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Manolo the Columnist: Kenna from ECCO

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

What would you recommend for a 33-year-old mother of four very rambunctious boys? I want something that’s sporty, but also is a little hipper and less matronly than tennis shoes.

Lindsay

Manolo says, what would the Manolo recommend? Boarding school!

Ha! The Manolo jokes!

Actually, seeing the young peoples with the large families always makes the Manolo happy, for they recall to him his own blissful childhood as the next-to-the-youngest of fourteen tatterdemalion gypsy children.

Such joy in numbers! Never did the teeny Manolo have to wait for his mother, Maria Jesus de Carmen, to arrange for him the “playdate” with the coddled child with the strangely Scottish first name, such as MacKenzie, or McIntosh, or McDuff. No, there was always someone available to kick the ball, or skip the rope, or catch the lizards and dress them in the little tin foil shoes which the Manolo had designed for them.

Of the course, the family of the Manolo was not rich. And more than once the fourteen children of the Maria Jesus de Carmen and the Gustavo went to bed without the meal. But such privations are nothing compared to the joy the Manolo experienced on those infrequent days when it was finally his turn to wear the family pair of shoes!

Manolo says, the driving moccasins should be the staple in the wardrobe of any stylish woman. Here is the Kenna driving moccasin from Ecco in the burnt orange color. It is also available in the seasonally appropriate “crispy white”.

Kenna from Ecco

Manolo the Columnist: Gigi from Sam Edelman

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I love most of your shoe recommendations, unfortunately, I can’t afford many of them, as I’m just a poor office drone. Can you suggest some inexpensive flat sandals I could wear on the weekends this summer?

Patricia

Manolo says, as is usually his custom, the Manolo recommends that the poor girls save their monies and purchase the best quality of super fantastic feetwear that they can afford, for such investments are repaid many times over in comfort, beauty and the satisfaction of wearing.

But, the Manolo also sympathizes with the poor working girls, who must work hard to pay the rent on the tiny, ninth-floor-walk-up, studio apartment in the grungy bohemian part of town, where all of the boys wear the too-skinny-jeans and ride the fixed-gear bicycles.

Indeed, the Manolo, himself, knows what it is like to be poor, so poor that you must fashion your own super fantastic flat sandals out of the Pabst Blue Ribbon cans and pieces of oversized hipster eyeglasses you have found in the dumpster behind that ironically iconic (iconically ironic?) dive bar.

And so the Manolo would recommend to you the Gigi from the Sam Edelman as being the simple but good-looking, moderately priced flat sandal for your summer wearing needs. It is available in fifteen different colors and materials, from “spicy orange” to “silver boa”, although the Manolo is partial to the “natural cork” finish. For the less adventurous, “saddle and black” would be the good choice.

Gigi from Sam Edelman

Manolo the Columnist: D Marine 1 from Geox

Dear Manolo-

I’ve been searching for a good airport shoe. Something that I can walk far in, that slips on and off easily, and one that I can wear socks with – shoe stores can pretend all they want, I know that panty hose do NOT form an impenetrable barrier against bacteria/fungi/gross foot stuff. It seems impossible to find a chic non-sneaker candidate. I either end up barefoot in the airport (ew) or wearing some incredibly ugly clog-type things (also ew) Can you help?

Jen

Manolo says, gone are the days of the Orient Express, when the travelers were politely ushered into luxurious accommodations and conveyed to distant and exotic lands at the leisurely pace,

Now, we are herded down the abattoir chutes like cattle headed for the slaughter, jammed into the metal tubes and flung aloft at tremendous speed, our lives forfeit to the technical competency of peoples we have never met.

In the modern world, being forced to take off the shoes is the least of the indignities we must endure, paling in comparison to the gross indignities of having the federal employees who are paid to do nothing but look at our nudie pictures and touch us in uncomfortable places.

Here is the D Marine 1 from Geox, the ballet flat that is exactly what is required, something comfortable, stylish, and easily removed when the authorities demand to see your toes. Available in black, dark beige, old rose, and the Manolo’s favorite color, smoke grey.

D Marine 1 from Geox

Manolo the Columnist: The Mojito from Bernardo

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m going to spend Memorial Day Weekend with my loveable, but slightly déclassé parents at, yes, the Jersey Shore. What I need is a pair of flat sandals, something fun that I can wear in a variety of situations. Please help.

