Manolo says, it is Monday, and you are back piloting your desk into the familiar waters of corporate drudgery. But, such is the fate to which you have consigned yourself, certain in the knowledge that you are helping your family, even as you climb the ladder of career satisfaction.

Thankfully, the very computer that has enslaved you to it’s whims and emails, also delivers to you moderately humorous amusements to relieve the pressure, amusements such as the humble shoe blog of the Manolo where you will be able to ponder beautiful conundrums such as these shoes…

The Quaker Elaphe Snake Sandals from Jimmy Choo.

Quaker? What Quaker?

All of the Friends you know, like that prematurely gray-headed girl down at the health food store, would never wear these shoes, not in the million years. Indeed, these good people, who are ostentatiously, aggressively, humble in dress and manner, have the ability to make you feel guilty because you are not bicycling furiously to weekly social justice meetings where they will serve vegan ginger snaps and kambucha, and show slides about their community recycling efforts in Ecuador.

No, no, these shoes are only suitable for the more enthusiastic religious tradition, such as Semi-Reformed Long Island Russian Judaism, or Nouveau Riche Louisiana Pentecostalism, maybe Americanized Southern California Hinduism, or Nia Vardalos Greek Orthadoxism, the celebratory faith of the people who like to get dressed up and carry on expressively before God, like David in the linen ephod.

And then there is the whole problem of the Elaphe Snake. Who has heard of the elpahe snake? But the quick Googling reveals…

Well, at least that makes sense. Who wants to wear the black rat snake sandals?

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk working hard to insure that your family does not go without the latest cell phones, the newest laptops computers, and the new flat screen television in every room in the house (well, maybe not the three and the half bathrooms). Yes, you are leaving the house at seven-thirty every morning, and then trading away your precious time so that your family can distract itself to death, so that your teenagers can develop well-muscled, dexterous thumbs, and your husband can watch sporting events at any hour of the day.

Remember when you were the little kid and your uncles and aunts would sometimes get together at your grandparents’ house, where they would drink highballs and smoke cigarettes and entertain each other with funny stories and old songs?

Your relatives had these hilarious tales they would tell each other, properly embellished with wild gestures and perfect mimicry. Your Uncle Bill’s were the best. And even though all the cousins were racing around the yard, in and out of the house, playing various games, when Uncle Bill started talking about his time in the Army and his crazy friends, you sat right down on the floor and listened to him, because it was like the funniest episode of Sgt. Bilko ever made. Better even.

And now he is gone. And so are your grandparents, and Dad, and the few others you desperately miss.

But that is the nature of things. You get old and you miss how things used to be.

Sigh.

Perhaps you need to look at some pictures of beautiful shoes. Something simple, understated and elegant, something maybe your grandmother, who was the great beauty, would have worn when she was younger.

Something like these classic Jimmy Choo Lizard-Embossed Peep-Toe Mary Janes.

Beautiful!

Manolo says, perhaps it is time for the Manolo to revive the Gallery of the Horrors…

These are not just the simple Birkenstocks-which-have-mated-with-stilettos-thus-violating-all-that-is-holy , but rather the pleather Birkenstocks-meets-the-stilettos, and not just made-from-faux-leather Birken-stilettos, but also the $625 fake leather, mutant Birken-heels.

Meanwhile, back on planet Earth, $625 American dollars can get you these….

The Jimmy Choo Suave Satin Sandals, with almost enough change left over to buy these…

The Elie Tahari Carlise flat sandals.

Of the course, the Manolo would never object to paying this much for beautiful shoes. But for ugly shoes which pay homage to the crunchy granola shoes for pretentious peasants, and which are made of petroleum by-products? Never!

Via the New York Daily News

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk doing that thing that you do. It was the closely run thing, your making it to your place of work this morning. You are not feeling especially well at the moment, and are certain you are coming down with that hacking, sniffling, achy-breaky cold with which your spouse and children are afflicted. (Indeed, it is obviously going around, as even the Manolo has been felled by this late winter pestilence, and feels quite unwell as he types this missive to the world from his sickbed.)

But, you, on the other of the hands would not be stopped by the mere heavy-handed hint of approaching illness, not when there is the important project due at work, and not when staying home means yet one more day caring for the crotchety, cranky, demanding patients at home.

“Mooooooom, can you get me a glass of water.”

“Hon, can you bring me a bowl of soup.”

“Moooooom, my head hurts.”

“Hon, come feel my head. I think I’m feverish.”

“Mooooom, can you get me another blanket?”

“Hon, can you get the remote control to the TV, I’ve dropped in on the floor by the bed.”

You should probably be taking it easy at home on the couch, although you would be getting even less rest, but this morning you gulped down the giant glass of orange juice, and the fistful of over-the-counter medications, and homeopathic snake oils, and toddled off to work, your sinuses feeling like the burlap bag full of badgers.

What you need now is five seconds of looking at beautiful shoes, to soothe your nerves and distract you from your incipient headache.

Look here is the from the Zero Mirror Platform Sandal Jimmy Choo!

Ayyyy! Tonic for the body and soul!

Manolo says, the Manolo admits to having had the mostly blah reaction to the recent rise of the ankle-bootie-sandal trend. Perhaps this is because the Manolo had not yet seen these spectacular Jimmy Choo Embellished Ankle Wrap Sandals!

Are they shoes? Are they booties? Are they sandals? Who cares! They are gorgeously super fantastic!

Manolo says, it is Tuesday, and the party is over and you are back at your desk, and already you have broken one of your Resolutions of the New Year.

