one purchases from the establishment with the generous return policy, then such concerns are not prohibitive, and happily, it appears that the Manolo’s friend has carefully studied the tastes and feets of his beloved, and knows what she likes and needs, which is the sensible boot for wearing everyday.

Here is the Jenny from La Canadienne, the simple, strikingly unadorned boots which have the advantage of being weather proof.

Manolo says, in America is is the Election Day, and so, let us give the three cheers for the Red, the White and the Blue!

And now, allow the Manolo to gently remind you, if you are the American, to do you civic duty.

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk both exhausted and filled with candy, principally the Snickers, with the miscellaneous assortment of Skittles, Runts, Jolly Ranchers and Tootsie Rolls filling the smaller spaces in your digestive tract.

Frankly, you are agitated, your mind filled with many questions, for the example:

Query: When did the full-sized candy bar become the mark of civic generosity?

Query: Does your insistence on handing out the “Fun Size” bars of candy mean you are the bad person whose shrubbery and home should be covered in toilet paper?

Query: Were you wrong to scowl ferociously at the three hulking teenagers who came to the door late in the evening dressed as Juggalos? Did you not drop the single fun-sized Baby Ruth into each of their bulging pillowcases, despite the distaste you felt?

Query: How difficult is to get congealed egg yolk off of your automobile?

You know what it is you need now?

Shoes!

Look! Here is the strikingly original Chinese-basket-esqe open-toed platform ankle boots from Alexander McQueen.

Exactly what is needed to erase the bitter taste of post-Halloween shame

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m supposed to help at my daughter’s grade school’s Fall Festival next weekend. The problem is, that the festival will be held outdoors if it doesn’t rain, but even then, the field is sure to be muddy and wet, and all I have is a pair of whimsical lady bug rain boots I purchased several years ago in a moment of weakness. I’m a single mom, so I’d like to look a little more sophisticated, because, well, you never know. Please suggest something.

Lisa

Manolo says, it is true, that we have entered the era of the whimsical wellie, of the adult women strutting about in public wearing the rain boots more suitable for the toddlers.

And while the Manolo is not opposed to the certain level of amusement and colorfulness in the rain boots, he must draw the line at the frogs, the rubber duckies, and pink pirate boots, all of which he has seen lately on ladies of the certain age.

Of the course, for the outdoorsy women, the Manolo usually recommends adopting the costumes of the English countryside, which are both practical and attractive, although, there is the danger of looking as if you were preparing to muck out the stables.

Here is Heidi from Kamik, the reasonably priced, yet attractive rain boot that will having you looking good in jeans and the sweater.