Dear Manolo,

My semi-serious boyfriend of five months, has asked me to come to his parents’ house for dinner on Christmas Day. I met them once before, and I don’t think it went so well, so I really want to make a good impression
this time. What do you suggest?

Jeannie

Manolo says, there are the reasons why the holidays are usually reckoned to be the most stressful time of the year. Not only must we get everyone the exactly perfect gift, and make every meal and every occasion festively wonderful, but we are frequently required to make nice with people who may not be especially fond of us.

And yet, this is for the best, is it not? It is good that we should attempt to be reconciled, one to another, during this most wonderful time of the year.

This is why the celebrations and the holidays are so important, because they are moments in which we can put aside our differences be drawn closer together as humans. And so, we must approach these events in the proper
spirit of charity and love, reminding ourselves that in doing so we are helping to make our relationships stronger.

Of the course, it helps if you have handsome shoes, shoe which impart confidence and make you seem like the person of quality. Here is the Spymid from Stuart Weitzman, the modest peep-toe pump in the color known as “Fire Quasar”.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve got Thanksgiving duties this year, which means I’ll be feeding the whole extended family, twenty-five people at least, maybe more. We like to dress up for the actual meal, and although I’ll be able to change at the last minute, I’ll still want comfortable (and traditional) shoes to wear during the feast. What do you recommend?

Marilyn

Manolo says, Ayyyyy! The Thanksgiving, it is barreling toward us like the runaway trainload of free-range, heirloom turkeys! And while many of us, like the Manolo, will fling ourselves from the track of tradition by planning the low-key events, involving Swanson turkey potpies and velveteen track suits, here is the inspirational woman who meets the challenge head on!

Our friend Marilyn is not content to whip up the massive festival of domestic poultry and cornbread stuffing, she is also determined to appear at the table as the fully-fledged adult.

Manolo says, this is how life is to be lived! With food and friends and family, joyous celebrations and homey traditions of great meaning. Too often, in our desire for comfortable casualness, we have forgotten that we show respect for ourselves and others and the occasion when we dress properly.

It is Thanksgiving, the day when we give thanks to Divine Providence that we live in the age of abundance. Thus, it is only fitting that we should dress and behave in the manner that honors our good fortune.

Here is the Svelt from Stuart Weitzman, the simple mid-heel pump in the lusciously autumnal color called “Fire Quasar”.

Dear Manolo,

I need help with a major wardrobe decision. Over the past year, I’ve lost nearly 80 pounds, and have finally reached my goal weight of 135. Naturally, I need an entirely new set of clothes. The weirdest thing, however, is that my feet have also shrunk, between a half and a full shoe size. They’ve even gotten narrower! So I need new shoes. I want something sexy and strappy and suitable for dancing the night away. Please help.

Lisa

Manolo says, the Manolo’s friend Lisa is to be congratulated on her accomplishment, as losing the unnecessary weight is truly one of the hardest things in the world to do.

Indeed, the Manolo, himself, has long struggled with his own poor genetics and powerful appetites. He was not blessed with the long, thin, elegant silhouette which has been the fashion in the West since the medieval times. Nor is the Manolo one of those people who can subsist on barley water and bran rusks, preferring in the stead, savory roasts and vegetables in the cream sauces.

And thus, if asked to describe his own current figure, the Manolo would answer, “somewhat thickish around the middle” (although the judges would also have accepted “Falstaffian”).

Sigh.

Thank goodness for the custom tailoring and the male foundation garments!

Look! Here is the Lightning from the Stuart Weitzman, the sexy sandal with which to dance away the night.

Dear Manolo,

At the end of July I’m going to a big deal wedding in Atlanta. I’ve already picked out my dress, a muted floral with a generally light peach tone, but now I need a pair of shoes to go with. What do you suggest?

Moncia

Manolo says, ayyyy! Hotlanta in July! Fiddle-dee-dee and thank goodness for the invention of the air conditioning!

And now the Manolo must admit that despite his many visits to the Atlanta he does not fully understand this city. On the one of the hands, Atlanta seems as Southern as Southern can be, at every turn celebrating it’s historic Southern heritage with as much enthusiasm as any place in America. Indeed, it is difficult to escape from the club of Gone-With-the Wind Southerness with which the city attempts to beat the unsuspecting visitor over the head.

And yet, on the other of the hands, whenever the Manolo visits Atlanta he seems to encounter only the transplanted Yankees and their progeny.

“We moved here from Boston in ’92, y’all” said the lady in Lennox Square Mall, “My brotha came down in ’94.”

And yet, on the third of the hands, Atlanta is indisputably the world-class city of entertainment and business, the home of Coca-Cola, CNN, and Elton John.

It is all so confusing.

Look! Here is the Whirl from the Stuart Weitzman, the strappy sandal in the oyster color that will allow your dress to shine in the Hotlanta sun.

While you are waiting for the Manolo to return, here is the pair of Stuart Weitzman platform sandals the Manolo saw on the feets of the Southern lady yesterday.

The preppy Southern espadrille, perfect for the Belle Meade ladies!

“A shoe is more than a shoe,” the designer Maud Frizon once rhapsodized. “It is movement and repose; it is human contact with the earth.”

Oh, those shoe designers. They do get a little carried away. What else could account for the giddy names they often bestow on their creations?

