Manolo says, these super fantastic Roberto Cavalli spider lady shoes would be absolutely perfect if you were the statuesque, raven-haired beauty, who wished to cause mayhem on the global level, perhaps by subjugating the Earth to the whims of General Zod.

But, only after you had the makeover that brought your wardrobe into the 21st century…

Girlfriend, those jodhpurs are doing your hips no favors. The Manolo is thinking the skin-tight catsuit for Ursa, black on black, with only these Cavalli shoes as accent.

Manolo says, here are the pair of tastefully embellished gray suede pumps from the Roberto Cavalli that the Manolo thinks would be perfect for autumnal soiree.

As always, the Manolo is surprised when Cavalli chooses restraint..

Mind you, you are not complaining about this, just working at the hectic pace, whistling softly, even as your mind wanders back to what had turned out to be the weekend to remember.

It had not started out that way, indeed, you had intended to work on your boss-appointed task on Saturday. But, the uncommon freedom of being the new empty-nesters seemed to inspire your man Larry, after 23 years of marriage, to treat the weekend as the opportunity for the impromptu “Honeymoon at Home”.

So, one minute, you are in the kitchen reading recipes for lemon pound cake, and he is on the sofa in the game room watching Ohio State and USC, and the next he is all over you, humming the Viva Viagra song, and nibbling on your ear. And it is not even halftime!

And now your back is achy from the kitchen floor, and the antique settee, and the chaise by the pool (Gawd, you hope the Tullys were not awake at 3AM), and the dining room table, but you do not care, no sireee, not one bit.

If you’d known this would be the result of taking your youngest away to college you would have considered sending them to boarding school many years earlier.

You know what you need, now…Cavalli!

Cavalli! Cavalli! Cavalli!

Over the top, sexy, beautiful, witchy, snakey, ridiculous, sublime, Cavalli!

Manolo says, this is the sort of Cavalli shoe the Manolo loves, flashy, dramatic, and all-together beautiful. And the price is not outrageous.

Why cannot all of the Cavalli shoes be like this?

Manolo says, this is the sort of atrocity that makes the Manolo waver between anger and despair, while the price leaves him gasping.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s shoe-obsessed friend Wayne.

Manolo says, in the past the Manolo has criticized Roberto Cavalli for his lack of restraint as the designer, but one could never say that Cavalli does not have the marvelous sense of humor. For what could be funnier/scarier than to appear dressed as Karl Lagerfeld?

Dear Manolo,

I know it’s the middle of August, but I’m finding myself daydreaming about what sort of boots I’ll wear this fall. Can you recommend a pair to fuel my fantasies.

Stephanie

Manolo says, daydreaming about the boots and the shoes of the coming fashion season? Ayyyy! You are describing what the Manolo spends most of his day doing, relaxing at the sidewalk café with the kir royale, while contemplating beautiful shoes in the eye of his mind,

It is clear to the Manolo that the Stephanie is the kindred spirit, for she has not let the oppressive heat and wilting humidity of the Washington summer prevent her from thinking about what she will wear in November.

Even better, she also knows that the daydreamings are reserved for only the most super fantastic of shoes, such as these marvelous soft leather boots from the Roberto Cavalli in the handsome burgundy color, with the crystals accents on the heels. Yes, these marvelous boots are exceedingly costly, over $1000 of the American dollars, but that does not matter, for the true beauty of the daydreams is that they are always perfectly and completely free.

Here you see the two pairs of shoes from the Roberto Cavalli, shoes which properly capture the Robert Cavalli aesthetic, which the Manolo might describe as “Long Island Russian Mafia Gun Moll”.

And yet, for all of that, the Manolo finds these shoes “almost”. Almost worth wearing. Almost beautiful. Almost super fantastic.

The problem is that the Manolo, who believes that true fashion lies on the border between the trashy and the classic, thinks that these shoes are located just across the fashionable border into the land of the trashy, which means these shoes are “almost”.

Of the course, this tendency to keep adding the junk to the shoes until they seem too much is not merely the major draw back of the Roberto Cavalli., it is also undoubtedly his greatest selling point, making his shoes perfectly suited for the flashy and unsophisticated market he has captured.

Do not get the Manolo wrong, the Roberto Cavalli is talented, it is just that he needs to be restrained.

Look here is the picture of the Cavalli at the Costume Institue Gala.

Clearly, this is not the celebrity endorsement which the more sensitive designer would be happy to have.

Update: The Manolo’s internet friend Nicole disagrees.

Manolo says, not just overpriced and ugly, but grotesquely so.

Manolo says, for the most of the part, the Manolo he does not find the shoes of the Roberto Cavalli to his taste. Yes, they are the favorites of the Hollywood crowd, but to the mind of the Manolo they are often too much over the top, and occasionally even ridiculous.

However, these boots of the Roberto Cavalli the Manolo he likes very much. Yes, they are somewhat fashion forward, with all of the strapping and the buckling, yet is there not also the tough girl chic in them?

And these they are the bargain! Over 50% off of the regular price, the savings of more than $450 of the American dollars!