No, it was not the one about avoiding the doughnuts that the IT guys bring in every morning to share with the office (part of their calculated but hopeless policy of buying the love of their co-workers). No, thus far, two days in, you have kept away from your pastry frenemy, the cream-filled bismark. (Perhaps you should celebrate with the peanutty Payday bar from the vending machine?)

No, the resolution you have broken, which in the hindsight was perhaps not the wisest to make, was the one in which you resolved to gossip less.

You made it through yesterday gossip-less, but only because your best-friend-at-the-office, Julia, had been delayed returning from vacation because of the security turmoil at the airport.

But, there she was this morning, filled with news about the co-workers and the minor celebrities, and before you knew what was happening you were deeply embroiled in discussion about the various Kardashian trollops, and–Boom!—forty-five minutes of your life, and your boss’s time, down the drain. And all you have to show for it is the head filled with talk of Kim, Kourtney, and Khaaan (or whatever her name is), and the profound guilt you are experiencing about how you have betrayed the principles embodied in that Phi Beta Kappa key you keep discretely hidden in your purse.

Sigh.

Oh well, al least you know what can make you feel better…Shoes!

Look! It is the Nina Patent Sandal by Jimmy Choo

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post

Dear Manolo,

I’m a single lady of a certain age, who’s been invited by a gentleman to spend New Year’s Eve in his company, dining and dancing at one of Washington, D.C.’s better venues. My companion will be wearing a tuxedo, and I shall be wearing a dark blue ball gown. What do you suggest?

Karen

Manolo says, this sounds like the wonderfully elegant and timeless way to spend the Eve of the New Year, eating the lobster thermidor, drinking the bubbly from the glass slipper, and waltzing right up until the stroke of midnight, the way it used to be done.

Yes, in most cases, the Manolo appreciates the manifest conveniences of the modern world, such as painless dentistry, and super absorbent paper towels.

However, when it comes to celebrations, fancy occasions, and holidays of note, the people of the previous generations truly knew how to throw the party. And while there are the few holdouts (such as the Manolo’s friend Karen) who still do it right, most Americans have forgotten what New Year’s Eve should be like.

We have mislaid our sense of occasion, and now show up to weddings, funerals, and christenings, (to say nothing of the New Year’s Eve’s celebrations) in clothing our predecessors would have thought unsuited for hoboes.

Thus, for one night each year, we should resolve to get dressed up like the old-timey movie stars, and party like it is 1949.

Look! Here from Jimmy Choo, is the Logan Glittery d’Orsay Pump, in the appropriately celebratory champagne color.

Manolo says, the Manolo is not certain why these magnificent Jimmy Choo shoes should be called the “biker sandals”. Perhaps it is the golden studs, which make these sufficiently tough-girlish to meet the rhetorical requirements.

However, it is the opinion of the Manolo that the better name would be the Jimmy Choo Super Fantastic Turkey Day Thanksgiving Sandals!

Manolo says, the Manolo has long and loudly campaigned against the phoney-baloney fake shoes (even those produced by supposedly reputable companies), but recently the brazenness of the counterfeit shoe crooks has been too much.

Thankfully, the word is getting around, and today there is the article in the New York Daily News about this very topic.

Killer Louboutin heels with that signature red sole for just $177, delivered to your door at 80% less than the $860 retail price.

Strappy Jimmy Choo sandals at $143.99, 64% less than the $395.99 value at the label’s Fifth Ave. store.

Such are the boasts of flashy Web sites featuring red-carpet shots of J.Lo, Sarah Jessica Parker and Cameron Diaz in the wildly glamorous shoes. [...]

It seems too good to be true – and it is.

Tens of thousands of online shoppers are falling for the latest variety of fakes flooding the Internet.

Despite ultra-convincing pictures and claims that the Web sites are run directly by the designers and the footwear is individually crafted in Europe, it’s a scam.

The goods are neither handmade nor exclusive. They are mass-produced in China.

The “leather” often smells of toxic chemicals, the “hand-stitching” is replicated by sewing machine, and the sizing is inaccurate.

Return the purchase and, on top of the cost of shipping, customers are subject to a “restocking” fee of up to 20%. Little wonder most swallow the disappointment and don’t bother to send them back.

If disappointment were the only result of the fraud, it wouldn’t make headlines. Who really cares about image-obsessed fashionistas being ripped off?

On closer examination, however, this international con has a devastating and far-reaching effect.

Child labor, money laundering, prostitution and terrorist activity go hand in hand with the counterfeit trade managed by criminal gangs.

For several months now, the Manolo has been waging the war against these evil people both in his comment section (where they spam the comments with their links) and in his banner ads (where their ads are delivered to his websites by Google Adsense). With effort, he has been able to keep them at bay.

Remember, when buying the luxury good, only do business with the reputable companies, either those with whom you are already familiar, or those who have been recommended to you by people you trust.

P.S. Thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend the Susan at the always informative Counterfeit Chic.

Manolo says, the Manolo has been feeling the little bit under the weather, down with the small, niggling lung infection that has sapped his strength and made him wheezy.

Of the course, the best cure for such illness (aside from antibiotics) is shoes on the sale, such as these marvelous Jimmy Choo green patent sandals.

Nearly 60% off of the regular price!.

Manolo says, here is the most desirable Jimmy Choo patent leather slingback sandal for your Monday evening enjoyment. This is the sort of classic shoe that reminds one that simple elegance is frequently better.

Manolo says, it is the Eve of the New Year, and so you are allowed to wear something outrageous and over the top, such as these fabulous golden metallic python pumps from the Jimmy Choo.

What is that you are saying?

Golden shoes will not go with what you are wearing tonight?

In that case allow the Manolo to suggest to you this…

The elegant Jimmy Choo satin slingbacks.