Dear Manolo,

I was recently promoted to a fairly important job, one that requires I be presentable for the public and the press. Because I work in a place with long, long hallways, can you recommend a pair of shoes that will allow me to walk about comfortably while still looking professional?

Allison

Manolo says, oh how well the Manolo remembers that day at the shoe shop of the Mercurio Albornoz y Bahamonde when he was finally allowed to interact with the public.

The Manolo had begun his career in the backroom of the shop, as the Second Assistant to the Associate Boot Black, working diligently, ten hours each day, keeping the shoeshine rags in good order. But after only seven months of this hard work the Manolo was promoted to management, as the Sub-Director of Tissue Paper, responsible for helping the Director of the Boxing and Re-Boxing oversee the placement of the shoes into the boxes. It was in this role, that the Manolo finally encountered the customers.

Happily, the Manolo felt confident as he carried the bundles of fresh tissue paper to the stock boys in the front, because he knew that all of the customers were admiring the beautiful two-tone, black-and-white spectator oxfords that the Manolo wore on that first day in his new position.

Such is the power of handsome and appropriate shoes!

Look, here is the Camelia from the Taryn Rose, the smart, comfortable pump with the little flowery cutout details.

Dear Manolo,

Nola

Manolo says, the Manolo has often noted that, strangely, even the most staid lawyer can be driven mad by the glimpse of succulent toe flesh, which is why sandals have never been considered to be the proper business attire.

And yet, our young tax attorney, who is undoubtedly slaving away in the corporate salty-tear mines as the countdown to the infernal April 15th nears, will soon be needing something truly glorious — high-heeled, bejeweled, and open-toed — to celebrate her temporary release from bondage.

In the meantime, she must concentrate on rendering unto Caesar and the senior partners that which is due them, to be defined as 3000 billable hours the year. Because of this, she deserves the most beautiful, beautiful office shoes, so as to be the tiny daily consolation for her mighty labors.

Here is the Pargata Buckle-Toe Rafia Pump from the Maestro Manolo Blahnik, the perfect, super-sophisticated, summery shoe!

Dear Manolo,

This year, the whole family is going to New York to spend Easter with my in-laws, who are wonderfully sweet people, whom I adore. The one problem is that they go to a very traditional, fairly stuffy church. (I was raised in a more charismatic Protestant tradition, and we currently attend a church that encourages a come-as-you-are informality.) Can you recommend a shoe, something I can also wear with work clothes?

Elaine

Manolo says, Easter is one of the Manolo’s most favoritest times of the year. Spring has arrived in its fullest glory, heralded by birdsongs, and crowned in flowers. It is the season of joy and reconciliation, when the lion will lay down with the lamb, and the person in the three-piece suit will smile when he hands the church program to the bearded man in the novelty t-shirt and board shorts.

Easter is when we must put aside our differences and recognize what is most important; whether or not Coca-Cola is better than simple brown sugar for glazing the ham, or if it is best to start with the ears, or nibble
away slowly at the body so that only the chocolate bunny’s face remains, to be consumed at last only with the greatest remorse and pleasure.

Here is the Warhalla from the Sigerson Morrison, the handsome, classic, reserved mid-heel shoe that would look perfectly at home in either Westminster Cathedral or the offices of InTechTronCo, Inc.

Dear Manolo,

I will be attending the entire Wagner Ring Cycle in April at the Lincoln Center. Since we had to almost refinance our home in order to afford tickets that do not require high altitude acclimatization, I cannot afford new shoes for each performance. So I am looking for one pair of Wagner-worthy shoes. The other three pairs of shoes needed I will have to fashion from scraps of vintage breast-plates and horn.

Lenora

Manolo says, how to explain the Cycle of the Wagnerian Ring to the person who has never attended the entire thing in the single marathon week, except to note that it is at once horrifically enthralling and terribly corny.

How is it possible, the Manolo asks, that the Richard Wagner converted such ridiculous and bombastic source material – the Norse Gods are having the bad hair millennium – into the work of supreme affect?

It is the music! What else?

This music of Wagner, so stirring, so brilliant, so memorable, works the transformational magic on what is essentially the elevated flapdoodle, and thus the tangled soap opera story of the comic-book super hero is converted into the purest gold.

Plus, how can one resist the over-the-top spectacle of the handsome men being assailed by stout women in armor? It is like the candy; very chewy, very dense candy

Speaking of the candy, here is the Licorice Too from the Kate Spade, glittery perfection for the opera.

Dear Manolo,

I’m a teacher at an all-girls high school. I need a pair of low-key heels to wear to Prom, graduation and a family wedding this spring. Something that will not break the bank.

Kristen

Manolo says, oh, how the Manolo well remembers the night of the grand prom at his alma mater, Our Lady of the Flaming Spleen Country Day School (who motto is still “The Wrathful Word Turneth Away Evil”).

How could anyone forget Sister Assumpta, looking like Ernest Borgnine in the wimple, standing at one side of the gymnasium dance floor, armed with something like the lifeguard’s hook, the long pole with the crook on the end.

If, during the slow jam, the bodies of the couples drifted too closely together, or the hand of the boy slipped too far down the back of the girl, Sister Assumpta would make her presence known, using her shepherd’s crook to forcefully yank the pair of would-be lovers back to propriety.

Of the course, the Manolo never had any problems on that score, indeed, for the young Manolo the prom was less about the slow-dancing with the girls, and more about the sartorial splendor. Finally, the Manolo’s customary Neo-Edwardian morning coat, embroidered waistcoat, and spats had found the appreciative audience!

Look here is the Wystere from AK Anne Klein, the nude patent pump that will work well for the graduation and the wedding, and will not the bank break.

