Manolo’s Shoe Blog

Manolo says, the Manolo has just discovered this series of somewhat amusing viral commercials for the British website that sells the odious Crocs.

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Manolo says, Ayyyyyy! The Manolo is frightened!

Frightened not by the fishy shape of this ugly, $1000 dollar shoe, but by the idea that the maestro Christian Louboutin could design such monstrosities.

When your attempt to be whimsical results the green python fish shoes that appear to be regurgitating the wearer’s toes, do not be surprised if others question your judgment and taste.

The Manolo would put this shoe into his Gallery of the Horrors, but he is too dispirited. He must now go lay down with the cold compress on his forehead.

Please discuss this among yourselves while he is gone.

P.S. Via the Manolo’s internet friends at the Fashion Police

Manolo says, here is yet another article on the rise of the consuming evil that is the Croc, this time from the Christian Science Monitor.

Foot comfort, apparently, appeals to a broad demographic. Fans include celebrity chef Mario Batali, actor Jack Nicholson, and country-music stars Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. Recently, President Bush was photographed sporting black Crocs, which he paired with black socks and shorts. In nations as diverse as Israel and Iceland, 1 in 4 people own a pair of the shoes.

The Crocs phenomenon is not purely a love-fest, however. Detractors abound, and they aren’t diplomatic with their diatribes. On Manolo’s Shoe Blog (http://shoeblogs.com/), Crocs are termed “the hot trend in footwear for the lazy person.” And on ihatecrocs.com, Vincenzo Ravina and Kate Leth devote an entire website “to the elimination of Crocs and those who think their excuses for wearing them are viable.”

Ask Mr. Ravina why he finds Crocs so objectionable, and then take a breath. “They are exceedingly ugly. They are chunky, luridly colored, perforated, and overall, an eyesore,” he replies. “They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs.”

Ravina, a college student from Halifax, Nova Scotia, scoffs at testaments to the comfort of Crocs. “My bathrobe is comfortable,” he says. “But I don’t wear it to the supermarket. You have to respect other people’s aesthetic.”

[…]

Even in Boulder, where you can buy Crocs at the grocery store along with celery and soy milk, there’s something of a backlash. “I don’t have any friends who wear Crocs,” says Rachel Losowski, a style-conscious senior at the University of Colorado. “They’re just really bad. Really weird.” As for claims to their comfort, she winces. “When I go out, I want to look nice, not comfortable,” she says.

Once, she was out with friends and saw an attractive male heading her way. Then she spotted Crocs on his feet. “I said to him, ‘I thought you were cute, but then I saw your shoes!’ ” she says, laughing.

Well done, Ms. Losowski!

This ridicule and scorn are exactly what the Manolo has begun to advocating as the proper response to the wearing of the Crocs.

Join the Manolo in speaking out against this abomination. Do not let your friends buy these shoes, and shun anyone who dares wear them on the street. Our greatest weapon is social pressure which much be applied liberally and forcefully.

It so sad that it has come to this point, and yet, the Manolo fears that we have not yet plumbed the depths of this depravity.

Manolo says, yes, these are exactly what the appear to be, the death of civilization as we know it.

Formerly, one could take comfort in the fact that the odious Crocs could not be worn in the depths of winter. Now, with the introduction of the fake-fur-lined Crocs, such bare solace is gone.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend Linda for alerting him to this abomination.

Manolo says, little baby children, such as the Violet Affleck seen above, may wear the Crocs. However, if you are the fully grown person you should avoid these ridiculous and childish rubber monstrosities.

“But Manolo,” cry the infantile, the misguided, and the willfully perverse, “the Crocs, they are so comfortable”.

Manolo answers, “so are the cardboard boxes filled with the combination of styrofoam packing peanuts and Vaseline.”

And just as the sensible person knows not to submerge their feets into such things, no matter how pleasant it may seem, so too does the sensible person know to avoid the Crocs.”

Manolo says, as the Croc empire of evil attempts to impose its hegemonisitic desires upon the citizens of the world, the the tiny-but-valiant anti-Croc resistance struggles under the oppressive rubber heel fighting for all that is stylish and holy. Look, here is one of the Manolo’s comrades-in-arms, the Marcelle D’Argy Smith fighting the good fight in the Daily Mail.

