Manolo asks, whose shoes?

Manolo says, steward, when you are done escorting Ms. Wittstock to her table will you please bring the Manolo the gin rickey.

N.B. Manolo says, occasionally, the Manolo finds that it is difficult to top something he has written in the past. Such is the case with this post, from the Monday after the Fourth of the July, 2008…

Manolo says, it is the Monday following the Fourth of July weekend and you are back at your desk, heavily sunburned, your hair still smelling of gunpowder and antiseptic balm.

Thanks to your husband, it was “the weekend to remember”.

Indeed how could you ever forget that headline in the Saturday morning newspaper, “Fireworks Hijinks Send Local Man to Emergency Room.”

“Well, it could be worse,” you think to yourself, “at least they managed to sew them back on.”

Still, your nerves are jittery, you think you might be slightly deafened in one ear, and your co-workers are sniggering behind your back about “Billy Ray’s” latest misadventures with the explosives.

You are tempted to stand up and shout, “Yes, his middle name is Ray, but he goes by William, dammit! Not Billy Ray! And he’s a good man!” But you know that it will do no good for they are louts and malcontents and petty peoples with no respect for those who dream big.

Oh, how you will have the last laugh on them, when your man clears that final technical hurdle and solves the difficult problem of turning kudzu into the cheap ethanol-based fuel.

“Think of it, honey,” he says to you so often, ” two birds with one stone! Kudzu and OPEC gone forever!”

You have already promised yourself that on that day you will march into the office and quit in the most spectacular, bridge-burning..no, no… BRIDGE-EXPLODING manner possible.

Naturally you will need your marching boots, something extravagant like these gorgeous python-print knee-high boots from Dior!

Manolo says, Happy Fourth of the July!

What better way to celebrate this most auspicious of days than with the over-the-top booties from Giuseppe Zanotti? Long may they wave!

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I work in a laboratory and on my feet all day. In the past I could wear jeans, t-shirts, and sneakers. Now I am senior chemist and must show visitors around. I have to wear dress slacks, shirt, tie, and clean lab coat. My feet hurt at the end of the day. Are there dress shoes that are as comfortable as sneakers?

Thanks,

Jim

Manolo says, as the Manolo has said in the past, thank heavens for the lab coat!

Like the priestly collar, the lab coat is the identifying mark of the special class of citizens, and like the clerical garb, it usually covers up the multitude of sins, although in the case of the scientist, those sins are most often sartorial in nature.

Yes, there are the scientists who dress fashionably, but these rare creatures are rarely encountered in the wild. Of the course, the modern lab nerd no longer favors the pocket-protectors, short-sleeve dress shirts and high-water trousers. Now the typical scientist will be found in the baggy cargo shorts, well-worn t-shirts, and the sport sandals, which is undoubtedly why the Manolo’s friend Jim is experiencing the feet-based culture shock.

As for the shoes for our newly promoted scientist, the Manolo would suggest the Ashton from the Allen-Edmonds. Not only does it look good, but with the rubber sole and cushiony interior it should give him adequate feet comfort.

Manolo says, the Manolo, who has been dumped in the downs these past few weeks, has decided he must self-medicate, and what better way than with the invigorating shoes from the Maestro Manolo Blahnik?

For those suffering from the low energy, the Cerreto Buckle Snakeskin d’Orsay Pumps from the Maestro Manolo Blahnik is perhaps restorative of vigor….

And if, like the Manolo, you are experiencing the surfeit of black bile, which to the person of normally sanguine temperament is quite distressing, then perhaps the Arsenia Metallic Leather Peep-Toe Pumps will put your humours back into balance.

Simple but effective cures from that most honored of physicians, Manolo Blahnik.

Manolo says, many apologies from the Manolo for desultory posting over the past few weeks. There has been much happening in the life of the Manolo, and there is yet more to occur in the coming weeks. Happily, although it is not all good, neither is it all bad. It is all just very distracting.

And now, the Manolo will attempt to return to the more regular posting schedule.

Manolo says, it is Tuesday and you are back at your desk doing that thing, you know, that thing with the work, and you are thinking to yourself… “You know what this place needs…more GLAM!”

That is what has been bothering your for these past many weeks, the utter and complete drabness of your workplace. In fact, when it comes down right to it, the beige-on-beige-on-white decorating scheme of the modern office is sapping you of your vital essences.

What is required here is more mirrored tiles, more stainless steel, more gilded surfaces, maybe even the disco ball in the break room!

But first, lest us start with your feets…

The gold, python gladiator platform sandals from the Alexandre Birman… Perfect!

Manolo says, if you are looking for something to read this fine summer Sunday, the Manolo suggests you take the look at the Manolo for the Food blog, which has strangely turned into the amusing group blog while the Manolo has been otherwise engaged.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I love most of your shoe recommendations, unfortunately, I can’t afford many of them, as I’m just a poor office drone. Can you suggest some inexpensive flat sandals I could wear on the weekends this summer?

Patricia

Manolo says, as is usually his custom, the Manolo recommends that the poor girls save their monies and purchase the best quality of super fantastic feetwear that they can afford, for such investments are repaid many times over in comfort, beauty and the satisfaction of wearing.

But, the Manolo also sympathizes with the poor working girls, who must work hard to pay the rent on the tiny, ninth-floor-walk-up, studio apartment in the grungy bohemian part of town, where all of the boys wear the too-skinny-jeans and ride the fixed-gear bicycles.

Indeed, the Manolo, himself, knows what it is like to be poor, so poor that you must fashion your own super fantastic flat sandals out of the Pabst Blue Ribbon cans and pieces of oversized hipster eyeglasses you have found in the dumpster behind that ironically iconic (iconically ironic?) dive bar.

And so the Manolo would recommend to you the Gigi from the Sam Edelman as being the simple but good-looking, moderately priced flat sandal for your summer wearing needs. It is available in fifteen different colors and materials, from “spicy orange” to “silver boa”, although the Manolo is partial to the “natural cork” finish. For the less adventurous, “saddle and black” would be the good choice.

Manolo says, here is yet another of the recent Giuseppe Zanotti shoes which has befuddled the Manolo.

On the one of the hands, it is strikingly original, this combination of khaki and leather, and the Manolo could think of many items of clothing with which this shoe could be profitably paired by the super fantastic girl.

And yet, on the other of the hands, perhaps this combination and look is too much Beau Geste, like the puttees worn by the Legionnaires. Maybe it is too costumey, no?

And now the Manolo asks, would you wear it?

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Manolo answers, it is the Dita von Teese!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Devine Miss K, who was the first to correctly identify this week’s celebrity burlesque artist of note.