Tina

Manolo says, the Jersey Shore! Thanks to the notorious television show of the same name, the Manolo imagines this mythical place where all of the men are comically muscled egoists, and all of the women surgically-enhanced bimbettes, and everyone is strangely tangerine-colored

And yet, the few times the Manolo, himself, has visited the Jersey Shore, he found it to be the mostly pleasant, family-oriented destination of Victorian homes and mini-golf courses.

But, such is the power of reality television, and its need to generate the dramatic situations by putting ambitious and energetically dysfunctional peoples into the close proximity, so as to watch the sparking fly. Which, now that the Manolo thinks about it, is pretty much exactly what happens in the Congress, which begs the question, why does the C-SPAN not have the better ratings?

Perhaps, as part of the Sweeps Week ratings stunt, if Snooki and the Situation swapped places with Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner.

If you consider it, does it seem so unlikely?

Look! Here is the Mojito from Bernardo in the platinum color. Shiny enough for J-Wow, but sophisticated enough for Madame Speaker!

Mojito from Bernardo

Cut it Out!

It looks like good ol’ Uncle Joey Gladstone from Full House was a prophetic with his iconic catch phrase.

One of this Summer’s hottest shoe trends is the cut out. A sexy silhouette that shows off all of the pretty patches of your tootsies (just make sure you slip into a pair post pedicure…Winter shoes can be a bit rough on a ladies heels), this trend is emerging in the form of platforms, wedges, stilettos…and now even in little black oxfords.

Minimarket Cut Out OxfordMinimarket Cut Out Oxford 2

I have been loving the cut out trend this season, and I think it transitions nicely to these classic staple shoes. These Minimarket Lace Up Cut Out Oxfords are on the more extreme end of the cut out silhouette, but I have to admit that I find them rather intriguing. The barely-there look is pretty playful and adventurous, which is a route I enjoy taking with my everyday shoes.  Nerdy Uncle Joey may have called it, but I think this trend is better suited for sexy Uncle Jesse. Have Mercy…

 

Manolo the Columnist: Idalia Splatter Fringe Thong Sandal from Dolce Vita

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My college roommate, who is going to Europe for all of July, is loaning me her Manhattan studio apartment while she’s gone. I haven’t spent much time in New York, so I want to do a lot of walking, but I also want to look good. What do you recommend?

Emily

Manolo says, Ayyy! New York in July! So romantic! The smells, the angry peoples, the sticky things stuck to the bottom of your shoes! It is like visiting Mumbai without the teeming masses of humanity. Everyone has gone to the Hamptons for the week leaving you alone with the street vendors and the hotdog carts.

Of the course, the best part is that you will have all of the museums to yourself, just you and the other tourists, gawping at the pictures and saying, sotto voce, “Jeff Koons, heh. I could do that.”

But, wait, you are not the tourist. For the month of July you are the local!

You have the temporary possession of the 91 square foot studio apartment in the Alphabet City, complete with micro refrigerator, hot plate, and pole onto which you can drape your clothing. Yes, your former roommate’s apartment can only be accessed through the crawl space that was once the coal chute, and rents for $1700 the month, but still, Manhattan!

New York, New York! The rents are up, and your apartment’s down, the hole. New York, New York! It is the hell of the town!

Here is the Idalia Splatter Fringe Thong Sandal from the Dolce Vita, the perfect flat sandal for those hot days in the big city.

Idalia Splatter Fringe Thong Sandal from Dolce Vita

Manolo the Columnist: Flower Shine from Kenneth Cole Reaction

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I can’t believe it’s already April and things here in the District of Columbia are blooming. It seems like just the other week that we were buried under yet another snowpocalypse. Can you recommend some fun, inexpensive sandals to help me welcome this new season?

Erica

Manolo says, the springtime is indisputably the bestest of all times to be in the Washington, D.C.

In the summer, it is both roastingly hot and insanely humid, setting in motion the rare meteorological phenomenon in which the water is simultaneously condensing on your skin and being boiled away. Essentially, you are being poached in your own juices, rendering you nice and tasty for the mosquitoes.

In the winter, the first snow is greeted by the city government as if it were the unexpected, icy fist of God. Let four inches accumulate, and you are living in the Siberian version of Mad Max, in which society collapses and insane people careen around the street in outlandish vehicles looking for petrol and cat food.

As for the fall, every other year it is the election season, and the less said about that period of utter madness the better.

