N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoes tell us much about the wearer…
The Trinkletina from Irregular Choice, $145.
Manolo says, your life really changed for the better when you finally got enough money to have the full sleeve tattoo on your left arm colored in. Yes, it hurt like crazy for more than two weeks, but now all these cute young guys with mustaches and fedoras are giving you compliments on it.
It is of the geisha riding a Chinese-style dragon, wielding the broad sword, and looking very kick ass. You have named the geisha, “Trixie”, because you secretly wish that was your name, or at the least, your nickname. Trixie is so much cooler than “Jessica”.
If you had to characterize your style, you would say it was “eclectic-retro”, although it is not really that easy to find the 1940s clothing in your size (most of those girls were so tiny back then), so you mix and match, which is why you thought these shoes were so fun.
When asked, you admit to being 29, or “29 and one half” if you are being funny, but you have to be careful not to mention that you graduated from high school in 1997, because then people will do the addition in their heads. In your darker moments, when you’re alone in your tiny studio apartment, you realize this is sort of like how you call yourself the “mixologist”, when you’re really just the bartender who just pops open the cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon and pours the shots of Jamesons.
That is how you met your last boyfriend, “Loser Bob”, who was the sort of free-lance bicycle repairman and scrap metal collector. Going with him for nearly two years was not the best decision you ever made.
But these shoes, wearing them really cheers you up.
Manolo says, on the one of the hands, it is both startling and mesmerizing, like the second moon, brighter than the first, suddenly looming into view in the clear night sky.
On the other of the hands, it is her greatest, if not only, talent.
On the third of the hands, this provides the much needed corrective to the unattainable standard set by the booties of the Olympic beach volleyball.
On the fourth of the hands, this will undoubtedly send Mrs. Ice-T back to the plastic surgeon.
On the fifth of the hands, dayyyyyuuuumn, girl. Just, dayyyyyyuuumn.
Manolo says, here are the python and leather wedge sandals from the Alexandre Birman, which the Manolo considers the sort of late summer shoe, one that would find it’s home on your feets during the afternoon-to-evening transitions, when you are stepping out for the early dinner. And look! They are on the discounted sale, 54% off of the regular price, the savings of over $350 of the American dollars.
Manolo says, here are the few things which may perhaps amuse…
They are trying to save and recapture the true and original spirit of the Games…
As much as I want to like this editorial, I don’t.
“Like components of software,” she said, “fashion designers learned how to do this shoulder, put pleats on the skirt that way.”
Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, regretting that you agreed to go to lunch with your office mate Nina.
The problem with the Nina, and what makes her your mortal frenemy, is not that she is the bad person, but rather that she is both the devoted long-distance runner and the vegan, things about which she never stops talking.
What this means in the practical terms is that your lunch will begin with the self-righteous commentary on the menu choices at the TGI Fridays, followed shortly by the lengthy negotiations with the waitress over the order.
“Can you keep the Parmesan cheese out of the Caesar Salad? Wait, do you use real anchovies? You do? Then, can I have the Santa Fe Chicken Salad without the chicken, and hold the cheese on that? Also, can you give me extra black beans on that… wait, does that chipolte dressing have cream in it?”
After the food is ordered (and your waitress has silently resolved to spit in Nina’s iced tea) you will be treated to the blow-by-the-blow description of how Nina began the morning at 5:30AM with the eight mile run, which is part of her training regime for the series of ultra marathons. Afterwards, Nina will treat you to the brief disquisition on the topic “Sugar Equals Murder”.
Ugh. Just thinking about what awaits you at the lunch time makes you depressed.
You know what is needed now to cheer you up? Cinnabon! and Shoes!
here is the Maury Velvet and Metallic Sandals from the Jimmy Choo, not only beautiful, but also very low in calories!
Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.
