Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk doing that thing that you do to make that money that you need to keep you from living beneath that bridge alongside the road.

“When did it become so difficult,” you ask yourself, perhaps rhetorically, “to eke out the living?”

And then you feel sorry for yourself, because all of your first-world problems are weighing you down:

For the example, you need the new washer and dryer, because the old set is seven years old, and does not feature the latest next generation, electronic time-delay cycle technology, which means that you must physically be present to push the button that turns on the actual washing machine, instead of setting it so that the cycle starts later, thus ending when you are around to put the clothes into the dryer. Without this magical 21st Century feature, you have to be there in person when the cycle ends to immediately put the clothes into the dryer, lest they acquire that moldy smell from sitting in the washer, damp.

And frankly, this morning you find this intolerable, mainly because you are catching the strange whiff of moldiness from your hair, which you dried this morning with the towel that had sat in the washer tub much of yesterday afternoon while you were at brunch.

Meanwhile, somewhere in southeast Asia, the woman who is exactly your age, to the day, squats by the muddy brown river, beating her family’s clothing on the large rock.

And, ayyyy! Look at how toned her upper arms are!

You would have to spend many hours at the gym to get that sexy arm definition, being hectored by the blonde airhead who directs the SculptZumYogaBo class.

And this thought has made you even more dolorous.

Look! Beautiful shoes!

The leather Prada crisscross platform sandals from the Fall 2012 collection.

It’s Tuesday, time to find out What Miss Plumcake is…

(more…)

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, suffering from the Olympic hangover.

Originally, you had the big plans for the weekend — go to the market of the farmers, ride your bike in the park, do the laundry– but then, on the Friday night, you started watching the opening ceremony, and you were hooked. The next thing you know, you were avidly watching skeet shooting. (Oh, that Kim Rhode!)

By Sunday night it was clear that the Olympic marathon did not refer to the footrace, but to your concentrated television viewing. Indeed, you had barely turned off the tube of the boobs, sitting there in your comfortable chair in your Olympic sweat pants, the Olympic-sized bowl of snacks in one hand, the tiny American flag in the other. (How you cheered yourself hoarse at the preliminary round of the men’s beach volleyball.)

This morning, when you roused yourself from your Olympic stupor, dragged yourself into the kitchen and caught up on the overnight Olympic news. Even now, in the background of your web browser, you have open several pages of Olympic news and results, and are furiously typing the angry comment to some nitwit who thinks that the American women’s heavy 8 rowing team will not triumph.

The Manolo suggests you take the little break and look at some gold medal shoes…

Ayyyy! It is the Larimore Metallic Cutout Platform Pump from Alicia + Olivia

Manolo says, the Manolo loves this platform sandal from the brilliant Tabitha Stevens for its playful details and bold shape. But he recognizes that it is perhaps not for everyone, thus the question: Would you wear it?

Manolo says, the Leaf Me Alone from the Charlotte Olympia is perfect for the Sunday in the park, or, perhaps, more properly, for sitting on the restaurant terrace while sipping the glass of the 2002 Cristal and looking at the park.

Manolo says, here is the pair of Alexander McQueen platform wedges with the all natural, organic-y, leather detail that pushes it out of the ordinary and into our cold, urban hearts.

Manolo asks, would you wear it?

Manolo says, today the summer officially arrives, and what could be more summery than these ridiculously cheerful and cheerfully ridiculous taffeta gingham platform sandals from the Miu Miu?

Too often are we required to wear serious clothing that conveys importance and sobriety. Too infrequently are we free to dress in ways that are expressive of joy.

It is summer, and we need the sort of happy-silly shoe that makes both the those who wear it and those who see it worn giddy with joy. Be joyful, wear happy shoes!

Manolo says, for some reason the Manolo has the cork platform sandals on the brain this afternoon. Perhaps it is the onset of the summery weather, that causes his thoughts to turn to such things, for the cork platform sandals bespeak of the summery good times, of the sun dresses, and the iced tea, and the picnics, and the hilarious watermelon-seed-spitting contests.

