Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I am defending my dissertation next month. In other words, I’ll be on my feet for two hours undergoing the academic version of the Spanish Inquisition! I need a beautiful, professional shoe with a WHOLE lot of support. Can you recommend something that will help me feel confident, yet comfortable?

Harmony

Manolo says, Huzzah! The triumphant culmination of your twenty-five years of education approaches!

And to think, all it took was seven years of living on ramen noodles, stomach acid, and library paste. That, and the massive student loans that will only be eradicated by the violent act of God, such as the meteor strike or the sun going super nova.

Of the course, there is one minor teeny detail that must be taken care of before you can join the rest of the underemployed adjuncts down at the hobo jungle: your dissertation defense!

Yes, these things are supposed to be the semi-formality, the friendly gathering of fond professors ushering their prize student into the academic afterlife. But then you remember that Professor X will be there. Professor X, the sworn enemy of your advisor, the person who has publicly vowed to see your beloved Dr. Sweetheart “burn in the fiery pits of Hades, tormented for all eternity by vengeful demons” (Who knew people could get so worked up about Emily Dickinson?)

Ah, well, at least you will have the handsome and comfortable shoes, because you will be wearing the Karolina from Kate Spade, in the beautiful camel tan patent finish.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo

Recent times have not been good to me in the love/life department and I’ve decided it’s time to brush myself off and start anew. I have a summer of many events coming up and would like to look superfabulous to turn the boys heads. I’ve never put the investment into a particularly fabulous shoe and I’m wondering if you have any suggestions.

Katie

Manolo says, many of the Manolo’s friends are under the misapprehension that young men pay attention to the shoes of the young ladies.

This is not the case.

Unless the young man is the shoe fetishist, or the differently persuaded fancy lad (who would in no case be interested in you romantically) it is unlikely that any young man would even notice your shoes. Indeed, asked to choose good shoes for their girlfriends, most young men would pick the red plastic stripper shoes, with the lucite platforms, and the six inch spike heels.

And, yet the beautiful, sexy, super fantastic shoes are vitally important, because when you wear the beautiful shoes you feel better about yourself, more confident and self-assured. You stand taller and walk straighter, which is exactly what the boys do respond to. In the other words, most men cannot distinguish between the t-strap and the ankle-strap and yet, if your beautiful shoes make you feel more beautiful, you will be more beautiful to others.

Here is the Cage from Kate Spade, the sexy, sophisticated sandals guaranteed to make you feel good about yourself.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m getting married in two months to the best guy in the world, pretty much my Prince Charming. Thus far, all of the wedding planning has gone as smoothly as possible except for one thing: I’m 6’1” tall, exactly one half inch taller than my husband-to-be. I have no problem wearing heels when we’re together, and he likes it that I’m tall, so normally I wouldn’t consider not wearing heels. But, for my wedding, I don’t want to tower over him by three inches. Please recommend a pair of fabulous low-heeled wedding shoes.

Mona

Manolo says, the Manolo wishes that tall girls would no longer worry about this sort of thing. However, the Manolo also knows that weddings are the dramatically artificial events in which, like the land of Disney, stressed out people labor mightily, in secret, to make every detail conform to the fairy tale.

Because of this desire for aesthetic perfection, slovenly couch potatoes, both male and female, are forcibly scrubbed, trimmed and coifed all over, dressed in the fancy clothes and then prodded to remain upright and standing for nearly one whole hour,

Likewise, tall women are required to wear low-heeled shoes so that the men appear sufficiently manly and the women sufficiently girly. (As the aside, why does the Manolo never receive frantic missives from short grooms looking for fashionable elevator shoes?)

Look, here is the kitten heeled Evie from Kate Spade, available in virginal white, or the slightly-fallen-angel ivory.

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, working in the coal mine, going down, down, down. Well, perhaps it is not exactly that bad, but you know, now that spring has sprung you wish you could be outside, sniffing the flowers and watching the bunnies frolic in the meadow.

But, what can you do? You must trade your time and honest efforts for someone else’s moneys

And, besides, it is not as if you know how to use your own time so well.

Indeed, you just had two whole days away from your place of employment, and so is it your boss’s fault that you spent it sitting on the couch watching NCAA basketball and doing the laundry?

Sigh.

Oh, to live in Candyland, where every day is bright with color and filled sweet treats!

Look! Here is the Izzie from Kate Spade.

If cutesy-wootsy lady bugs cannot lift your spirits, you are beyond the help of the Manolo

Manolo says, the Manolo needed to see something beautiful and sparkly today, something that was not merely fantastical but also wearable. Hence, the Biana from Kate Spade.

Manolo says, ankle strap flats, they are in the style this season!

Flat Ankle-Strap Sandals from Marc by Marc Jacobs Very charming, yes?

The Illia from Kate Spade. Sort of semi-gladiator-ish, but not really.

Thong Flat Ankle Strap Sandals from Giuseppe Zanotti. This one is the favorites of the Manolo, as the color is perfect for virtually any of your outfits, and is something you could wear until the very start of fall.

