Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve finally been promoted to detective after almost a decade as a patrol officer and I need some shoes. While I’m obviously happy to be rid of those clunky, black cop shoes, I’m stumped as to what would look good with the stylish pantsuits I would like to wear. The regulations specify “professional, closed-toe shoes, with heels no greater than two inches high.” Please help.

Kathy

Manolo says, ayyyy! You will be like Angie Dickinson, going undercover in the hot pants and go-go boots to bust the ring of white slavers!

Or, perhaps not. The new version of the police lady life, as shown on the network television, seems to involve less of the fist fighting, and more of the science. One minute, you are flirting shamelessly with the very witty Simon Baker, and the next you are poking the decomposing corpse with the spoon.

Or perhaps not. From what the Manolo has heard, the actuality of being the copwoman in the real world is more mundane, involving overbearing bureaucracy, bad coffee at strange hours, and close contact with reprehensible peoples who do not look like this week’s celebrity guest villain.

Still, despite the fact that your boss looks more like the Ernest Borgnine than the Mark Harmon, there must be great satisfaction in knowing that you are performing the necessary and important job for society, protecting the weak and unwary from harm.

Here is the Kaplan Pump from the Elie Tahari, the sharp looking business shoe that will keep the evil-doers quaking in their much less attractive boots.

Manolo says, it is Monday, and your long family nightmare is over…the children have returned to school!

Indeed, it is the most wonderful time of the year!

Celebrate with beautiful shoes….

Today, while your young ones are schlumping dejectedly throgh the halls of the Dr. John T. Grabble Charter School for Exceptionally Amazing Gifted Children, you will be kicking up your heels in these Claudette Suede and Snake-Print Peep-Toe Ankle Boots from the Elie Tahari, your reward for the long, long summer.

Manolo says, earlier today, while the Manolo was sitting in his usual cafe, enjoying the kir royale and the most beautiful spring afternoon, he could not but help notice two young women nearby who were wearing the shorty skirts and the Uggs.

“Please,” bethought the Manolo, “you are both 27. You should not be dressing as if you were waiting for the Justin Beiber tickets. And it is spring, which is not the season for the Uggs!”

“So, Mr. Dandified Smartypants,” retorted the girls in the mind of the Manolo, “what should we be wearing?”

“Beautiful spring wedges from the Elie Tahari!”

The Robin Wedge.

The Rita Wedge.

The Alicia Wedge

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

Can you recommend some sexy shoes for Valentines Day? Something that will make my husband of ten years sit up and take notice?

Janice

Manolo says, the Day of San Valentine’s, it approaches! And woe be to the man who does not sit up and take the notice!

The wheels of womanly justice grind exceedingly fine, and the man who fails to make proper obeisance at the shrine of romance will be doomed to have it brought up to him, yea unto the seventh generation.

Thus, the Manolo says to the men folk, unleash your inner Fabio!

No, this does not mean to grow your hair long and go about the house with your pirate shirt undone to the navel.

In the stead, it means that you must act as if you were the brutishly sensitive hero on the cover of the novel of romanticness, one who would, on the way to consensually ravish the maiden, stop off at the florist for the bouquet of roses and the extra large box of the Russell Stover’s chocolate.

Of the course, if the lady is dressed in the proper romantic novel fashion, which the Manolo would describe with the phrase “the stays on the corset are popping loose”, the man will not even notice if she is wearing the shoes.

Here is the Olympia Sandal from Elie Tahari, the shoe with the subtly romantic sexiness that will make you feel like one of Barbara Cartland’s more wanton heroines.

Manolo says, if you are looking for the good quality, handsome, equestrian-style boot from the designer the Manolo admires, than you could not do much better than the Edita from the Elie Tahari.

Nor could you get it at the better bargain: $150 off of the regular price, the savings of more than 30%!

Manolo says, whatever the Lola wants, the Lola gets!

This is that rare sort of cage sandal that actually captivates!

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

Your recent column in which you mentioned the trend for barefoot brides and bridesmaids has struck a chord with me. My son is getting married in May, to a wonderful if somewhat quirky girl. Not only are they going to be married out of doors, at a friend’s farm in Northern Virginia, but the entire wedding party will be barefooted. I would rather not be barefooted, as I grew up on a farm and know a thing or two about them. My dress will be a simple linen shift in a pale blue, please suggest some shoes appropriate for the clothes and setting.

Angie.

Manolo says, the Manolo’s friend is right to be apprehensive about her son getting married with the bare feets, in the Appalachian foothills, out by the hog troughs. (And here the Manolo will forebear to make the jokes about chittlin canapés and moonshine toasts given by the best man.)

In fact, the Manolo is at the stage now where he applauds any young couple who opt out of the mega-marriage madness, events that can consume many tens of thousands of dollars in unnecessary wedding folderol. Better the smaller, good-humored celebration filled with love, family, and friends. Such joys cannot be purchased at any price.

Here is the Carmella Wedge from Elie Tahari, understated and elegantly casual.

