Manolo the Columnist: Halen from Vince Cumuto

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo:

Now that the warmer weather is here, I’d love to start wearing sandals again–unfortunately, what’s stopping me is my very unattractive bunion. I need a cute, boho-style sandal that will hide this eyesore!


Manolo says, ayyyyy, it is the attack of the bunion, the reprehensible growth that can disfigure even the most aesthetically pleasing of feets.

Indeed, one day your feets are looking so svelte and ladylike and the next, it is as if some medieval peasant has shucked off her muddy hobnailed boots and revealed to the world her monstrous deformity, the writhing, throbbing, veiny growth that promises the swallow up entire villages, leave husbands widowered, and children orphaned.

Well, perhaps the Manolo has exaggerated for the effect.

But, still, to those unfortunates who have developed the bunions it certainly feels as your briefly youthful summer as the sandal-wearing, hotty-momma has reached its end, and henceforth it will be nothing for you but the sort of sensible orthopeadic shoes favored by aging nuns and stout, middle-school PE teachers who are forced to dress up for graduation.

Again, the Manolo has exaggerated.

Actually, bunions, although painful, are not the end of the world. Many very stylish, famous young women, such as Victoria Beckham, Anne Hathaway, Katie Holmes, and the super model Iman, are be-bunnioned, without seeming to affect their ability to show their feet in public.

Here is Halen from Vince Camuto, the hotty-mamma, espadrillish, platform sandal that will cover up your shame.

Halen from Vince Camuto


Ingrid Glitter Sandals from Jimmy Choo for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday, and you are back at your desk, where you have realized that your life is too complicated and hectic. It is always with the running, to the store, to the dry cleaners, to the PTO meetings, to the church, to the entertainment venues, to the this and to the that. Running, running, running, complicated, complex, running.

Oh, to have live the simple life of relaxation and quietude.

But, such is the fate of those who choose to live in the modern world.

Look! Simple, stunning shoes!

 Ingrid Glitter Sandals from Jimmy Choo

Ingrid Glitter Sandals from Jimmy Choo


Manolo the Columnist: Air Marcella Flat Sandal from Cole Haan

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My husband and I are ditching our DC Jobs, packing up our lives, and taking a year off to travel through Southeast Asia. It will be hot, probably messy, and we’ll be on our feet all day. And I will die if I am forced to wear Keens, Chacos, or other clunky sport utility sandal out of a lack of options that don’t sacrifice form for features. Are there cute, supportive, dare-I-dream even gladiator-y sandals for the REI-phobe packing heels in her backpack?


Manolo says, frankly, the Manolo does not fully understand the allure of the backpack travel.

“But, Manolo,” say the friends of the Manolo, “it is romantic and liberating. You can go where you want, when you want.”

To which the Manolo replies, “Yes, when you backpack you are free to travel like the wind, weighed down by nothing more than the ninety pounds of dirty laundry you are carrying on your back.”

Oh, how the Manolo wishes for the return of the civilized travel, when the people of gentle breeding were able to pack up several dozen changes of clothing, top hats, kid gloves, patent leather shoes, and spats into the steamer trunk.

Later, when we reached our destination, we would “rough it” by changing into our safari clothes while the native bearers carried the trunks to our first campsite, where the gin and tonics would be awaiting our arrival.

Now, instead of travelling like civilized peoples in barbarian lands, we travel like barbarians in civilized places.

Here is the Cole Haan Air Marcella Flat Sandal in black, the gladiator sandal with the comfort in mind.

Air Marcella Flat Sandal from Cole Haan

Sergio Rossi Platforms for the Day after the Memorial Day

Manolo says, it is the day after Memorial Day and you are back at your desk, complaining to yourself about the system that requires you to be invisibly chained to your means of production.

Yes, you are fairly compensated for your mighty efforts on behalf of InEmTechCoCom, Inc, but still, humans were not meant to spend so much time engaged in concentrated labor.

Hard work was meant to be seasonal, during the planting and the harvesting, when we worked long hours in the fields. The rest of the time we should be free to collect pretty rocks from the mill stream, chase the fireflies, and swap tall tales with the old men of the village. We are creatures made for wholesome work and honest leisure, not beasts of burden to be lured with the paycheck carrot and whipped with the performance report stick.

