Unfortunately, this year, yet again, you were out on the day that the vacation roster was passed around in your office, and when you returned the only days that were left were in late August, after the school had started. And when you complained about this to the the Big Boss Man, Mr. Slorthnig, you were offered the two weeks in early June, before the school had ended.
Happily, with the little jiggery-pokery involving swapping days with two other members of the staff, Ditzy Daisy and Jimbo Simpson, it all worked out in the end, and you were able to take off one week at the end of July and the part of the second at the beginning of October, the remainder of the days to be traded to the Cleveland office for the late round draft pick.
Still, such solutions do not make for the happy you, for now you must work until the late Thursday afternoon, and will thus be unable to make it upstate to the in-laws lake house in time for their giant, annual, Fourth of The July Spectacular, featuring the bootleg South Carolina fireworks and the homemade rum punch. (Your husband and son are especially unhappy, both having planned on this year blowing something up real good.)
Worse of all, you will now be forced to attend your local fireworks display, put on by the well-meaning but underfunded Kiwanis club, and attended by many peoples who would ordinarily be at home watching the Maury Povich Show and cooking meth in the 2-liter soda bottle. But, such are the sacrifices you are willing to make for colorful explosions and the smell of cordite.
What is clearly needed now are some fireworks for the frets, and so here are the beautiful, silver, strappy flat sandals from the Viktor and Rolf!
And, look, they are on the sale! 50% off the usual price!]]>
As I have matured (I am now in my 40s) I have developed foot problems that hinder me from wearing cute shoes (& I don’t mean just heels, but cute flats as well). I am hoping you can recommend/help me find a pair of cute ballet flats (in a neutral summery color; perhaps something metallic) that can accommodate wide feet that need a lot of support (think bunions & arthritis) & will go well with skirts & tapered pants.
Manolo says, it is the same sad story, as one grows into the age of maturity, the infirmities begin to pile up, leaving us less and less capable of doing the things that we once did so effortlessly. When you were 23, you thought nothing of stuffing your feets into the too-small, hot-pink, stiletto-heeled pumps and spending hours of getting down to the boogie sounds at the disco.
Yes, the next day there were blisters aplenty, but they were the small and temporary price to you gladly paid, so happy to be young and out on the town.
But now that you are 43, your nights on the town are considerably less rambunctious. Certainly, you would be more than willing to cut the rug, if the rug was not so insistent on cutting you back, and so, instead of the disco round, it is the Ground Round and the latest Adam Sandler movie with your date Larry, the actuary who lives with his mother in the two-bedroom brick duplex in Bethesda, and whom you met on the internet forum for cat fanciers.
Here is the Varina ballerina from Salvatore Ferragamo, in the dusky gold, and available in the wider widths. This is the classic, well-ade shoe with the good structure and excellent support.
After four long years, and countless thousands of dollars, I’ve almost managed to graduate from college. Now, with two weeks left until the big day, I don’t know what shoes I should wear. A lot of girls go for high heels, but I’m afraid of falling on my face. What do you recommend?
Manolo says, ayyyyy! Many felicitous congratulations to all of the Manolo’s friends who are graduating this year from the various institutions (educational, religious, penal) in which they have been immured these many years.
To finally leave the school after so long is the alternately liberating and terrifying experience. Your days have been held captive to the calendar of education, your nights to the rituals of studying in the library and chugging from the kegs.
Now you must make your own way in the world, with nothing more than your double major in interpretive dance and French literature and the hearty good wishes of the people at the student loan guarantee agency to speed you on your way. But you are determined to succeed, and are certain that your internship at the Committee to Save the Himalayan Hummingbird has given you good experience in such in-demand fields as photocopying, envelope-stuffing, and frappuccino-fetching. Ayyyy! The world, it is indeed your oyster!
Look! Here is the Adeena from the B. Brian Atwood, the flat ankle-strap D’Orsay flat in the silver color with the perforated floral pattern which will help you stand out from the crowd.
Can you recommend a pair of office-suitable flats for the impoverished working girl who’s just started her first job?
