Jerome Rousseau Glitter Platform Pumps for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, working to increase the gross national product of your home economy, and you have decided that it amazing how little things can substantially increase the quality of your life.

For the example, the grand nabobs at your office have recently seen fit to replace the old BunnOmatic coffee pot with the new, fancy-lad, single-serving pod machine which brews the perfect cup every time. The old way was fine, as long as you poured your cup from the pot in the first three minutes after it was produced. Later than that, the coffee tasted like the sludge scooped up from the floor of your brother’s garage. And now you must admit, that it is amazing what the good coffee can do for your mood at the place of the office.

Of the course, some of this natural enthusiasm for the fruit of the brown bean has been tempered by the overly bombastic manner in which the corporate panjandrums have introduced the improvement, with grandiloquent pronouncements and frequent reminders that ImInTech Corp “cares for its family of associates.”

This would not be so troublesome, except that over the past year nearly half the “family” has been “right-sized” out of existence, this while your CEO, Mr. Amenhotep, recently spent two millions of the dollars having the seats of his private jet reupholstered in crocodile and hippo leather.

But, at least you still have the job, and the coffee tastes all the sweeter for it.

Here is something else that will undoubtedly make your working day more pleasant…

Beautiful, glittery platform pumps from the Jerome Rousseau

Manolo the Columnist: Glitter from Kors by Michael Kors

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

At the urging of a friend, I’m subjecting myself to a so-called “speed date”, where you spend five minutes each with twenty different people, trying to decide who you’d like to see a second time for a real date. My question, of course, is what shoes should I wear? I want to look confident but approachable, sexy but demurely so. Please help.

Shannon

Manolo says, the romance, it is not dead! It is only sleeping!

“So, what do you do,” asks the Shannon.

Number 1: “This and that,” says the pale man with the lank hair and incipient potbelly, “you know, the usual. Little of this, little of that. Whatever gets me by, eh?”

DING!

Number 8: “I work for a hedge fund,” says the handsome man with the beady eyes, “one that specializes in foreclosing on low-income residential properties in distress. I’m the one who makes sure that the deadbeats are tossed out into the street. Ha, ha, ha!”

DING!

Number 13: “Real estate, babay! Big money real estate!”

DING!

Number 17: “I owned the liquor store, with my cousin, Hamid. But, he is now in Guantanamo Bay.”

DING!

Number 20: “I’m a park ranger,” says the square-jawed fellow with the twinkling brown eyes, “It’s a good job. Gives me a lot of time to think, lots of time to work on my poetry. On the weekends, when I’m not running triathlons, I like to volunteer at an animal shelter.”

Ayyyy! Romance awakens from its slumber!

Here is the Glitter from the Kors by Michael Kors, the sexy-demure pump in the dark mushroom kid suede.

Glitter from Kors by Michael Kors

Manolo the Columnist: Daisy Print Platforms from RED Valentino

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

We’re just three weeks into the new year and already I’ve got the doldrums. Maybe it’s the gloomy weather, maybe it’s the let down after the holidays, maybe it’s the fact that I’m stuck in a nowhere job, but whatever the reason, I need a pick me up. Please suggest something fun to get me out of this funk.

Amanda

Manolo says, it is the statistical fact that the third Tuesday in January is the saddest day of the calendar, the single day of the year when you are most likely to be down in the dumps.

It is not just the middle of the winter, but the exact time when the Christmas credit card bills begin to arrive, reminding you of your profligacy in buying your father that gold-plated nose-hair trimmer. $199.95! What were you thinking?

Worse, it is around the beginning of the third week, when your ambitious new year’s resolutions start to fall by the side of the road, like the crumpled receipt for your unused gym membership, blown from the window of your leased Lexus.

“I’ve lost four and a half pounds on the Low Carb, Cabbage Soup, Maple Syrup, Grapefruit Cleansing Diet,” you say to yourself as you step off the scale this morning, “time for a celebratory donut!”

What is required now to ease the pain is shoes; colorful, ridiculous, happy shoes such as these yellow, canvas, daisy-print, platform sandals from RED Valentino. Ayyyy! They are so cheery!