On the upside, the modern economy allows us, if we are lucky, to purchase beautiful and impractical shoes such as these…

Sergio Rossi Platform Sandals A41720

Sergio Rossi Platform Sandals, perfect for the summer months.

The Manolo predicts, in the future, when the robots have taken over, we will all be free to enjoy life without labor….or, perhaps, be exterminated like vermin. It is 50/50.


Manolo the Columnist: Gladiator Maine from DSquared2

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

At the end of June I’m going to Dubai for a business conference. For the meetings, I’m going to be in strict business attire, but afterwards, I plan on dressing up and hitting the malls and the restaurants. What I need is a pair of sandals that will look great for both shopping and dining out afterwards.


Manolo says, what could be better than Dubai in the summer? Where the outside temperature at noon is 615 degrees, Celsius!

Ah, but inside the Dolce-Gabbana-Prada-Gucci-Tiffany mega store, where the richy-rich oil sheikhs pay for their purchases with suitcases of gold bullion, the air is conditioned down to the very lovely 72 degrees, American.

Indeed, who else but the oil sheikhs would build something in the desert as crazy-beautiful as the Ski Dubai, the giant indoor ski resort in the Mall of the Emirates, where the temperature is always just below freezing, and the bunny hill beckons.

Of the course, one must celebrate such ostentatious defiance of Mother Nature with beautiful shoes, although, buying the new shoes to go to Dubai is like building the indoor ski resort in Siberia. The shoe shopping in Dubai is perhaps the best in the world. Everything is available from the most humble sandals, through the best Louboutins, Zanottis, and Blahniks, and even the bespoke shoes can be ordered.

However, if you must have the shoes before you go, the Manolo suggests this DSquared2 platform sandal, the Gladiator Maine in the brick color.

Gladiator Maine from DSquared2


Manolo the Columnist: Gwyneth from Sam Edelman

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve been invited to spend Memorial Day Weekend with my boyfriend’s family
in the Hamptons. The trouble is, I’m a poor working girl. Can you please
recommend some summery flat sandals that will look good enough to impress
these people without bankrupting me?


Manolo says, as always, the Manolo suggests saving your monies and buying the most super fantastic shoes one can afford, for such purchases will give the most satisfaction over the long term, in comfort, beauty, and admiration from those who know quality when they see it.

But the Manolo also sympathizes with the poor girls, who must work the double shifts at their dismal dreary jobs in the new media sweatshops, posting on the corporate blogs and twittering and facebooking all day long for the Man.

Indeed, the Manolo knows exactly what it is like to be poor, so poor that you must fashion your own super fantastic, impress-the-rich-people-in-the-Hamptons sandals out of strangely colored shells and tangled fishing line you have collected near the wastewater outlet pipe that discharges near the pier under which you are sleeping.

And so he would recommend that you Gwyneth from the Sam Edelman as being the moderately priced, cutely blingish flat sandals that will keep the people of the Hamptons moderately appeased.

Gwyneth from Sam Edelman


Manolo the Columnist: Nealla from Pour la Victoire

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

After four years of hard work, I’m finally graduating next week with a degree in Renaissance Studies. Happily, I have already managed to find a lovely job that starts three weeks after graduation. (Yeah me!) Can you recommend a pair of shoes for the graduation ceremony, something fun?


Manolo says, it is the time of the graduation, when the adult peoples don the ridiculous medieval gown and cap, and listen to the speeches about boldly seizing the future.

“Today, as you go forth from this place to boldly seize the future, remember what you have learned here in this institution, both in the classroom and out of it. Indeed, some of you will never forget what you learned just two weeks ago, during the aftermath of Fraternity Row’s Monster Spring Bash and Riot.

“And now, let me take a moment to give a special welcome to our official guests sitting among you in the audience, the sheriffs deputies, parole officers and bail bonds men, whose recent tireless efforts have made this joyous occasion possible.”

Ayyy! The life of the mind!

As for what shoes to wear, because your graduation outfit will be covered by the black gown of drabness, you will need something that “pops” as you walk across the stage, the statement shoes that that will help you boldly stride into the seizable future.

Here is the Nealla from Pour la Victoire in the bold lilac. It is also available in coral, and taupe for those who may be more timid.