And so, here are three such sandals that the Manolo finds worth the wearing…

From the preppy stalwart Jack Rogers comes the Clare Wedge, the sort of limey greenish shoe that would look good at the relaxed garden party.

There is something about the shape of the flowers on the 45.744 Wedge from Gabor that makes the Manolo happy.

And if you are having the retro-summery feelings, you will need to have Ava from Kork-Ease, for nothing says cork platform like Kork-Ease.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo:

Now that the warmer weather is here, I’d love to start wearing sandals again–unfortunately, what’s stopping me is my very unattractive bunion. I need a cute, boho-style sandal that will hide this eyesore!

Paula

Manolo says, ayyyyy, it is the attack of the bunion, the reprehensible growth that can disfigure even the most aesthetically pleasing of feets.

Indeed, one day your feets are looking so svelte and ladylike and the next, it is as if some medieval peasant has shucked off her muddy hobnailed boots and revealed to the world her monstrous deformity, the writhing, throbbing, veiny growth that promises the swallow up entire villages, leave husbands widowered, and children orphaned.

Well, perhaps the Manolo has exaggerated for the effect.

But, still, to those unfortunates who have developed the bunions it certainly feels as your briefly youthful summer as the sandal-wearing, hotty-momma has reached its end, and henceforth it will be nothing for you but the sort of sensible orthopeadic shoes favored by aging nuns and stout, middle-school PE teachers who are forced to dress up for graduation.

Again, the Manolo has exaggerated.

Actually, bunions, although painful, are not the end of the world. Many very stylish, famous young women, such as Victoria Beckham, Anne Hathaway, Katie Holmes, and the super model Iman, are be-bunnioned, without seeming to affect their ability to show their feet in public.

Here is Halen from Vince Camuto, the hotty-mamma, espadrillish, platform sandal that will cover up your shame.

Manolo says, it is the day after Memorial Day and you are back at your desk, complaining to yourself about the system that requires you to be invisibly chained to your means of production.

Yes, you are fairly compensated for your mighty efforts on behalf of InEmTechCoCom, Inc, but still, humans were not meant to spend so much time engaged in concentrated labor.

Hard work was meant to be seasonal, during the planting and the harvesting, when we worked long hours in the fields. The rest of the time we should be free to collect pretty rocks from the mill stream, chase the fireflies, and swap tall tales with the old men of the village. We are creatures made for wholesome work and honest leisure, not beasts of burden to be lured with the paycheck carrot and whipped with the performance report stick.

On the upside, the modern economy allows us, if we are lucky, to purchase beautiful and impractical shoes such as these…

Sergio Rossi Platform Sandals, perfect for the summer months.

The Manolo predicts, in the future, when the robots have taken over, we will all be free to enjoy life without labor….or, perhaps, be exterminated like vermin. It is 50/50.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

At the end of June I’m going to Dubai for a business conference. For the meetings, I’m going to be in strict business attire, but afterwards, I plan on dressing up and hitting the malls and the restaurants. What I need is a pair of sandals that will look great for both shopping and dining out afterwards.

Andrea

Manolo says, what could be better than Dubai in the summer? Where the outside temperature at noon is 615 degrees, Celsius!

Ah, but inside the Dolce-Gabbana-Prada-Gucci-Tiffany mega store, where the richy-rich oil sheikhs pay for their purchases with suitcases of gold bullion, the air is conditioned down to the very lovely 72 degrees, American.

Indeed, who else but the oil sheikhs would build something in the desert as crazy-beautiful as the Ski Dubai, the giant indoor ski resort in the Mall of the Emirates, where the temperature is always just below freezing, and the bunny hill beckons.

Of the course, one must celebrate such ostentatious defiance of Mother Nature with beautiful shoes, although, buying the new shoes to go to Dubai is like building the indoor ski resort in Siberia. The shoe shopping in Dubai is perhaps the best in the world. Everything is available from the most humble sandals, through the best Louboutins, Zanottis, and Blahniks, and even the bespoke shoes can be ordered.

However, if you must have the shoes before you go, the Manolo suggests this DSquared2 platform sandal, the Gladiator Maine in the brick color.