Dear Manolo,

After many re-heelings and much tender loving care, my favorite pair of super-practical, low-heeled, black leather ankle boots have finally given
up the ghost. These are boots I’ve worn a least once a week for almost a decade, so I’m pretty broken up. Can you please help me find a new pair?

Margot

Manolo says, oh, how well the Manolo knows the six stages of the shoe-loss grief–denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and shopping–
however, it is the personal letters like this that bring home to us the tragedy of losing the dearly beloved one after the long slow decline.

It is not easy letting go and moving on, knowing that you will never again experience the pleasure of your dearest footwear friend.

And, yet, as the writer of the Ecclesiastics reminds us, “to every shoe there is the season … the time to wear, and the time to closet; the time
to keep, and the time to cast away.” The message is simple, when your shoe has reached the end, it is the mercy to let it go and ease its
passage out of your closet and into the recycling bin as painlessly and with as much dignity as is possible.

Do not worry, dear lady, undoubtedly your old boots would want you to be happy, would want you to find the new boots to cherish your feets.

Here are the Step from Stuart Weitzman the low-heeled boots that will perhaps ease the aching heart, especially as they are on the sale!

Dear Manolo,

Can you please help me? I’m having a hard time deciding on my Halloween costume this year. It’s come down to a choice between Morticia Addams (with a very short skirt), a Sexy Librarian, or Sarah Palin. Which do you think would be the best? What sort of shoes should I wear with it?

Emmy

Manolo says, the Manolo remembers when the Halloween was a holiday for only the little kids, who dressed up like the balleina, or the cowboy, or the Superman, and took delight in the seasonal joys of carving the pumpkins, eating the candy, and “scaring” the neighbors.

But then, sometime around the 1995, the Halloween metamorphosed into the fully adult holiday, in which the little kids are almost the after thought. Now it has become our annual Brazen Festival of Hoochie Unbound, the Dionysian bacchanal in which even the most matronly soccer mom must, for the single evening, put on the micro-mini dress and halter-top and become the Sexy Nurse, or the Sexy Pirate Lady, or the Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt.

The Manolo suggests, this year, tossing out the old, exhausted Sexy Something Halloween template, and going with the more creative costuming. Instead of tarting up the mundane, (such as the Sexy Meter Maid), try to de-tart something naturally alluring, such as the Unsexy Stripper, the Unsexy Scarlet Johansson, or the Unsexy Librarian (which, at this point, would be the radical departure from the new Halloween tradition.)

Here is the Park tall boot from the Stuart Weitzman, something that would look great under the full-length, tweed skirt that is the centerpiece of your Unsexy Victorian Trollop outfit.

Dear Manolo

I am only 44 but was recently diagnosed with arthritis in my knees and was told by my doctor NO high heels. Any time I cheat and wear even a low heel (2 inches) I end up in pain for three days, so I’m back to flats. This summer has been fine because I can get away with ballet flats, and I can wear riding boots with skirts in the winter, but when I need to look really professional for special meetings and presentations, I need to wear skirt suits, and a very professional-looking shoe. Can you help me find a flat, comfortable, but professional-looking shoe?

Beth

Manolo says, ayyyy! It is true, time is cruel!

One minute you are the 22-year-old hottie, who looks amazingly great dressed only in the ill-fitting burlap sack from the Sears, and the next you are twice that age and have just received the personal letters from both the Dolce and the Gabbana asking you to please, please, please stop wearing their clothing. (And, look! Stefano has even enclosed the check and the Talbots catalog!)

And this says nothing about the various infirmities and physical indignities that are brought by the process of aging. Indeed, the Manolo, who is the gentleman of the certain age, has his own trick knee, one which renders him unable to walk without the slight limp, or drink vin ordinaire.

Here is the Flatiron from the Stuart Weitzman, the smashingly smashing dress flat in the rich cognac anilie finsh that will leave the teeny boppers in their burlap dresses gaping with envy.

Wait, no, that’s a little too much Dylan Thomas for the first day back after a long weekend, but it’s as good a place as any to start. Like Dylan Thomas, I am a writer full of whisky and Welsh blood, though not in such high concentrations. Unlike Dylan Thomas, I am both alive and sober, though it’s not quite noon and I’ve yet to make plans for the day.

I’m Miss Plumcake, writer, editor and long-suffering troll starvation expert at Manolo for the Big Girl.

Lured by the siren songs of lithe footballers, cheap wine and easily-obtained pharmaceuticals, I left my newspaper job in Austin, Texas for the hidden beaches of Mexico where I reside in occasionally sunburned splendor with my dog and my boyfriend.

The Manolo, in his infinite kindness and unerring good taste, has invited me to post here twice a week, and I –not being half so dumb as I look– hastily accepted.

That leaves me with the problem of introducing myself.

I think most introductions are a mistake because they start too well.

If you start out with “This is Miss Plumcake, she won the Nobel Prize in Physics” (which I haven’t, although I did pack for two weeks in Ireland using nothing but my Birkin and a cream alligator overnight bag) the bar is set prohibitively high.

On the other hand, if you start out with “This is Miss Plumcake, she was dropped on her head repeatedly as a child” people will be impressed and amazed at my ability to tie my shoes and conjugate verbs. Everybody wins.