Nealla from Pour la Victoire


Cadillac, Cadillac, Long and Dark, Shiny and Black

Prada Tail Fin Wedge SandalPrada Tail Fin Wedge Sandal

Manolo says, Ayyyy! it is the hot-rodding Prada Tail Fin Wedge sandals! Clearly our muse Miuccia has had the very specific influence: the 1959 Cadillac, with the bullet taillights!

1959 Cadillac Tail Fins, inspiration for Prada Shoes

The Apotheosis of Tail Fin!


Wide Sandals for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you have just spent the entire weekend looking for the Wide fitting shoes for your teenaged daughter, who although the otherwise tall, slim, delicate creature, has inexplicably taken after your husband in the matter of the feet size. She wears the American size 10 EEE, which although neither the biggest nor the widest, still makes her feel very self-conscious.

“Oh, cheer up, honey,” you said as you drove her to the West Woodfield Corner Galleria Center Mall, “I’ve heard that Paris Hilton wears a size eleven.”


Oh, how soon yesterday’s reality trash is taken out to the mental curb.

“Oh, no one. Hey, you know who else has really big feet? Uma Thurman.”


“Yes. She wears a size eleven, too.”

“Woah,” says your eleven-year-old son from the backseat, “those are HUGE feet, almost half the size of yours, Godzilla.”

“Shut up, Dorkwad,” replied your daughter, halfheartedly.

Sadly, your outing was unsuccessful. It is so difficult to find fun, girly shoes in the larger sizes that are not prohibitively expensive. (Although you said nothing to your daughter, you are worried that her feet are still growing!)

So, this morning as you sit at your desk, wading through the email announcements of unexpected lottery winnings and earnest requests to help the sons of deposed dictators launder money, you know that you must go to the internet to solve this problem.

Look! Here is the perfectly affordable pair of the flirty, fun, fuchsia, wide-fitting sandals.

Grazia Fuchsia Flower Sandal

Or, from the Joanna Hope, the EEE-sized, blingy toe-post sandals that are both cute and sufficiently girly.

Joanna Hope Toe Post Sandals

And so you send the text message to your precious little miss with the big feets, giving her the links so she can look at these sandals.

Five minutes later you get back the following message: “I <3 those. Their GR8!!!!" Success!


Super Miu Miu Starfish Tuesday!

Miu Miu Suede Starfish Sandals

Manolo says, here is something to brighten your day of laboring, the Miu Miu Suede Starfish Sandals.

And suddenly, just like that, you are transported to the shores of the Mediterranean Sea, to the charming little restaurant where the waiter named Aldo is bringing you the perfectly grilled prawns, with just the squeeze of lemon, which will go well with both the glass of local white wine, and that tall, sun-burnished man in the white shirt with the top two buttons open.


It is the Jossy for the Spring!

Jossy Sandal by Elie TahariJossy Sandal from Elie Tahari

Manolo says, here is the Jossy from the Elie Tahari, the fun, flirtatious, super-fantastic, low-heeled sandals that would be perfect for the warm afternoon of strolling through the carefully-tended botanic gardens. Choose your outfit correctly, smile demurely, and let the stray strand of hair fall over your forehead, and that hunky man who invited you may try to steal the sweet kiss behind the hydrangeas!


Dior Platform Sandals for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk working away for the Man, doing that which must be done so that you will not find yourself living in the culvert under the highway out by the dog pound.

Although, sometimes, you think that, compared to the daily grind, the life of the hobo might be preferable. How much easy life would be if it was just you, your battered top hat, your handkerchief bindle, and maybe the scruffy, little Benjy dog for the companion.

You would be the member of the Noble Brotherhood of the Open Road, enjoying rustic possum stew cooked in the old coffee can, shared with people named Stinky Phil, Ollie Jim, and Boxcar Pete. Such simple fellowship, with no bosses, no deadlines, no mortgage payments to worry about.

Unlimited freedom would be yours for the taking, as long as you could avoid the railroad bulls, and not get crushed by the errant grain car.

But, then you think about having to wear the comically down-at-the heels old boots instead of beautiful shoes, and you come to your senses.

Dior Chain-Embellished Tejus-Print Suede Platform Sandal in MelonDior Chain-Embellished Tejus-Print Suede Platform Sandal in Natural

Here is something to make you feel better about your workday, the Dior Chain-Embellished Tejus-Print Suede Platform Sandal.