Manolo says, as always the Manolo gives the same advice, to not purchase the cheap shoes of suffering and pain, made from the dubious petroleum-and-asbestos-based products that is advertised as being “leather-like”, but to save the moneys and invest them in the high quality shoes of great comfort and super fantasticness. For it is the well-known fact that beautiful shoes that are well-made and fit properly will make you stand up straighter and feel more confident, which will, in the turn, make your bosses recognize you as someone with whom to be reckoned.
And yet, how well the Manolo knows what it is like to be the impoverished young working person. Indeed, when the Manolo began his career in the shoe industry, so many years ago, as the eleven-year-old Second Assistant Shoeshine Boy in the shop of the Mercurio Albornoz y Bahamonde, he was paid in empty aluminum cans, lunchroom leftovers, and whatever spare change fell from the pockets of the customers. (Oh, you should have seen the magnificent scramble whenever the 100-peseta coin struck the ground!)
Thus, the Manolo sympathizes with his friends who find themselves working for The Man for wages that would not support the pigeon who lived rough in the park. Here is the Demi from Coach, the two-toned ballet flat which is on the sale for $99!
My husband and I are planning a trip to San Francisco and Sonoma County in late September. Between the must-see attractions in San Francisco and all of the wineries and breweries we’ll be visiting, I know we’ll be doing a lot of walking – can you recommend a comfortable shoe for the trip?
Manolo says, the Manolo cannot tell you how many questions he receives from the peoples who are travelling to the California to partake of the many and varied delights of the State of Goldeness. For the example, where else in the world can one snow ski in the morning and water surf in the afternoon?
Where else can one listen to the 23-year-old billionaires spouting hours of witless, tech-company start-up palaver in the morning, and then dine magnificently in the evening on the fresh, free-range, sustainable, Tomales Bay sea urchin roe, lightly seared in the peppery, Sonoma estate, small-batch, extra-super-extra virgin olive oil, served on the bed of Salinas County baby frisée endive and Napa hand-grown infant chervil, garnished lightly with the wild-harvested Tule Lake blue horseradish and South Lodi heirloom kumquats, accompanied by the soupçon of Humboldt County abalone foam?
Nowhere else in the world can one do that, nor would one wish to do that. In California all the old rules are out the window, to be replaced by that special California combination of radical casual familiarity and obtuse pomposity, served with the very nice bottles of wine.
Late September is the best time of the year to visit Northern California. The weather will be magnificent, and so the Manolo recommends the Ambre from Mephisto, the super comfortable flat sandal in the finish amusing called “Spice Perle Patent” to be worn with something California and flowy.
I’ve just read that all the cool kids are wearing Birkenstocks again. Is it wrong that I’m tempted to join them? Please advise.
Manolo says, this where the Manolo wishes that his computer keyboard had the Grumpy Cat key, which he could push whenever he needed the strongly worded “NO!” to appear on the page. Unfortunately, his computing machine does not have this very useful function, and thus he will have to make his opinions known by plain metaphor:
The Birkenstocks are to the other shoes what the haywagon drawn by donkeys wearing battered straw hats is to the Ferrari Testarossa, which is to say that if you do not mind looking like someone who should be driving the 19th century manure spreader to work each morning, then by all the means, wear the Birkenstocks.
Alternately, if you are the sort of person who enjoys having the people who buy all of their clothing at the Dollar General Factory Outlet Store look down their noses at your poor fashion sense, you should consider the Birkenstocks.
In the other words, if you regard your feet as hateful appendages worthy of being ridiculed by strangers, then the Birkenstocks are the shoe-like things for you.
The Manolo says, even though it is still roasting hot outside, it is now the Fall season of shopping, and thus if one can safely ignore the Birkenstocks for the next few months. With good fortune, by the spring of 2014, this mania will have subsided. In the meantime, here is the Sable from Belle by Sigerson Morrison, the versatile transitional flat that will take you into the new season.
Manolo, I agree that the FitFlop is an abomination, but what would you recommend by way of comfort shoes for just kicking around the farmers market on a Saturday morning?