In September, my employer is sending me out to the North Dakota oil patch for two weeks of tours, meetings, and familiarization with this part of its business. I’m a city girl from New York, so what do I know from North Dakota? I’ve been told that I’ll need boots for the visits to the work sites. Please recommend something appropriate
Manolo says, asking the Manolo for advice on what to wear to the North Dakota oil rig is like asking the peacock how to fish for the herring. He might have the theoretical understanding of the process, but could offer no practical advice.
However, from what the Manolo has heard, the oil boom part of the North Dakota is currently the manliest place in the entire forty-eight lower states, filled to bursting with manly working men going about their oily business as truck drivers, roustabouts, toolpushers, and other assorted roughnecks.
And it is not just manly by occupation, but also because so many workingmen have poured into the region over the past two years that women are now greatly out numbered in that part of the state. Which means, of the course, that no matter what the Manolo’s friend wears she will be considered one of the most attractive and stylish women in town.
Here is the Timberland Pro-Titan 6” with the safety toe, which will look smart with your jeans as you tromp through the mud of North Dakota.
Manolo says, it is Tuesday and you will not be at your desk this day, for you must attend the three-day strategy planning conference held at the world headquarters of the InEmTechCoCorp, Inc.
To say that you are not looking forward to this is the understatement. Three days of the tediously protracted committee meetings, filled with blather and jargon, and fueled by over-roasted coffee and free-floating angst. The toadies will toady, the vice presidents will preen, and you will be forced to pretend to pay attention to the proceedings.
No doodling for you! Sit up straight! The Vice President in Charge of Forward-Thinking Strategic Planning Strategy is giving the presentation!
You will tap listlessly on your electro-tablet iThingy as this besuited buffoon talks about how he took charge and strategically planned the corporate plan for strategy, while his toadies nod their heads.
Maybe, just for the second, you can mentally slip away…
“Manolo,” you whisper to yourself, “quick, show me the shoes!”
Here is the Tina from the Salvatore Ferragamo. Simple, elegant, restrained, handsome.
Manolo says, from the Best Newspaper in the World, comes the remarkable series of photographs, taken by Edward Linley Sambourne, the turn of the last century photographer who seems to have pioneered street fashion photography.
Street blogging may be considered to be a modern phenomenon, but a series of images unearthed by Kensington and Chelsea Libraries prove that the practice may date as far back as the early 1900’s.
The Library service has published several wonderful images by the late amateur photographer Edward Linley Sambourne, who was also the chief cartoonist for Punch, which give an amazing insight into the street style of the woman of London and Paris over a century ago.
Sambourne’s beautiful street photography captures the casual side of Edwardian fashion in a manner which is rarely seen
As the Manolo says, the photographs, taken in London and Paris in the first decade of the 20th Century are remarkable in their unstudied candor and casualness.
Look, she has the bicycle, just like in the Sartorialist!
Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.
In September, I’m hitting a milestone, the Five Oh. In honor of this auspicious event, I’ve been on a program of making myself over. I’ve lost weight, read some classic books I’d been putting off, grown my hair longer, and invested in a new, more elegant wardrobe. Now, I need some shoes to show off the new me. Please suggest something wonderful, something that works with black silk for my big night of celebration.
Manolo says, this is the best sort of midlife crisis, the one in which the person works diligently to improve herself physically and mentally.
How often do we hear about the lady of the certain age who, determined to grasp one last time at the thorn bush of super sexiness, has spent her efforts on six-inch stripper heels, hootchie mama booty shorts, and Dr. Roberto Rey’s Patented Plastic F-cup Bosoms.
Ayyyy! Such folly!
Manolo says, booty shorts do not light the path to personal enlightenment.
Indeed, booty shorts most often light the path to the Tackle Box Bait Shop and Karaoke Beer Bar, which is famous for its policy of “Budweiser for Booty Tipsy Tuesdays”, proudly heralded with banners promising “Tuesday Nights: Ladies With Junk in the Trunk, Come in Sober, Go Home Drunk.”
Look! Here is the Logan D’Orsay Glitter Pump from Jimmy Choo, perfect for your non-drunken evening of celebration!