Manolo says, perhaps it is time for the Manolo to revive the Gallery of the Horrors…

These are not just the simple Birkenstocks-which-have-mated-with-stilettos-thus-violating-all-that-is-holy , but rather the pleather Birkenstocks-meets-the-stilettos, and not just made-from-faux-leather Birken-stilettos, but also the $625 fake leather, mutant Birken-heels.

Meanwhile, back on planet Earth, $625 American dollars can get you these….

The Jimmy Choo Suave Satin Sandals, with almost enough change left over to buy these…

The Elie Tahari Carlise flat sandals.

Of the course, the Manolo would never object to paying this much for beautiful shoes. But for ugly shoes which pay homage to the crunchy granola shoes for pretentious peasants, and which are made of petroleum by-products? Never!

Via the New York Daily News

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve been surprised to see that gladiator sandals continue to be trendy, long after one would have thought that they would have gone out of style. In fact, I confess that I’m now powerfullly tempted to get some for myself. So here’s my question: are gladiator sandals appropriate for a woman of “certain age, “ and if so, what would you recommend?

Gloria

Manolo says, the Manolo is also surprised that the sandals of the gladiators contiue to be fashionable long after the empire waist of the previous seasons had declined and fell.

But such is the state of the world in which we now find ourselves; fashion retailers avoid taking risks on unproven items by selling subtle variations of the previous seasons’ winners, just as consumers are more concerned with getting their money’s worth out of costly items, thus wearing things longer than would have been usual in our recent and richer past.

As for whether or not adult women can wear the gladiator sandals, the Manolo says yes, but only with some careful thought. One should avoid pairing the full-out knee-length gladiator sandals with drapery, lest one look like Cato the Elder denoucing Carthagenian aggression from the floor of the Senate.

For best effect, ladies of the certain age should perhaps wear sandals that are more evocative of the Ancient world rather than literal. Here from Elie Tahari is the Ava Sandal in the gold metallic leather. More Diana, Mistress of the Hunt, than Russell Crowe, Mister of the Colosseum.

Manolo says, it is Spring! And what could be springier than frivolously fantastic sparkly pink thong sandals from Elie Tahari?

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk working feverishly to complete the latest onerous task placed upon you by your supervisor, Mr. Rummelkin, The Official Boss From Hell, the micro-managing, 5’3″ tall, churlishly malignant, tooth ache of the man.

Yes, you are the big girl, you know that relations between management and labor are not always easy, and indeed you have had other bosses in the past who were less than pleasant to work for: The Shouter, The Underminer, and The Ditherer, individuals who had risen to their Peter Principle level of incompetency, and from which they exercised their flawed authority.

And, yet, Mr. Rummelkin puts them all to shame in terms of pure evil. He is the smoothly manipulative master of manufactured rumor and artificial chaos, ruling his domain like the Ottoman vizier, through subterfuge, misdirection, and calculated verbal brutality. He runs the very deep, very complicated game.

Of the course, what makes his reign of terror all the more galling is that he is completely competent, earning nothing but accolades from the higher ups, even as those who work for him are cowed into submission by his malevolence.

You would have quit his dominion many weeks ago, when it first became obvious that Mr. Rummelkin did not care for you. But, it is the same old story, you need the money, and the job pays well, and you’re good at it, even if your boss fails to acknowledge that. And you like and respect the other peoples your office, especially Jane, the English Girl, who never fails to make you laugh with her wry observations and offhand EastEnder witticisms.

“Oy, look a ‘em, Rumplestiltskining about, like he go’ a secret spinning wheel in his office,” is now your all-time favorite saying in the entire world.

Rumplestiltskining about! Genius!

So, here it is Monday afternoon, and Mr. Rummelkin has set you to yet another impossible task, spinning straw into gold, or some such, and you look up from your desk and at the end of the hall is the giant commotion.

It is Jane, running toward you as fast as her chubby legs can go, and she is smiling like the mad woman.

“Love, such wonderful news! They’ve given Rumpy the sack. Caugh’ him putting his naughty bits into the overnight charwoman, they did!!!”

And when you pass that preposterous statement through your English-to-English translator you realize that those many, many novenas were not said in vain.

Time to celebrate! With beautiful boots, like The Romy from Elie Tahari.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My husband has just gotten the dream job of a lifetime, an assignment that literally puts him at the top of the heap. So now we’re going to celebrate with a giant party in January when the new job officially starts. This party will be a dressy affair, with tons of important people, toasts, dancing, dining, a real blowout. What would you recommend in the way of shoes? I’m thinking of wearing gown by Narciso Rodriguez.

Michelle

Manolo says, ayyyy! Congratulations on your husband’s great success! Undoubtedly you played the major role in bringing him to the place where his sterling qualities could be noticed, and are thus yourself the woman of considerable abilities.

Naturally, you will wish to shine on this most important evening, putting your best feets forward and stepping out in elegance and style.

Of the course, you should also not ignore the symbolism of the moment, which is why the Manolo would recommend pairing your Narciso Rodriguez frock with the shoes of Elie Tahari. Two super fantastic American designers who are immigrant children from disparate backgrounds, what better way to celebrate the diversity of this great land?

Much depends upon the color of your gown, but here is the beautiful and bejeweled strappy Elie Tahari sandal in the color anthracite.