If there is one thing, in my view, which is guaranteed to drive a woman screaming in the other direction, it is the sight of a man who should know better sporting a luridly technicolour pair of shoes which would look far more suitable on a four-year-old girl.

The damn things look like clumsy rubbery clogs with large perforations.

They’re called Crocs because they resemble a reptile’s snout.

Seductive, eh? And yet six million pairs have been sold around the world already. We are drowning in Crocs.

You may understand the quirky nature of Mr Nicholson - but what about the other ten million pairs of Crocs they’re projected to sell this year? Not all of those people can be ramblers, fisherman and ageing beach bums, surely?

I was just listening to Ella Fitzgerald singing Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered and sighing at the line “I’ll worship the trousers that cling to him”. I then tried to imagine the trousers of a man I loved, teamed with orange or bright-blue Croc shoes.

Go on. You try it. Torture yourself at the thought of the man in your life succumbing to this massive manipulation marketing-gonemad Crocs trend. There’s no telling with an Englishman: he might even wear brown socks with his orange Crocs. You’ll leave him,

Crocs of course. No woman could be expected to live with that.

[…]

Perhaps it’s because wearing them makes them feel about 12 again - you know, when they went on that shrimping holiday to Devon and wore those foul beige jelly sandals.

Now, hey presto, with a mortgage and two kids, they can spend £30 and feel as though they are the coolest cats in town all over again.

Yes, the marketeers have done their work. “They’re comfortable; they’re cheap,” they bleat. May they rot in Croc hell. In fact, I find the thought of a middle-aged man wearing them so repulsive that I’m almost prepared to march on this one.

Hell is too good for the likes of the Crocs manufacturers, Comrade D’Argy Smith, too good, indeed.

Manolo says, below is the reason why you do not purchase the cheap Chinese-made flip-flops from from the Wal-Mart.

Hi all! For those of you who don’t know, I used to work at Walmart for a short time, but quit

Before I quit though I did buy a pair of cheepie flip flops to wear over a weekend trip to the beach, Long Boat Key April 20th to be exact.

I actually got the stupid shoes in Aprill with a picture in mind then in June I wore them a few times.

Well, after wearing them my feet would be red and sort of tingly, but I figured that it was just because it was first flip flops of the year so my feet need to get used to them. Blabity blabity… Well I have now had what appears to be a chemical burn for 11 days, (As of July 3rd) I really thought it would just go away on it’s own. It is absolutely not going away very well at all…this started on

June 22nd 2007 and has just gotten worse basically. I have only worn those shoes 15 minutes here, half an hour there, hour there…and so on, NOT enough time to burn my feet like this!

Please, go now and look at what the cheap shoes can do to your feets, but first allow the Manolo to warn you that the pictures are not pleasant.

Let this be the cautionary tale about the perils of the cheap shoes.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friends the Rachel and the Lucia who sent the Manolo the link.

Manolo says, Jack Nicholson wears Crocs!

Manolo says, it is not often that the Manolo comes across the shoe image that is so unpleasant that he says “ick” in disgust, however, such is the case with this “Killer Heels” shoe ad.

Happily, the Manolo is not the only person who feels uneasy about this ad.

This print advertisement for promoting products of NMA attracted considerable opposition in Britain. The advertisement is showing a large black stiletto-heeled shoe, running through on the metal heel was the body of a man and the heel was in a pool of blood. The punch line of the advertisement said, ‘Killer heels by NMA’ and it was published in leading newspapers of Britain. The complainants alleged that, since the advertisement promoted and trivialized violence, particularly against men. The complaints also accused the advertisement for being offensive and sexist and unsuitable for use.

The advertisers argued that the advertisement was a visual witticism on the expression ‘Killer Heels’ and was extremely inventive to make it stand out from other fashion advertisements. They further contended that, to avoid causing offence, they had created the advertisement to appear like a cartoon by showing a heel, which was out of proportion to the size of the man and was unrealistically ‘’spearing’ the man.