OCT
2007
10

Advertising That Repulses

Manolo says, this creeps the Manolo out, and makes him wish to avoid the Museum of Contemporary Art in Sydney.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s friend Karl for sending this most disturbing image.

OCT
2007
08

At Some Point They Become Stilts

Platform Shoes Taken to Their Logical Extreme.

Manolo says, there is only one person who would wear such ridiculous feetwear.

Answer below the jump.

(more…)

SEP
2007
25

Rat Shoes! Fish Shoes!

Manolo says, the Manolo’s internet friend Wayne has alerted the Manolo to two pairs of the unusually life-like shoes…

Manolo says, perfect for the beach! And oddly preferable to the fishy Christian Louboutin monstrosities.

And the next shoes are not for the faint of heart..

(more…)

SEP
2007
18

Croc vs. Escalators, The Deadly Croc

Manolo says, many, many of the Manolo’s internet friends have been emailing him links to this story, about the hideous and deadly Crocs.

At rail stations and shopping malls around the world, reports are popping up of people, particularly young children, getting their toes caught in escalators. The one common theme seems to be the clunky soft-soled clogs known by the name of the most popular brand, Crocs.

[…]

In Japan, the government warned consumers last week that it has received 39 reports of sandals — mostly Crocs or similar products — getting stuck in escalators from late August through early September. Most of the reports appear to have involved small children, some as young as two years old.

Kazuo Motoya of Japan’s National Institute of Technology and Evaluation said children may have more escalator accidents in part because they “bounce around when they stand on escalators, instead of watching where they place their feet.”

In Singapore, a 2-year-old girl wearing rubber clogs — it’s unclear what brand — had her big toe completely ripped off in an escalator accident last year, according to local media reports.

And at the Atlanta airport, a 3-year-old boy wearing Crocs suffered a deep gash across the top of his toes in June. That was one of seven shoe entrapments at the airport since May 1, and all but two of them involved Crocs, said Roy Springer, operations manager for the company that runs the airport terminal.

Of the course, all of this is old news for the regular readers of the Manolo’s humble shoe blog. But it is good to finally see this danger being exposed to the wider world.

AUG
2007
31

Cause I Drinks a Bit

Manolo says, “Knew a man, Bojangles
And he danced for you
In worn-out shoes
With silver hair, a ragged shirt
And baggy pants, the old soft shoe”

AUG
2007
28

Crocs = Lumbering Slobs

Manolo says, the Manolo has just discovered this series of somewhat amusing viral commercials for the British website that sells the odious Crocs.

(more…)

Fishhead by Christian Louboutin

Pesce by Christian Louboutin    Manolo Emphatically Does Not Like    Do Not Click!

Manolo says, Ayyyyyy! The Manolo is frightened!

Frightened not by the fishy shape of this ugly, $1000 dollar shoe, but by the idea that the maestro Christian Louboutin could design such monstrosities.

When your attempt to be whimsical results the green python fish shoes that appear to be regurgitating the wearer’s toes, do not be surprised if others question your judgment and taste.

The Manolo would put this shoe into his Gallery of the Horrors, but he is too dispirited. He must now go lay down with the cold compress on his forehead.

Please discuss this among yourselves while he is gone.

P.S. Via the Manolo’s internet friends at the Fashion Police

AUG
2007
22

The Ugly Crocling

Manolo says, here is yet another article on the rise of the consuming evil that is the Croc, this time from the Christian Science Monitor.

Foot comfort, apparently, appeals to a broad demographic. Fans include celebrity chef Mario Batali, actor Jack Nicholson, and country-music stars Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. Recently, President Bush was photographed sporting black Crocs, which he paired with black socks and shorts. In nations as diverse as Israel and Iceland, 1 in 4 people own a pair of the shoes.

The Crocs phenomenon is not purely a love-fest, however. Detractors abound, and they aren’t diplomatic with their diatribes. On Manolo’s Shoe Blog (http://shoeblogs.com/), Crocs are termed “the hot trend in footwear for the lazy person.” And on ihatecrocs.com, Vincenzo Ravina and Kate Leth devote an entire website “to the elimination of Crocs and those who think their excuses for wearing them are viable.”

Ask Mr. Ravina why he finds Crocs so objectionable, and then take a breath. “They are exceedingly ugly. They are chunky, luridly colored, perforated, and overall, an eyesore,” he replies. “They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs.”

Ravina, a college student from Halifax, Nova Scotia, scoffs at testaments to the comfort of Crocs. “My bathrobe is comfortable,” he says. “But I don’t wear it to the supermarket. You have to respect other people’s aesthetic.”

[…]

Even in Boulder, where you can buy Crocs at the grocery store along with celery and soy milk, there’s something of a backlash. “I don’t have any friends who wear Crocs,” says Rachel Losowski, a style-conscious senior at the University of Colorado. “They’re just really bad. Really weird.” As for claims to their comfort, she winces. “When I go out, I want to look nice, not comfortable,” she says.