For the example, the grand nabobs at your office have recently seen fit to replace the old BunnOmatic coffee pot with the new, fancy-lad, single-serving pod machine which brews the perfect cup every time. The old way was fine, as long as you poured your cup from the pot in the first three minutes after it was produced. Later than that, the coffee tasted like the sludge scooped up from the floor of your brother’s garage. And now you must admit, that it is amazing what the good coffee can do for your mood at the place of the office.

Of the course, some of this natural enthusiasm for the fruit of the brown bean has been tempered by the overly bombastic manner in which the corporate panjandrums have introduced the improvement, with grandiloquent pronouncements and frequent reminders that ImInTech Corp “cares for its family of associates.”

This would not be so troublesome, except that over the past year nearly half the “family” has been “right-sized” out of existence, this while your CEO, Mr. Amenhotep, recently spent two millions of the dollars having the seats of his private jet reupholstered in crocodile and hippo leather.

But, at least you still have the job, and the coffee tastes all the sweeter for it.

Here is something else that will undoubtedly make your working day more pleasant…

Beautiful, glittery platform pumps from the Jerome Rousseau

Dear Manolo,

At the urging of a friend, I’m subjecting myself to a so-called “speed date”, where you spend five minutes each with twenty different people, trying to decide who you’d like to see a second time for a real date. My question, of course, is what shoes should I wear? I want to look confident but approachable, sexy but demurely so. Please help.

Shannon

Manolo says, the romance, it is not dead! It is only sleeping!

“So, what do you do,” asks the Shannon.

Number 1: “This and that,” says the pale man with the lank hair and incipient potbelly, “you know, the usual. Little of this, little of that. Whatever gets me by, eh?”

DING!

Number 8: “I work for a hedge fund,” says the handsome man with the beady eyes, “one that specializes in foreclosing on low-income residential properties in distress. I’m the one who makes sure that the deadbeats are tossed out into the street. Ha, ha, ha!”

DING!

Number 13: “Real estate, babay! Big money real estate!”

DING!

Number 17: “I owned the liquor store, with my cousin, Hamid. But, he is now in Guantanamo Bay.”

DING!

Number 20: “I’m a park ranger,” says the square-jawed fellow with the twinkling brown eyes, “It’s a good job. Gives me a lot of time to think, lots of time to work on my poetry. On the weekends, when I’m not running triathlons, I like to volunteer at an animal shelter.”

Ayyyy! Romance awakens from its slumber!

Here is the Glitter from the Kors by Michael Kors, the sexy-demure pump in the dark mushroom kid suede.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve finally been promoted to detective after almost a decade as a patrol officer and I need some shoes. While I’m obviously happy to be rid of those clunky, black cop shoes, I’m stumped as to what would look good with the stylish pantsuits I would like to wear. The regulations specify “professional, closed-toe shoes, with heels no greater than two inches high.” Please help.

Kathy

Manolo says, ayyyy! You will be like Angie Dickinson, going undercover in the hot pants and go-go boots to bust the ring of white slavers!

Or, perhaps not. The new version of the police lady life, as shown on the network television, seems to involve less of the fist fighting, and more of the science. One minute, you are flirting shamelessly with the very witty Simon Baker, and the next you are poking the decomposing corpse with the spoon.

Or perhaps not. From what the Manolo has heard, the actuality of being the copwoman in the real world is more mundane, involving overbearing bureaucracy, bad coffee at strange hours, and close contact with reprehensible peoples who do not look like this week’s celebrity guest villain.

Still, despite the fact that your boss looks more like the Ernest Borgnine than the Mark Harmon, there must be great satisfaction in knowing that you are performing the necessary and important job for society, protecting the weak and unwary from harm.

Here is the Kaplan Pump from the Elie Tahari, the sharp looking business shoe that will keep the evil-doers quaking in their much less attractive boots.

Dear Manolo,

My semi-serious boyfriend of five months, has asked me to come to his parents’ house for dinner on Christmas Day. I met them once before, and I don’t think it went so well, so I really want to make a good impression
this time. What do you suggest?

Jeannie

Manolo says, there are the reasons why the holidays are usually reckoned to be the most stressful time of the year. Not only must we get everyone the exactly perfect gift, and make every meal and every occasion festively wonderful, but we are frequently required to make nice with people who may not be especially fond of us.

And yet, this is for the best, is it not? It is good that we should attempt to be reconciled, one to another, during this most wonderful time of the year.

This is why the celebrations and the holidays are so important, because they are moments in which we can put aside our differences be drawn closer together as humans. And so, we must approach these events in the proper
spirit of charity and love, reminding ourselves that in doing so we are helping to make our relationships stronger.

Of the course, it helps if you have handsome shoes, shoe which impart confidence and make you seem like the person of quality. Here is the Spymid from Stuart Weitzman, the modest peep-toe pump in the color known as “Fire Quasar”.

This year, unlike many years in the past, you did much of your shopping in the week immediately after the festival of Thanksgiving, choosing to do most of your gift-getting on the line, thus avoiding the many hassles of the in-person shopping at the mall.

Frankly, although you appreciate the convenience, the ease of the modern shopping (browse, point, click, enter the information of the card of credit) actually seems to take some of the joyousness and meaning out of the season. Finding the exactly right gift for each person on your list is not supposed to be so easy!

Have you learned nothing from literature? Are you not supposed to sell your very hair to find your beloved husband the modern equivalent of the platinum watch fob chain?

But, then, through the magic of Google, you learn that the secondary market for used hair is not what it used to be. And besides, given your age, you will need all of the hair you can hang onto going forward.

Sigh.

Such are the problems of prosperity, that we now worry that our lives have become too easy to be meaningful.

All the Manolo can say is, don’t worry! Christmas is coming!

Look! Beautiful and elegant mid-heel D’Orsay pumps…

The Belinda from Salvatore Ferragamo!