With that in mind, here is an extremely abbreviated history of my questionable decisions:

• I wore Wet n’ Wild screaming purple lipstick all through 8th grade. Mrs Cheeseman told me it didn’t go with my complexion. Mrs Cheeseman also made us wrap masking tape around our fingers and pick lint off her skirt, so it’s not like her judgement was flawless either.

• I was much older than I’d like to admit before I realized my first crush –that freckled cartoon Norwegian from A-Ha’s Take On Me video– would probably not come to fruition. See Also: getting to marry Axl Rose in a mullet wedding gown a la Stephanie Seymour (filed under Bullet, Dodged)

• I not only bought, but unironically wore a gold lamé toreador outfit, complete with black satin stretch capris and bugle beads. The nineties were a dark time. A dark, dark, glittery time.

• I accidentally set the oldest Episcopal church west of the Mississippi on fire ten days before Christmas (it’s okay now.)

• I just bought a pair of white shoes…AFTER Labor Day

(the oddly-named Stuart Weitzman “Geek” available for almost 40% off)

Manolo says, yes, perhaps you are not, at the moment, the bride, but perhaps you know the bride to be, or are the mother of the bride to be, or the bridesmaid to be, or whatever, these two dyeable satin sandals from the Stuart Weitzman, the LouLou and the Hiturn, are the bargains almost too good to pass up. 90% off the regular price, only $29.99!

Manolo says, it is summer! Do something fun, like wearing these lighthearted sandals, the Cordy from the Stuart Weitzman, while strolling this evening down by the waterfront with that young swain you met at the farmers market.

Manolo says, among the many arcane divisions, factions, schismatics, and denominations which make up the Religion of the Shoe are those exuberant charismatics who are devoted to the tassel. They are known colloquially as the Tasselites, and for them this sandal would likely be considered the sacrament.

For you, who may be more ambivalent about the tassellation, or whose devotion may be directed elsewhere, this sandal from the Stuart Weitzman would be the perfect sort of fabulously fun shoe with which to welcome the first weekend of spring.

Dear Manolo,

My semi-serious boyfriend of five months, has asked me to come to his parents’ house for dinner on Christmas Day. I met them once before, and I don’t think it went so well, so I really want to make a good impression
this time. What do you suggest?

Jeannie

Manolo says, there are the reasons why the holidays are usually reckoned to be the most stressful time of the year. Not only must we get everyone the exactly perfect gift, and make every meal and every occasion festively wonderful, but we are frequently required to make nice with people who may not be especially fond of us.

And yet, this is for the best, is it not? It is good that we should attempt to be reconciled, one to another, during this most wonderful time of the year.

This is why the celebrations and the holidays are so important, because they are moments in which we can put aside our differences be drawn closer together as humans. And so, we must approach these events in the proper
spirit of charity and love, reminding ourselves that in doing so we are helping to make our relationships stronger.

Of the course, it helps if you have handsome shoes, shoe which impart confidence and make you seem like the person of quality. Here is the Spymid from Stuart Weitzman, the modest peep-toe pump in the color known as “Fire Quasar”.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve got Thanksgiving duties this year, which means I’ll be feeding the whole extended family, twenty-five people at least, maybe more. We like to dress up for the actual meal, and although I’ll be able to change at the last minute, I’ll still want comfortable (and traditional) shoes to wear during the feast. What do you recommend?

Marilyn

Manolo says, Ayyyyy! The Thanksgiving, it is barreling toward us like the runaway trainload of free-range, heirloom turkeys! And while many of us, like the Manolo, will fling ourselves from the track of tradition by planning the low-key events, involving Swanson turkey potpies and velveteen track suits, here is the inspirational woman who meets the challenge head on!

Our friend Marilyn is not content to whip up the massive festival of domestic poultry and cornbread stuffing, she is also determined to appear at the table as the fully-fledged adult.

Manolo says, this is how life is to be lived! With food and friends and family, joyous celebrations and homey traditions of great meaning. Too often, in our desire for comfortable casualness, we have forgotten that we show respect for ourselves and others and the occasion when we dress properly.

It is Thanksgiving, the day when we give thanks to Divine Providence that we live in the age of abundance. Thus, it is only fitting that we should dress and behave in the manner that honors our good fortune.

Here is the Svelt from Stuart Weitzman, the simple mid-heel pump in the lusciously autumnal color called “Fire Quasar”.

Dear Manolo,

I need help with a major wardrobe decision. Over the past year, I’ve lost nearly 80 pounds, and have finally reached my goal weight of 135. Naturally, I need an entirely new set of clothes. The weirdest thing, however, is that my feet have also shrunk, between a half and a full shoe size. They’ve even gotten narrower! So I need new shoes. I want something sexy and strappy and suitable for dancing the night away. Please help.

Lisa

Manolo says, the Manolo’s friend Lisa is to be congratulated on her accomplishment, as losing the unnecessary weight is truly one of the hardest things in the world to do.

Indeed, the Manolo, himself, has long struggled with his own poor genetics and powerful appetites. He was not blessed with the long, thin, elegant silhouette which has been the fashion in the West since the medieval times. Nor is the Manolo one of those people who can subsist on barley water and bran rusks, preferring in the stead, savory roasts and vegetables in the cream sauces.

And thus, if asked to describe his own current figure, the Manolo would answer, “somewhat thickish around the middle” (although the judges would also have accepted “Falstaffian”).

Sigh.

Thank goodness for the custom tailoring and the male foundation garments!

Look! Here is the Lightning from the Stuart Weitzman, the sexy sandal with which to dance away the night.