Once, she was out with friends and saw an attractive male heading her way. Then she spotted Crocs on his feet. “I said to him, ‘I thought you were cute, but then I saw your shoes!’ ” she says, laughing.

Well done, Ms. Losowski!

This ridicule and scorn are exactly what the Manolo has begun to advocating as the proper response to the wearing of the Crocs.

Join the Manolo in speaking out against this abomination. Do not let your friends buy these shoes, and shun anyone who dares wear them on the street. Our greatest weapon is social pressure which much be applied liberally and forcefully.

It so sad that it has come to this point, and yet, the Manolo fears that we have not yet plumbed the depths of this depravity.

AUG
2007
17

The Crocs Mammoth

crocs_mammoth.jpgcrocs_mammoth1.jpg

Manolo says, yes, these are exactly what the appear to be, the death of civilization as we know it.

Formerly, one could take comfort in the fact that the odious Crocs could not be worn in the depths of winter. Now, with the introduction of the fake-fur-lined Crocs, such bare solace is gone.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend Linda for alerting him to this abomination.

JUL
2007
27

The Only People Who Should Be Wearing the Crocs

Violet Affleck in Crocs

Manolo says, little baby children, such as the Violet Affleck seen above, may wear the Crocs. However, if you are the fully grown person you should avoid these ridiculous and childish rubber monstrosities.

“But Manolo,” cry the infantile, the misguided, and the willfully perverse, “the Crocs, they are so comfortable”.

Manolo answers, “so are the cardboard boxes filled with the combination of styrofoam packing peanuts and Vaseline.”

And just as the sensible person knows not to submerge their feets into such things, no matter how pleasant it may seem, so too does the sensible person know to avoid the Crocs.”

JUL
2007
26

The Curse of the Crocs

Manolo says, as the Croc empire of evil attempts to impose its hegemonisitic desires upon the citizens of the world, the the tiny-but-valiant anti-Croc resistance struggles under the oppressive rubber heel fighting for all that is stylish and holy. Look, here is one of the Manolo’s comrades-in-arms, the Marcelle D’Argy Smith fighting the good fight in the Daily Mail.
Jack Nicholson looking stupid in Crocs

If there is one thing, in my view, which is guaranteed to drive a woman screaming in the other direction, it is the sight of a man who should know better sporting a luridly technicolour pair of shoes which would look far more suitable on a four-year-old girl.

The damn things look like clumsy rubbery clogs with large perforations.

They’re called Crocs because they resemble a reptile’s snout.

Seductive, eh? And yet six million pairs have been sold around the world already. We are drowning in Crocs.

You may understand the quirky nature of Mr Nicholson – but what about the other ten million pairs of Crocs they’re projected to sell this year? Not all of those people can be ramblers, fisherman and ageing beach bums, surely?

I was just listening to Ella Fitzgerald singing Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered and sighing at the line “I’ll worship the trousers that cling to him”. I then tried to imagine the trousers of a man I loved, teamed with orange or bright-blue Croc shoes.

Go on. You try it. Torture yourself at the thought of the man in your life succumbing to this massive manipulation marketing-gonemad Crocs trend. There’s no telling with an Englishman: he might even wear brown socks with his orange Crocs. You’ll leave him,

Crocs of course. No woman could be expected to live with that.

[…]

Perhaps it’s because wearing them makes them feel about 12 again – you know, when they went on that shrimping holiday to Devon and wore those foul beige jelly sandals.

Now, hey presto, with a mortgage and two kids, they can spend £30 and feel as though they are the coolest cats in town all over again.

Yes, the marketeers have done their work. “They’re comfortable; they’re cheap,” they bleat. May they rot in Croc hell. In fact, I find the thought of a middle-aged man wearing them so repulsive that I’m almost prepared to march on this one.

Hell is too good for the likes of the Crocs manufacturers, Comrade D’Argy Smith, too good, indeed.

JUL
2007
25

The Acidic Flip Flops of Doom!

flipflopsofdoom.jpg

Manolo says, below is the reason why you do not purchase the cheap Chinese-made flip-flops from from the Wal-Mart.

Hi all! For those of you who don’t know, I used to work at Walmart for a short time, but quit

Before I quit though I did buy a pair of cheepie flip flops to wear over a weekend trip to the beach, Long Boat Key April 20th to be exact.

I actually got the stupid shoes in Aprill with a picture in mind then in June I wore them a few times.

Well, after wearing them my feet would be red and sort of tingly, but I figured that it was just because it was first flip flops of the year so my feet need to get used to them. Blabity blabity… Well I have now had what appears to be a chemical burn for 11 days, (As of July 3rd) I really thought it would just go away on it’s own. It is absolutely not going away very well at all…this started on

June 22nd 2007 and has just gotten worse basically. I have only worn those shoes 15 minutes here, half an hour there, hour there…and so on, NOT enough time to burn my feet like this!

Please, go now and look at what the cheap shoes can do to your feets, but first allow the Manolo to warn you that the pictures are not pleasant.

Let this be the cautionary tale about the perils of the cheap shoes.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friends the Rachel and the Lucia who sent the Manolo the link.