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Magic Foot-Ensmallening Shoes from Gucci

I am not going to pretend I spend a lot of time worrying whether my feet look big.

I didn’t especially worry about it before, and now that I live in Mexico where the directions to my remote beach cottage involve, “turn left on the dirt road by the big pile of rocks onto the trail that looks like you could probably drive across it and turn right just before you hit sand. If you drive into a dolphin or other surprised marine creature, you’ve gone too far” whether my big feet do, in fact, look big usually gets pushed into the the “Bigger fish to fry” cavity of my sunbleached brain.

That being said, I do notice when a shoe makes my size 41’s look especially petite.

Enter the Viola from Gucci.

A few years ago during one especially torridly hot summer, I found a pair of bottle green silk velvet sandals in just this shape on practically obscene markdown at The Happiest Place on Earth, a.k.a, Neiman Marcus Last Call.

I’m pretty sure they’re Sergio Rossi and not Gucci –I’d check but they’re languishing somewhere in a storage facility stateside– but the moment I strapped them on, they made my Bob Terwilligers look like Tinkerbell toes.

They’re a festive party shoe, giving a bit of visual weight to anchor a cocktail dress without being full-on editorial.

Oh, and if you’re ever looking for a way to perk up your velvet shoes, set them in the steamiest part of your bathroom as you take a hot shower. Then rough up the nap with a shoebrush (an old toothbrush works too), let them cool a bit and brush the nap back into place.

 

 

 

Bette Slingback Platforms from Gucci For the Tuesday

It is Tuesday, and you are back at your place of employment, being gainfully employed, and for that you are thankful.

Thankful….ayyy! Look at the calendar! It is already the second week of November!

There is so much to do in the next two weeks. First you will have to order your free-range, humanely-dispatched, heirloom turkey from the butchers shop, you know, the shop with the hipster butchers who have the tattoos and the ironic handlebar mustaches.

Yes, these young butchers, who ride home each night on their fixed-gear bicycles, are generally well-intentioned, knowledgeable about the meats, and friendly, but still, you miss Stan, the old Polish butcher with the big belly and the twinkling eyes.

Things have not been the same since Stan sold out to these jackanapes and retired. Stan always had time for to flirt with the old ladies, and tell the little jokes, or to give you some beef neck bones for the dog. And the fresh kielbasa he made every Tuesday in the back of the shop was sublime.

These new people, they stock fancy Italian sausages, which they refer to by the pretentious term salume. But… the meat is still good, if more expensive, and you’ve developed the appreciation for the heritage breed animals.

So, you get out the phone and dial up shop to place your order, 15 pounds should be big enough, yes?

“Stanislaw’s Meats,” says the familiar voice on the other end.

“Stan? Stan is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Mrs. G.”

“I thought you retired, Stan.”

“Nah. I got bored sitting around the house. The missus yelling at me all the time. So, I come back to work.”

“Didn’t you sell the shop?”

“I did. I’m just here on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, helping out. These boys, they’re good butchers, Mrs. G., but they don’t know the first thing about sausage, so I’m making some kielbasa today.”

Ayyyy!

Let us give thanks for the small but vital pleasures of life, for good food and good people.

Speaking of the sublime things for which we should give thanks, shoes!

Gucci Bette Slingback Platform Sandals

Such as these Bette Suede and Mesh Slingback Platform Sandals from Gucci. And look, they are also available in the black, for evening wear.

Gucci Inga Strappy Ankle Boots for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk doing that thing that you do so as to earn that money that you need.

It is not that you dislike working for The Man, per se, for indeed your work is mostly not unpleasant, and the majorities of the peoples with whom you work are mostly somewhat not intolerable.

Yes, there are the exceptions, co-workers whom you believe need to be fired…out of the cannon…into the ocean, such as that officious and meddlesome woman in accounting, Harmony Voldemort, a.k.a. “She Who Must Not Be CC’d in Memos.”

It is strange, for although this dour woman, the mere “assistant clerk of accounting operations”, would appear to have no exalted title nor position, everyone in your office is deferential to her. Even your hard-charging, take-not-the-prisoners boss, Bob Gummidge, speaks to her in the most polite and civil tongue, occasionally even flirting with her(!), this despite the fact that she looks like the dyspeptic French bulldog, squat and jowly, with the half-lidded, vaguely mammalian eyes.