The Manolo is the fan of the Ecco, as being the non-loathsome comfort shoe that would work well for the farmers market kicking. Indeed, he has recommended the Ecco shoes on several occasions in the past.
As for what he would recommend at this moment…
Here is the Biom Lite 1.3 from Ecco in the silver and purple, the techno-shoe the Manolo does not hate! Indeed, the Manolo finds it’s futuristic Maryjane-Jetson look to be both amusing and appealing.
This is the sort of shoe that begs to be worn with the yoga pants to the farmers market, where you will buy the half-dozen, $4-each, ersatz cronuts “for brunch on the patio”, three of which you will hurriedly eat by yourself in the front seat of your car while driving home.]]>
Manolo says, the Manolo has been hearing from many of his friends that he should take the FitFlop more seriously, that it is not the mere gimmick designed by the unscrupulous shoe trolls working on the “greater fool” theory, but the actual beneficial shoe-based magic (+2 boot of toning) produced by ancient wizards who live in the enchanted forests of Candyland.
“But, Manolo, the friends say, the FitFlops are soooooo comfortable.”
To which the Manolo replies, “so are the cardboard boxes filled with the goose feathers.”
“But Manolo, look at the Mozimo shoe store, they have many more styles than just the sandals. Take a look at these ballet pumps.”
“Perhaps,” answers the Manolo, “it is time for the Manolo to reemerge from his semi-retirement. It appears that his missionary work on the interwebs is not done.”
“Don’t you like it?”
“Like is such the strong word.”
“So, should I get myself a pair of FitFlops, Manolo?”
“Only if you regard your feet as the hateful appendages worthy of being shamed by whatever pieces of colorful flotsam are currently au courant.”
“Soooo, that’s a yes?”
I’m a brand new teacher of middle school students, so I need some comfortable, yet affordable and stylish shoes to wear to work. Please help.
Manolo says, oh how the Manolo admires the young, idealistic new teachers filled with hope and the indomitable spirit. They are so eager to get into the classroom and start teaching, so convinced that the World will be theirs for asking.
Unfortunately, the World has other plans for our new teacher, plans which mostly involve wrestling her into submission right after homeroom, giving her the noogie, and taking away her lunch money.
Yes, it is true, the World is both the poor student who never learns and the terrible bully who causes all sorts of trouble. Indeed, over and over again, the principal has sent letters home to the World’s parents . . . letters which went completely unanswered. And, who can forget that one time the school district suspended the World for his bad behavior? He just waited outside the gate of the schoolyard, glowering through the chainlink fence at everyone whom he felt had wronged him.
Happily, most of us who reach the age of the middle have learned how to manage with the World, but for the new teacher of middle schoolers, well, we can only wish her the best.
Here is the Katherine 3 from the Isaac Mizrahi New York, the cheery blue ballet flat suitable for the new teacher.
When I got up this morning, the weatherman was shouting about our big heat wave, which makes me think I want to move to Juneau, Alaska, or maybe buy myself some new sandals. Please advise
Manolo says, among the many things about the modern world of which the Manolo does not approve, the melodramatic hysteria of the broadcast weatherpeoples ranks just below the peoples in the seats in front of you who are texting commentary on the movie you are watching to the peoples who are sitting in the seats behind you.
Sadly, nowadays, our weatherpeoples announce the slightest increase in the temperature and humidity as if it were the existential crisis, instead of typical summer weather in the District of the Columbia.
Well, Kelley, you see here on the map, that over the weekend a widespread Mongol horde will move into the tri-state area from the east, bringing with it a pretty heavy concentration of looting and pillaging. Saturday afternoon we can expect the living to envy the dead. But by Sunday, things will quiet down, although look for pyramids of skulls appearing outside most the majors cities.
Looks like a rough weekend ahead, Biff. Hows it gonna be on Monday?
By Monday afternoon, the Mongols should have moved westward out of the area, trailing a string of captives, but you might still run into scattered raiding parties during the AM commute. So, pack a sword, just in case.
Look! It is the Mirelle from the Circus by Sam Edelman, the super cute beaded thong sandal that is perfect for the hot days in the big city.