But, in the spring, the weather turns soft, and the cherry trees, the greatest of all the Washington monuments, bloom. Everyone seems happy, and kindness and charity reign supreme. And on the first warm days, you and your co-workers and neighbors go for the long lunchtime strolls along the Mall, talking about how lucky you are to live in the greatest city in the world.

Here is the Flower Shine from the Kenneth Cole Reaction in the stone color, perfect for your walk beneath the blossoms.

Flower Shine from Kenneth Cole Reaction

Prada Red Leather Driving Loafers For the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, and already you have broken the first of your twenty dozen resolutions of the new year’s.

Last week, as you were enjoying the mug of brandy egg nog and gobbling the final bit of your Great Aunt Jemminy Cricket’s (née Jeanette Crick) most delicious and rum-intensive fruitcake, when you decided to write out the list of resolutions for the New Year.

By the time you were finished, following the third helping of the nog, your list had grown to nearly 200 items, and included such things as “write thank you notes that day,” and “a sock cannot go into a drawer until its match has been found.”

Strangely, you made it through January the 1st and the 2nd with your list intact, all the many resolutions unviolated.

But then, this morning, when you came into the office, you found that your bosses had used the last week to draw up their own list of resolutions, which included such things as “reorganize seating chart in cubicle farm,” and “require triplicate memos on TPS reports.” And, thus, within the first hour, you found your desk between to that of B.O. Bob (the nice man with the glandular problem) and the Chatty Cathy, the nattering nitwit niece of the company founder, to whom you must be polite because it is likely that she will eventually be promoted to the head of your division.

And then, just before the lunch, the second round of memos were delivered from the bosses, detailing changes in office procedure and individual work responsibilities.

Seconds later, you had violated your personal resolutions numbers 47 to 53, 72, 87, and 103, having to do principally with the taking of the Lord’s name in vain, the use of certain unpleasant words, the promise to think more kindly of various individuals, and to not email complaints about work to your husband, or post them to your facebook page.

Of the course, the two most important resolutions are still intact: the one to pay more attention to the humble blog of the Manolo, and the one to leave more comments on the beautiful shoes and funny pictures he shows you.

Look! Happy and practical patent leatherdriving moccasins from Prada!

Prada Red Patent Leather Driving Moccasin

The perfect sort of kicks to make the 2011 the happy and fun new year.

Holiday Shoes 2010: Crystal Bow Giuseppe Zanotti Flat Sandals

Giuseppe Zanotti Crystal Bow Flat Sandals

Manolo says, here are the gorgeous Giuseppe Zanotti flat sandals embellished with the crystal bows that will transforms your feets into the delicate present of great price, they will be as dainty box filled with expensive jewels, dangling from the highest branch of the tree.

Manolo the Columnist: Flash from Kate Spade New York

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo

Do you have any super fantastic holiday shoe suggestions for those of us who are very pregnant and are therefore having to stick with flats this year or risk falling into a snow bank?

Anne

Manolo dances,
All the pregnant ladies
All the pregnant ladies,

All the pregnant ladies,
All the pregnant ladies,

All the pregnant ladies,
Put your bellies up
Up in the air, you just threw up
Got the queasy stomach
Wear them flop flips, but now you bout to trip
Cuz another shoe failed you
You up on heels, but then you off
Throw them in the compactor
Cuz you cried your tears, it’s the end of the year
Can’t wear the barefeets

Cuz its Christmas and you gotta put some shoes on it
Feet are swollen and you gotta put some shoes on em.
Office party, so gotta put some shoes on it.
Feet are swollen and you gotta put some shoes on em.

Wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh

Look! Here are the super fantastic spangly flats, the Flash from the Kate Spade New York, the sort of shoes that will make you want to strut your swollen stuff.

Flash Flats from Kate Spade New York

Aurele from Beverly Feldman On the Sale!

Aurele from Beverly Feldman

Manolo says, here is the Aurele from Beverly Feldman. The kicky ballerina flat with the charming little flower details that Manolo thinks would look most excellent with the black trousers.

This is the sort of shoe the Manolo considers the “transitional shoe,” something that will take you smoothly from the late summer into the early fall in the fine style. And look! It is on the sale, reduced $70 of the American dollars from its usual price.

Glitter Brogues from Marc Jacobs

Glitter Brogues from Marc Jacobs

Manolo says, there is only one proper response to shoes this fabulous

Hand the Manolo down his walking cane…

“So much rhythm, grace and debonair from one man…”

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