Of the course, this effort at forced civility always leaves Mr. Gummidge spent, you know this for the fact, because he locks himself in his office for the remainder of the day following one of Harmony’s visits.

Your own interactions with this bureaucratic gorgon have always been unpleasant: ranging from the simple elevator snubs, to brusquely offensive notes about picayune discrepancies on your expense reports, the wrangling over which can often delay the reimbursement for your business travel for the months and months.

And yet, throughout all of this, the actual source of this woman’s power remains mysterious.

“Oh, she’s in charge of something or other, expense accounts, I think,” says your best office pal, Julia.

“Yeah, but then why does Gummidge bow and scrape before her,” you reply, “I’ve been here nearly ten years, and as far as I can tell she’s never been promoted, she’s still in the same clerk’s job.”

“I heard that she was the one that got Jeff C. fired,” said Julia, referring to the cheerful and handsome young man who was briefly the best thing about going to the office. (Ahh, if only you had been twenty year younger, fifteen-pounds slimmer, and not married to Gary…but then, twenty years ago, Gary was not unlike Jeff C., all sunny and funny and young.)

“No way! Really? Why?”

“Sexual harassment,” interjects Deadpan Mike as he walks by your cubicle.

And you and Julia laugh and laugh at the idea! So ridiculous!

And then you both suddenly stop, as you realize that Harmony Voldemort has the very symmetrical features and the amazing bone structure underneath her middle-aged jowls, and as you both simultaneously recall those old rumors about the womanizing reputation of the ancient Old Man Jones, the Founder and CEO Emeritus, and how he supposedly had to give part of the company to some employee or other because of it.

Look! Gucci! Gucci!


Gucci Inga Strappy Ankle Boots

The Inga Strappy Leather Ankle Boots from Gucci

Manolo’s Super Fantastic Gifts for the Men!

Manolo says, and now, please allow the Manolo to recommend the few gifts for the menfolk in your life…

The Kindle

Above you see the Kindle electronic reader gizmo thingy from the Amazon. Frankly, the Manolo has had no personal experience with the Kindle thingy-gizmo, but, nonetheless, he is devoutly hoping that Santy Claus will bring him one, because it is cool, and he likes to read, and his shoulders hurt from carrying around the sack full of reference books and G.A Henty novels.

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Gucci Mens Boot

This chukka-ish men’s boot from the Gucci, it is swanky and yet perfectly masculine, and green!

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Red and Sky Blue Gresham Spot Woven Men's Tie

“What is this, ties?” you are perhaps saying, “Please, Manolo, do not insult us with your weak gift-fu.”

But wait, says the Manolo, at the Personally Thomas Pink you can customize your man’s tie, picking out the exact colors schemes that match his peculiar ruddy-pasty-swarthy-freckled complexion. This is the perfect gift, for not only do you have the pleasure of selecting the colors, but he will now have the tie that makes him look his best!

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Allen Cardigan from Jack Spade
The cardigan, it has never really gone out of style for certain pipe-smoking, den-dwelling, model-ship-in-the-bottle segments of the population, but now, it is back, baby, with the vengeance, and here is the Allen from Jack Spade.

What, your man will not wear the sweaters? Show him this picture above, and tell him it will make him look like one of the young Beach Boys, before the crazy and gurus.

Gucci Drew Patent Leather Sandals For the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk and noting that the frantic scramble to reserve the annual vacation times has already nearly passed you by.

Luckily, you managed to snag your customary dates of the second and third weeks of July, when you and Gary traditionally take the kids to the lake for two weeks of sunburn, poison ivy, and undercooked hamburgers.

Not so lucky was Jessica, the habitually crabby lady who works two cubicles over, who when she went to put her name on the roster discovered that Jeannie the New Girl had already taken the time period which Jessica has long viewed as her personal possession.

“Who does this girl think she is? I’ve been here seventeen years, and everyone knows that the first two weeks of June….” and so forth.

Worse, much worse, when Jessica the Crabby noted this “fact” to Jeannie the New Girl, Jeannie just shrugged her shoulders and walked away, leaving Jessica spluttering with rage.

Much, much, much worse, for the past week and the half, your work place has grown increasingly intolerable, as Jessica has launched the campaign of complaining, wheedling, whining and barely contained hostility against Jeannie the New Girl and anyone who would dare come to her defense, which, unfortunately, included you.

