Manolo’s Monday Miscellany

Manolo says, here are the few things which may perhaps amuse…

When Vesta Tilley is on the bill you had best book far in advance, or you may tip-toe disconsolately at the back of the ‘standing room’, and catch but a stray glimpse of the goddess through the bobbing leafage of ladies’ hats.
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Elaine tries to avoid all contact with her old college roommate because “she’s trying to infect me with Baby Fever!”
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Don’t get me wrong — the dude is perfectly presentable…if he’s dressing to go to the grocery store.

Prada Crisscross Platform Sandal for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk doing that thing that you do to make that money that you need to keep you from living beneath that bridge alongside the road.

“When did it become so difficult,” you ask yourself, perhaps rhetorically, “to eke out the living?”

And then you feel sorry for yourself, because all of your first-world problems are weighing you down:

For the example, you need the new washer and dryer, because the old set is seven years old, and does not feature the latest next generation, electronic time-delay cycle technology, which means that you must physically be present to push the button that turns on the actual washing machine, instead of setting it so that the cycle starts later, thus ending when you are around to put the clothes into the dryer. Without this magical 21st Century feature, you have to be there in person when the cycle ends to immediately put the clothes into the dryer, lest they acquire that moldy smell from sitting in the washer, damp.

And frankly, this morning you find this intolerable, mainly because you are catching the strange whiff of moldiness from your hair, which you dried this morning with the towel that had sat in the washer tub much of yesterday afternoon while you were at brunch.

Meanwhile, somewhere in southeast Asia, the woman who is exactly your age, to the day, squats by the muddy brown river, beating her family’s clothing on the large rock.

And, ayyyy! Look at how toned her upper arms are!

You would have to spend many hours at the gym to get that sexy arm definition, being hectored by the blonde airhead who directs the SculptZumYogaBo class.

And this thought has made you even more dolorous.

Look! Beautiful shoes!

Prada CrissCross Platform Sandal

The leather Prada crisscross platform sandals from the Fall 2012 collection.

Manolo the Columnist: Angelfish from Sperry

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I have been invited to spend a weekend on a yacht off the coast of South Florida at the end of September, with my boss, my boss’ boss, a senior figure at a key client, and their spouses/significant others. I am the most junior of the group at age 26. Please help me find a Sperry-esque shoe that meets the rules of the boat (must have non-marking soles, preferably with some grip), and will demonstrate that I am a serious professional, yet still celebrates my (relative) youth.

Lu

Manolo say, thanks to the steady diet of popular entertainment, this sounds to the Manolo like the set up to either the sinister thriller, involving volcanic island lairs and jump-suited henchmen, or the slapstick comedy of errors in which our heroine must conceal that she has accidentally dropped the big shot client’s wife’s obnoxious Chihuahua-poo over the side of the boat, thus endangering the important contract. And now, for the rest of the movie, she has to make up the increasingly elaborate excuses for the missing dog, while her wacky coworker (and best friend) hides in the cabin making the yapping noises.

Of the course, if your imagination is set at the expert level, this is actually the set up for the sinister comedy action thriller of errors, in which it is the dog belongs to the evil super villain who owns the super luxury yacht on which you are vacationing.

Here is the Anglefish from Sperry, the feminized version of the classic boat shoe in the platinum gold metallic finish. (If you feel this is too bold for Dr. Morbo’s yacht, The Yersinia Pestis, it is available in twenty other finishes, including the handsome linen and oat.)

Angelfish from Sperry

Beautiful and Rare

 

…and each one is at least 70% off some seriously hefty (as in $1000+) price tags.

These five unique offerings are available in extremely limited sizes, but if they’re your size and your style, you’re in luck.


Salvatore Ferragamo Berg sculpted wedge sandal
The question is not are they too Bianca Jagger; it’s are they Bianca Jagger *enough*?

The sculpted precision of the cut-out keeps these bisque suede wedges from being just another pair of campy kicks. For an absolutely horrible variation on the curvilinear theme hop on over to the other blog to play Is It A Shoe? Hint: I don’t really think it’s a shoe.


Ralph Lauren Collection Hannie riding boot
I don’t know who’s doing the accessories behind good ol’ Ralphie Lipschitz these days, but they knocked this one out of the park. Ralph Lauren Goes Horsey is Ralph Lauren at his best. I’m also pretty sure it’s the name of a mail-order-only DVD that comes in discreet brown packaging.


Ralph Lauren Collection Jearra t-strap sandal
I love vachetta leather the way nicer, less interesting people love their kids. Traditionally you’d have to wait for time and the elements to give your vachetta its characteristic patina, but it looks like the clever calzolai in Lauren’s Italian workshop have not just tooled the quarter and the platform but treated it, too.

Continue Reading…

Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer!

Manolo asked, whose shoe?

Kristen Chenoweth Shoes

Manolo answers, it is the Kristin Chenoweth!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Carole, who was the first to correctly guess this week’s celebrity personage of note.