RED Valentino daisy-print canvas platforms

Manolo the Columnist: Kaplam Pump from Elie Tahari

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve finally been promoted to detective after almost a decade as a patrol officer and I need some shoes. While I’m obviously happy to be rid of those clunky, black cop shoes, I’m stumped as to what would look good with the stylish pantsuits I would like to wear. The regulations specify “professional, closed-toe shoes, with heels no greater than two inches high.” Please help.

Kathy

Manolo says, ayyyy! You will be like Angie Dickinson, going undercover in the hot pants and go-go boots to bust the ring of white slavers!

Or, perhaps not. The new version of the police lady life, as shown on the network television, seems to involve less of the fist fighting, and more of the science. One minute, you are flirting shamelessly with the very witty Simon Baker, and the next you are poking the decomposing corpse with the spoon.

Or perhaps not. From what the Manolo has heard, the actuality of being the copwoman in the real world is more mundane, involving overbearing bureaucracy, bad coffee at strange hours, and close contact with reprehensible peoples who do not look like this week’s celebrity guest villain.

Still, despite the fact that your boss looks more like the Ernest Borgnine than the Mark Harmon, there must be great satisfaction in knowing that you are performing the necessary and important job for society, protecting the weak and unwary from harm.

Here is the Kaplan Pump from the Elie Tahari, the sharp looking business shoe that will keep the evil-doers quaking in their much less attractive boots.

Kaplan Pump from Elie Tahari

Gael Strappy Sandals from Jimmy Choo for the Tuesday

Manolo says, it is Tuesday and the Manolo is back at his desk doing that thing that he does to amuse his long-suffering internet friends.

Yes, it is true, the Manolo has been absent these past few weeks. But, in his favor, he has the valid excuse, with which he will not tire you (although it involves travel, illness, and the death of the close relative), in the stead, the Manolo to say the few words about the new year.

Ayyyy! It is already 2012! You will need shoes that will look good during the Mayan calendar stone apocalypse, in which case allow the Manolo to recommend…


Jimmy Choo Gael Strappy Sandal

Gael Strappy Sandals from the Jimmy Choo.

Manolo the Columnist: Chaps from Elizabeth and James

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve been searching for the perfect pair of black booties for what seems like eons now. I’d love a walk-able heel (I live in Toronto and walk a ton of city blocks), but nothing dowdy. If it helps, I’m a university student that wears an awful lot of 50’s style dresses and red lipstick, but I do have a pair of spiked five-inch heels that I break out for parties on the weekends. Do you think you can suggest a boot?

Colleen

Manolo says, ayyyy! To think, it is now 2012 and we are living in the future, which, strangely seems not all the different from the past, except that all of our best friends live in something called “cyberspace”, and all the teenagers communicate entirely with their thumbs.

But otherwise, everything seems familiar, as we still live in houses made of wood and brick (instead of moon rocks and plastic), and the Rolling Stones are still the touring band (although Mick Jagger now looks like the folk art dried apple doll).

Happily, despite this being the future, many smart young women wear beautiful vintage clothing in inventive and stylish ways, and thus require shoes that complement such creations without seeming costumey. For the example, pairing the 1950s dress with the 2010s booties, the practice which has much to recommend it.

Here is the Chaps from the Elizabeth and James, the stacked heel bootie that would complement the full skirts in the most non-dowdy manner possible.

Chaps from Elizabeth and James

From the Archives of the Manolo: Manolo Blahnik Clausado D’Orsay Pumps For the Monday

N.B. This seasonally appropriate post, which the Manolo published last year, still makes the Manolo laugh with pleasure. Perhaps it will be to your liking also…

Manolo says, it is Monday, and you are NOT back at your desk, NOT slaving away for the man.

You were supposed to be back in the office this morning, as surely as the sun rises in the Easterly direction, doing your bit to increase the bottom line of MarScro International, the privately held company with interests in the manufacturing, importation and marketing of such diverse products as the lead-based Chinese toys, powdered Sudanese baby formula, and Liberian-made cellphones.