And now, today, the day is more than half done, and already you’ve had to endure Jessica’s passive-aggressive non-greetings in the coffee room, overhearing three very loud, one-sided telephonic conversations that Jessica supposedly had with her significant other about rearranging vacation dates, but which you suspect were really for your benefit, and the mysterious disappearance of your favorite red Swingline stapler (the birthday gift from Gary, signed by Stephen Root, himself).

Something will have to be done, like talking to the boss lady about this, and soon if you wish to make your working life more tolerable.

But first, you need to go to your happy place, and so you surf to the humble shoe blog of the Manolo, where there are funny things that will make you laugh, and pictures of beautiful shoes

Gucci Drew Patent Leather Sandals

Such as this striking Drew Patent Leather sandal from Gucci!

Ah, better already.

Gucci Sofia Pailettes Ankle Boots For the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday, and you are back at your desk furiously burning up the internet in your Cyber Monday quest to purchase as many of the bargain-priced gifts as possible. And it is all because, this year, as God is your witness, you will not wait until the last minute to do your shopping.

Still, your tendency to wait until the last minute is nothing compared to that of your brother, who famously does all of his shopping on Christmas Eve, usually after the normal stores have closed, at the Seven-Eleven or the Quik-Stop, which accounts for the many unusual gifts you and your children and parents have received over the years. (Indeed, who can forget the Christmas in which you unwrapped the brand new oil filter wrench? Or the Christmas in which your children received bags of Slim Jims and cans of the mint flavored snuff?)

Of the course, you suspect that this is one of the many reasons why your brother Bob remains unmarried well into his early forties. Yes, he has plenty of girlfriends, including the exotic dancer who accompanied him to your niece’s christening. She was the one with the shorty-short skirt with the handkerchief hem which very nearly exposed her lady-bits when she sat down. (Gary and your teenaged son still mention her “impressive rack” when they think you are out of ear-shot.)

Sigh.

Oh well, back to the shopping.

Ayyyy! Gucci! Gucci! Gucci!

Gucci Sofia Pailettes Ankle Boots   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Gucci! Gucci! Gucci!

Miscellaneous Wednesday Horrors

Manolo says, here are the few links that may perhaps appal you…

Sure, it’s cold out, but getting a pedicure is still a great way to pamper yourself.

I am NOT willing to believe is that these shoes are meant to be anything but a clever joke played by the designer on the rest of the foot-having world.

Immediately you feel the urge to lounge!

Manolo give thanks to his internet friends the Amy, the Linda, and the Wayne.

Gucci for the Blizzard

Gucci Womens Shoes Cruise 2006

Manolo says, what better way to celebrate the Great Blizzard of the ’06 than by fantasizing about the tropical places, and the beautiful shoes you would wear there?

Boots at the Gotham City

Manolo says, it is not the secret that the Manolo likes the Gotham City Online for the boot shopping. But, shopping at the Gotham City it is the sort of shopping that requires the diligence and perseverance.

Gucci Suede Boot     Manolo Likes!  Click!

For the example, this handsome, low-heel suede boot by the Gucci, it is on the sale at the Gotham City, but, sadly, it is only available in the sizes the five and the half, and the six.

And so, because you are not the small footed girl, you must now go back to the board of drawing and look for the next boot, perhaps again the equestriany boot with the low-heels, because they are this season in the style.

Searching…searching.

Look here is another of the handsome boots!
Ralph Lauren    Manolo Likes!   Click!

This one it is from the Ralph Lauren. It is the good-looking equestrian style boot with the twist, which it is good because you do not want the equestrian boot that makes you look like the jockey of the lawn. Even the better it is almost 50% off of the normal price.

But, ayyyy! Curses, again! It is available only in the size six. Your foot it is not the size six!

And so you search the boots again.
Gratia by Cole Haan    Manolo Likes!  Click!
Finally, you find this boot from the Cole Haan. It is the very nice boot, stylish, quasi-motorcyclish, quasi-equestrianish, nearly 50% off of the regular price, and Dios Mio! it is available in all of the sizes from the five to the ten! At the last, your search it is completed!

Manolo says, the Gotham City Online, it is the good place to look for the boots, if you are prepared to really look.