Whose Shoes Wednesday

Manolo asks, whose shoes?

What Miss Plumcake is…

It’s Tuesday, time to find out What Miss Plumcake is…

Continue Reading…

Manolo’s Monday Miscellany

Manolo says, here are the few amusing things…

Bell Polisher = A young man addicted to lingering in the vestibule at 1 a.m.
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They concern themselves entirely too much with making a huge splash, and not enough about the feelings of the person they wish to propose marriage to.
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Women with larger busts and long or short torsos may find that high waistlines emphasize these features. Some will love that, some will hate it, some will be neutral …

Manolo the Columnist: York from Michael by Michael Kors

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.


Dear Manolo,

I think I need a pair of new booties to go with my pink skinny jeans. What do you recommend?

Karis

Manolo says, yes, it is true, colorful panting— pink, green, yellow, red— is all the rage among the hipsters, fashionistas, and style setters. In fact the trend is so ubiquitous, that it is probably actually out, and we have just not gotten the news yet.

But such is always the way when one chases to the trends, no?

One minute, everyone in the world is laying down on their beds desperately trying to squeeze into the Gloria Vanderbilt, super-slim-fit designer disco jeans, and the next it is all “Come on Eileen”, and now you have to go down to the hardware store and buy the overalls and bandanas so as to achieve that sexy-retro-junky-hobo-gamine look that was so popular in the summer of 1983. But as soon as you button up your Big Smith’s and started to look for someone to teach you to play the penny whistle, it was time for the “Girls Just Wanted to Have Fun”, and, well frankly, that whole Lauper-based period is best forgotten. (Your hair has only recently recovered from what you did to it then.)

Manolo says, fashion is overrated. Style is underrated. Be your own style icon!

Look! Here is the York bootie from Michael by Michael Kors, the platform ankle bootie that is trendy-hot in the purple (which the Manolo loves) and more timeless in the conservative black version.

York from Micheal by Micheal Kors

Fab Four: Green Suede Shoes (and how to clean them)

In the spirit of full disclosure, the Venn Diagram of “People Who Think Spangled and Be-Caped Polyester Jumpsuits Are a Good Idea” and “People from Whom Miss Plumcake Takes Sartorial Advice” does not see a great deal of overlapping.

Still, as both Elvis and Carl Perkins –the artist responsible for writing the seminal rockabilly classic– know, there’s just something about a good pair of suede shoes.

Blue is fine if a little expected, but greens from dusky olive to deep viridian are having a major moment this fall. Plus, green suede ages better blue does, where a bit of dirt and scuffing add to the character.

A little Annie Hall, a little Jules et Jim, these immaculate oxfords from Gravati (seriously, look at the soles, they are works of art) are the exact sort of shoe you didn’t know you needed until you find yourself wearing them for thirty years. Style it with rolled up jeans and a bateau-neck top for the kooky naif look, or go elegant with wide tailored trousers and a mercilessly chic cashmere sweater to channel Marlene Dietrich at her deadliest.

The iconic Alexander McQueen skull pump rarely goes on sale and this iteration is among the more elegant (the shark, I’m afraid, was jumped a good while ago with some of the late designer’s other iconic designs. See also, Marc Jacobs’ mouse shoe). Sizing is extremely limited, but if it fits your foot, you can get a signature shoe for over 50% off.

For something just as sexy but a little more sly, Robert Clergerie’s curvaceous Quatro in Basil is a lovely sample of a desk-to-dinner heel. The t-strap makes it perfect for dancing. In my experience, Clergerie cuts on a narrow last –it’s truth universally acknowledged that French women have skinny little banana feet– so size accordingly.

What do you wear to transition summer’s favorite maxi dresses into fall? A summer cut in an autumnal fabrication. The wallet-friendly Primrose from Seychelles fits the bill perfectly with a strong design element at the vamp that ascends higher up the throatline for a slightly less summery look. Even better, they’re on sale for 25% off.

Finally, I know people avoid suede because of the staining. I wouldn’t.

With use, suede develops a patina every bit as elegant as the crumpled lines of a linen pant. Buy them in neutrals and do your best to keep them away from oils –basically don’t fry chicken or perform automotive maintenance in them– and you’ll be good to go.

Oh, and as for maintenance: Ignore pretty much everything you’ve read on the internet on how to clean suede and listen to the advice from London custom shoemakers James Taylor and Son. They’ve been making bespoke footwear since 1857 and wouldn’t steer you wrong.

The Hillary Clinton Pantsuit Rainbow

The Hillary Clinton Pantsuit Rainbow

Manolo says, it is the the kandy-kolored tangerine-flake streamline Secretary of State!

Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer!

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Hillary Clintons Shoes

Manolo answers, it is the Hillary Clinton!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Lanzarote, who was the first to correctly identify this week’s bepantsuited celebrity politician of note.

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