You were supposed to be back at the work, but on Christmas Day, shortly after nine in the morning, you received the strangest phone call from the CEO, Mr. S., himself, the eccentric billionaire famous in the financial press for driving the 1962 Nash Rambler (which he purchased new), and for chasing business reporters away from his decrepit three-bedroom home with the walking stick.

It was the strangest call, because the perpetually sour, old Mr. S. sounded giddy, perhaps even drunk, shouting “Merry Christmas”, and weepily thanking you for being such the faithful employee. And then he gave you the week off, followed by the big raise.

At that point, you became certain that the phone call was some lame practical joke, that this was not really the CEO, but rather some co-worker playing the cruel trick upon you.

“No, no, my dear lady. I assure you it is I.”

“But, sir, it may sound like you, but…but….”

“But, it is not my usual behavior? Not my custom to give raises to valued employees?”

“Yes, sir. Not your usual behavior.”

“Well, let us just say that I am a changed man, that from this day forth, I shall know how to keep Christmas well.”

And then he asked about your son.

“And how is little Tom?”

“He’s fine, sir.”

“Is he? The last I saw of the boy he was in a leg brace, so pathetic.”

“No, sir, he’s fine now. He’s a sophomore at Johns Hopkins, on a lacrosse scholarship.”

And then you remember that Tommy had come into the office the few years ago, on crutches, right after he had hyperextended his knee in the scrimmage against the varsity team.

When you finally hung up, “Merry Christmas!” and headed back into the family room to finish the opening of the presents, you were still not sure it had really been him.

But this morning, while you were sitting in the kitchen, drinking the coffee and debating whether or not you should get dressed and go into the office, the doorbell rang.

You pulled your housecoat tight around you, and went to the door, where you discovered the courier standing on the front step. He said your name. You signed the receipt. And then he handed you the thirty-five pound turkey, together with the envelope containing the fancy Christmas card and the substantial, year-end bonus check, with the words “Merry Christmas!” scrawled in the spidery script on the subject line.

And now, you are sitting at your computer thinking about getting some new shoes…

Manolo Blahnik Clausado Dorsay Pump

Something like these Maestro Manolo Blahnik Clausado D’Orsay Pumps in this rich blue color…. You have certainly earned them.

Merry Christmas!

Manolo says, the Manolo wishes all of his super fantastic internet friend the merriest, cheeriest, happiest, most wonderfulest Christmas ever!

Santa Manolo?

N.B. Our dear friend the The Sarah has returned with the startling theory!

I’m starting to get a little suspicious about Santa.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I still believe in him! Of course I believe in him. One would have to be entirely foolish not to believe. I have, after all, read my Pascal. And I have small children. Santa’s real all right.

But here’s the thing. I think I know who he really is. I mean, I think I know who he is the rest of the year, when he’s not flying around the world, scampering down chimneys, and dispensing delightful tchotchkes to the deserving.

Consider, my dears, the evidence.

1. His origins and whereabouts are mysterious.

2. We have seen evidence of him, but no one has ever seen the man himself.

3. He is known for his sartorial excellence (Or possibly his peculiarities. I suspect this subtle distinction turns on one’s personal feelings about ermine and red velvet.)

4. He is an appreciator of fine food and drink. Cookies! Milk! Booze! (When I was growing up, Santa expressed a strong preference for a nice single malt.)

5. He is decidedly European in affect, but seems to be most lauded in the US.

6. He has a startling fixation on footwear. In the US he leaves gifts in stockings. In Austria he leaves the gifts in shoes. In Aruba, kids leave shoes filled with food for his horses outside their doors. When the food is eaten, he fills those shoes with gifts. And on it goes. In Belgium, France, Hungary and Germany (where kids apparently polish their shoes in preparation), the Netherlands, Romania, and I’m sure in a lot of places I didn’t manage to google, footwear features heavily in the celebrating of either Christmas or Saint Nicholas’s Day.

And now, my darlings, to the second half of my argument.

I refer you to this very website’s description of our good host. He says of himself that he is, “two parts high-class shoe fetishist, one part Ricky Ricardo, and one part Jacques Barzun, a dash of Ignatius J. Reilly, shake vigorously and decant liberally, and you’ve got Manolo the Shoeblogger.”