Manolo says, and so you need to go to the fancy-pantsy Holiday Ball in which the gentlemen will be in their best suits and the ladies will be dressed like countesses in the old MGM comedy.

What to wear on the feets? The Giula from Kate Spade!

Beautiful, restrained, elegant shoes, with the exact right amount of the alluringly peeping toes.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My boyfriend and I have tickets to attend the Metropolitan Opera in December. We have very good seats, and I want to get dressed up, but I also don’t want to be cold or uncomfortable walking around New York on our way to and from the event. Do you have a suggestion for a pair of shoes that says “dress up” but also “winter”?

Elizabeth

Manolo says, how nice to see that there are young peoples who are still taking the interest in the opera! The Manolo had begun to believe that it was only the fogeys of oldness, such as himself, who still cared.

Of the course, one of the minor pleasures of aging is being able to complain about the cultural philistinism of the young peoples.

You know, sort of like, “These truculent whippersnappers racing their jalopies down to the drug-store and getting themselves all het up over that Bing Crosby on the jukebox, thinking Jolson isn’t good enough for them. Why it’s the end of western civilization, I tell you!”

Although, the first opera whippersnappers undoubtedly had their coachmen race their carriages down to the opera house, where they got all het up over Mozart, and thought Gregorian chant wasn’t good enough for them.

Look! Here is the Sebbie from Kate Spade. The elegant black suede pump with exactly the right about of understated ornamentation.

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, working like the dog, with all of the other ladies who do not lunch; with all of the ladies who do not have the luxury of sitting around on their heinies with their kaftans and turbans and fancy cigarette holders and their Japanese houseboys who bring them mid-morning high-balls while they talk on their princess telephones. No, no, you are with the ladies who are the productive members of society, who go off to their places of employment where their formerly delicate spirits are daily crushed beneath the boot-heel of the Man, impassive and odious in his disdain.

In short, you must work while others lounge upon their piles of unearned money!!!

And now, look at you, you are sitting at your desk, silently ranting like the street corner communist denouncing the Dictatorship of Capital!

Of the course, the real problem is not the ladies who lunch (whom you well know have not worn the turbans and kaftans since Auntie Mame was shouting “Life is the Feast, Suckas!”), but rather, the problem is that outside it is the most beauteous of late spring days; warm and fragrant with the scent of flowers and green leaves, betokening the simple joys of summer: languid strolls in the country, lemonade on the porch, and long evenings watching the fireflies flicker.

In short, the weather is nice and you are stuck in the office, yet again!!!

Oh, well, things could be much worse. You could be “funemployed“.

What you need now is to look at pictures of beauteous and impractical shoes; shoes that cannot be worn at the office, shoes that can only be enjoyed in the full light of the early summer’s day. Shoes like these flowery thong sandals, the Freda from Kate Spade.

They smell like begonias!

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I am in an existential crisis. At 40, I am about to be divorced, I am mother to a nearly 6-year-old son, and I am a lawyer. I need a pair of shoes that will lighten the stresses on my soul, that will feel ever-so-slightly frivolous to put on. I need fun shoes. I need a pair of shoes that I can wear with Capri pants to the playground, that will tell the other mothers that, even though I am an underpaid, overworked, single mother, I still rock in my soul.

Monica

Manolo says, ever since the Manolo wrote about the curative power of shoes the few weeks ago, he has been receiving letters such as this one. And, all because Dr. Manolo, consulting specialist in the medicine of the broken heart, refuses to put the sugar-coating on the bitter pills he prescribes. He tells it like it is, to wit, if you wish to wash that man right out of your hair, first you must go shoe shopping.

No time to wallow in self-pity, do as the Manolo’s friend Monica has done, and rush the patient to the nearest shoe sale, stat! Make way, people! This is the medical emergency! Can you not see that this woman needs shoes?

Here is the Vera from Kate Spade, the frivolously fantastic pom-pom skimmer in white tumbled leather, just in time for summer. Dr. Manolo says, take two of these and call your best friend in the morning to gloat.

Manolo says, the Manolo here is something to make your evenings merry, the Geo from Kate Spade, the holiday red strappy sandals with the exact correct amount of golden glee.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m a small town girl with big time dreams, who has just been given the job of a lifetime. The next eight weeks will be super demanding and I’ll be in the limelight a lot. All of my friends say I have a sort “sexy librarian” vibe. What would you recommend to make me seem a little more sophisticated and polished?

Sarah

Manolo says, congratulations on your recent success, clearly you are the woman to be reckoned with!

It is always the same with the small town girls who make it big; on the one of the hands, you wish to give yourself the making over so as to seem more fashionable, while on the other of the hands you do not want to lose that refreshing American naturalness which others recognize as the heart of your charm.

In the other words, how to be more Catherine Deneuve without sinking your Molly Brown.

Naturally, the Manolo suggests starting with the shoes. You must shed those pedestrian, low quality shoes and move up market with something truly super fantastic.

Look, here is the Karolina in black patent from Kate Spade, both super fantastic and all American!