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Manolo the Columnist: Aprelle from Ugg

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

In mid-November, I’m attending a wedding in Montreal. I’ve already got my shoes for the ceremony and the reception picked out, however, I need something both stylish and warm to wear around town, while I’m there. What do you suggest?

Meryl

Manolo says, the last time the Manolo visited Quebec, it was the few years ago, in the February, when the weather was clear, beautiful and freezingly cold, with the outside temperature hovering somewhere around seven thousand degrees below zero.

Of the course, this did not dissuade the Quebecois from racing their mobiles of snow through the woods at all hours of the day, wide-open throttle in one hand, semi-frozen Molsen beer in the other.

But such hardy outdoor pastimes are not for the Manolo. who, like the iguana, is the warm weather creature, one which prefers basking himself on the rock in the sun to having parts of his nose fall off from the icy bite of Señor Jack Frost.

But, to each his own, eh? Far be it from the Manolo to suggest that people who race snowmobiles and voluntarily eat the cheese-curd-gravy-and-french-fried dish known as poutine may in some way be slightly off.

Here is the Aprelle from Ugg, the wedge-heeled shearling boot that will keep you looking good and feeling warm until spring.

Aprelle from Ugg

Snooki’s Fashion Accessory: Attention

Following her incident with an Italian police car yesterday, nugget sized Snooki of deplorable MTV Jersey Shore “fame” was photographed today wearing a neck brace to accompany her hideous ensemble and unfortunately she couldn’t find one big enough to cover her entire face and body.

Snookie neck brace

Snooki and her co-star Deena got into a minor traffic accident on the streets of Florence, which shockingly according to police reports involved no alcohol. Snookie was apparently driving a vehicle (sitting on what I can only assume was a child’s booster seat, seeing as I find it hard to believe she could see above the steering wheel) and rear ended a police car in front of them that was escorting the talented and fame worthy celebrities to their filming destination. While there was no arrests made and the two suffered no injuries, Snookie decided to play it up today with the addition of a neck brace. BUT only for the cameras. Snookie reportedly removed the neck brace between takes, because I can only assume when you fake an injury it’s annoying to wear  supportive medical supplies.

Snookie removes neck brace

But let’s face it, the real crime here (other than the fact Snooki is in the public eye at all) are her fuzzy Ugg boots. They make her look like some sort of pudgy show poodle that desperately needs to be put down. The fact that those things are allowed to be sold and worn in public is a true tragedy. Not to mention the function of providing warmth is completely null and void seeing as it is currently warm in Italy! Wearing them isn’t even practical, thus, there is no excuse. If she is going to get away with a fender bender and causing minor injuries to two police officers, she at least needs to be arrested or fined for committing rape against my eyes.

The Ugg Shuffle

Manolo says, accept no substitutes, even for your ridiculous Ugg boots.

But medical experts have warned that the trend for cheap Ugg boots is a price too high to pay.

They have said that knock-off versions of the designer boots are crippling a generation of young women, ‘literally breaking’ their feet.

With just six months of wear women could saddle themselves with a lifetime of foot deformities, backache and pain in their feet.

And a phrase has even been coined for the gait of devoted wearers – the Ugg ‘shuffle’ – which describes the lopsided, pigeon-toed way in which cheap versions of the boots force women to walk.
[…]

But low-cost imitations often provide inadequate foot support.

With each step the wearer’s feet slide around. This can cause the feet to splay which flattens the foot arch and leads to wear and tear on the joints in the feet, knees, hips and back.

As a result leading podiatrist and chiropodists have seen a stark rise in the number of women suffering toe deformities, backache and pain in their feet.

It is so true!

One minute you are shambling along in your fake Uggs…

Paris Hilton Shuffling Along in Uggs

And the next…

(more…)

Manolo the Columnist: The Gissella from Ugg

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.


Dear Manolo,

At Christmas, I broke down and bought my 16-year-old daughter a pair of Classic Ugg boots, and now she wears them everywhere. And I have to admit, she looks super cute in them. Which has got me to thinking, perhaps I should buy myself a pair, they look so warm and toasty. What’s your opinion?

Rachel

Manolo says, the Manolo’s opinion of the Classic Ugg boot has always been the same: if you are sixteen and super cute, then the Classic Uggs are “da bomb”. You may wear them everywhere (even with your sweat pants) and people will still think you are the cutesy cute cutey.

If , however, you are the forty-two year old woman of sophistication, then the Classic Ugg boots look silly with almost everything you try on.

Sweat pants? Sloppy!

Faded blue jeans? Trying too hard!

Shortish skirt? Trashy!

The truth is, the Ugg Classic boots, like the dirty ripped blue jeans and the whale-tail thong, are the young person’s fashion. They were designed by the youthful Australian surfers for wearing after the energetically youthful day at the beach, not for women of the certain age to slip on for the day on the town.

Happily, there are the Ugg models which can be worn by elegant ladies. For the example, here is the Gissella, the casual, wedge-heel ankle boot with the Aussie flair.

Gissella from Ugg    Manolo Likes, Even Though it is the Ugg!  Click!