Now I ask you! One need not have a PhD in logic or analytical philosophy (and let us be clear that the Sarah does not) in order to figure this out.

Faithful readers, the Manolo is the Santa.

And I’m a 6 ½ B. And I’ve been very very very extremely good this year. And these are tweed Alexander McQueens with sparkly skulls on them. They’re creepy, impertinent, and professorial, much like the Sarah. And they’d add just the right touch to my next discussion of Hamlet.

I’ll leave cookies. I promise.

Manolo the Columnist: Tracking from Stuart Weitzman

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

Now that all my Christmas shopping is done, I can address my real problem, finding a pair of shoes to wear on New Year’s Eve. My husband and I are going out with some people from his office (including the big boss himself) for a fancy evening of dinner, dancing and drinks. What do you suggest?

Marilyn

Manolo says, the Manolo is sad to say that the formally elegant sartorial traditions surrounding the New Year’s Eve celebrations are slowly fading into the past. Where once we took pride in our appearance, shooting our cuffs and adjusting our cummerbunds before stepping onto the public stage, now we simply tighten our drawstrings and hope for the best.

Undoubtedly, our future celebrations will find us wearing brightly colored unisex jumpsuits made from miraculous fabrics that holographically conceal the shabbiness of our underclothing.

And now the Manolo will reveal to you the forgotten secret of why dressing up for the New Year’s celebration is important: it both sacralizes the occasion and makes us feel better about ourselves. Beautiful clothing has the potential to elevate and ennoble us, to remind us of our potential to transcend the mundane problems of the ordinary world. It is also just fun.

Here is the Tracking from Stuart Weitzman, the elegant strappy sandal perfect for tripping the fantastic light on the Eve of the New Years.

Tracking from Stuart Weitzman

Fred Perry Stampdown Shoes for the Wednesday before Christmas

Manolo says, it is Wednesday and you are back at your desk, and you just realized that you have completely forgotten to do the shopping for your 22-year-old nephew, the one studying in the UK, who is not coming home for Christmas, and whom your daughter says has gone completely native.

“What does that mean,” you ask, “gone native?”

This is the pertinent question, because when you think of the young people dressing in the identifiably British manner it involves dirty jeans, torn leather jackets, and the mohawk hairdos. (For your older sister it would be nehru jackets and mop tops.)

“Well, from what I can tell from Skyping him, I think it’s sort of preppy”

“L.L. Bean preppy?”

“Nah, less fuddy-duddy, more international. Think polo shirts and Fred Perry.”

Great, and now where to find these preppy items and get them to your nephew in time for the big day? So you search the web and you come up with this very well reviewed online store which has the good things like the handsome Hugo Boss wallet and the Denham polo shirts, and promises the next day delivery in the UK, and fast delivery worldwide.

And after much looking at the site you narrow your choices down to the Original Penguin polo in purple…

And the Ferry Kingston Stampdown Stripe Shoes in the red canvas.

And so you call your daughter in and ask her what she thinks.

“He’ll love any one, but the shoes are cool.”

And, that is all you needed to know.

Manolo the Columnist: from Stuart Weitzman

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My semi-serious boyfriend of five months, has asked me to come to his parents’ house for dinner on Christmas Day. I met them once before, and I don’t think it went so well, so I really want to make a good impression
this time. What do you suggest?

Jeannie

Manolo says, there are the reasons why the holidays are usually reckoned to be the most stressful time of the year. Not only must we get everyone the exactly perfect gift, and make every meal and every occasion festively wonderful, but we are frequently required to make nice with people who may not be especially fond of us.

And yet, this is for the best, is it not? It is good that we should attempt to be reconciled, one to another, during this most wonderful time of the year.

This is why the celebrations and the holidays are so important, because they are moments in which we can put aside our differences be drawn closer together as humans. And so, we must approach these events in the proper
spirit of charity and love, reminding ourselves that in doing so we are helping to make our relationships stronger.

Of the course, it helps if you have handsome shoes, shoe which impart confidence and make you seem like the person of quality. Here is the Spymid from Stuart Weitzman, the modest peep-toe pump in the color known as “Fire Quasar”.

Spymid from Stuart Weitzman