Not all of them, of course. As I explained in my previous post about shoe names, some shoe brands follow logical naming formulas, using the first letter of a shoe’s name to identify its last (the shape on which it’s built) or its season.

And then there are the other names. The crazy, wackaloon names that make a shoe shopper wonder aloud, “What were they smoking?”

Exhibit A: this lovely Spring 2011 style from Aquatalia by Marvin K, available in platinum calf or black patent leather, with a fetching zipper in the back. It’s called—for no earthly reason I can discern—Flubby.

I would have named it anything but Flubby

Dear Mr. Marvin K: Why? Surely you knew that “Flubby” was not a secret internal code but a name visible to every online shopper and many sharp-eyed store shoppers, too. What were you thinking? “Flabby”? “Flubber”? “To botch or bungle”?

This is not, by the way, Aquatalia’s first TNTSW (“They Named That Shoe What?!?”) moment. Consider Exhibit B, a tall, handsome boot from Fall 2009:

Me, I might have named this boot something horsey, like Derby or Gallop. But not Aquatalia by Marvin K. Nope, they named the boot Smirk.

Now, a boot like this one might make you beam or grin in delight. One hopes, however, that it would not make you “smile in an affected, often offensively self-satisfied manner”—which is the definition of smirk.

I don’t mean to pick on Aquatalia (a brand name that quite reasonably blends “aqua”—the brand focuses on waterproof footwear—and “Italia,” where the shoes are manufactured). Let’s take a look at another nutty inspired namer from right here in the US of A, Stuart Weitzman.

A classic, versatile sandal in croc-patterned leather, yes? And look! It’s available in tons of sizes and widths. Think for a minute about the images and events this sandal evokes. Think about asking your favorite shoes salesperson to bring it to you. Now imagine choking on the style name: Rimactivity.

Rim. Activity. I’m a tough cookie, but honestly? I’m blushing.

Also in the current Stuart Weitzman collections: Blog, a conservative pump no blogger of my acquaintance would ever wear.

Blog, also available in basic black.

Weitzman is also partial to punny names like Russiahour (for a sporty, shiny oxford) and mouthfuls like Midpuffystuff (for a ladylike patent-leather kitten-heel pump).

But wait, it gets weirder! (Literally: I once encountered a Naturalizer shoe named Weirda.) Here, from Tsubo, is a slingback peep-toe pump that looks perfectly proper—even, you might say, angelic.

So why is it named Erebus, after the Greek god of the underworld?

Nor do comfort brands escape the temptation to name recklessly. Here we have a sensible, well-made sandal from the Dutch brand Wolky. (Wolky means “cloudlike” in Dutch.)

It’s called, creepily, Rodentia. For you non-scientists, “Rodentia” is the order of mammals that includes rats, voles, and nutria. I ask you: do you want rats on your feet?

If I were to name a shoe “Rodentia”—and I assure you, I would try my hardest to avoid doing so—here’s the shoe I’d choose:

Marc Jacobs Mouse Flat

But then again, no one asked me.

Manolo says, the Eve of the New Year’s, it approaches! And you will undoubtedly need the beautiful shoes in which to trip the fantastic light, shoes that are sparkly and festive, such as the Tryst from Stuart Weitzman.

Manolo says, perhaps you saying, “Ack! Manolo, this holiday shopping madness is crushing me! Show me something simple, something pretty, something I might actually wear!”

Et voila, the Turalu from the Stuart Weitzman. Simple. Wearable. Pretty.

Dear Manolo,

My question is Washington related: have you heard of the Miss Sinergy pageant? It’s a beauty pageant that raises money for Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. (They asked me to host the event, so I’m coming up this weekend.) Have you ever written about what shoes to wear in a beauty pageant? Flashy, but sensible so there’s no tripping on stage; alluring, but not overtly sexy.

Dan Renzi

Manolo says, ayyyyy! It is the letter from the reality-television-star-turned-writer Dan Renzi, of the Real World Miami and other such amusing bits of MTV generated content, and he is asking the Manolo the question about the beauty pagent!

Reality television, beauty pageants, and shoes! If this is not the ultimate confluence of everything fabulous, then the Manolo does not know what is.

Of the course, the Manolo could write the whole book about what sort of shoes should be worn by the would-be beauty queens. Not only must the shoes embody the ultimate in super fantasticness, but they should also allow the well-trained contestant to glide gracefully across the stage without the danger of toppling over onto her sash.

in this hypothetical book about the shoes for the beauty pageants, there were be many chapters devoted to properly matching the shoe to the event. For the example, the shoes for the Ms. Oily Butter Coconut Sun Bikini Tart would be very different from those for the future Miss Sinergy, who will be crowned in the enjoyably decorous event held at the Swedish Embassy’s House of Sweden in Georgetown, tomorrow night, October 16th, 2010. (But, please go to http://misssinergy.com for the more information.)

Look! Here is the Whirl from the Stuart Weitzman, perfect for striding to pageant glory.

Manolo says, it is autumn and all you can think about is the new suede boots to wear to all of those autumnal events which require the suede boots. Look! Here is the Prez from Stuart Weitzman, the simple, sexy, suede boot that will be the perfect thing to wear when that broad-shouldered fellow with the cornflower blue eyes asks you to accompany him on the jaunt through the colorfully leafy countryside.