Manolo the Columnist: Portman from Burberry

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column from the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My best friend since grade school is getting married for the second time, in Key West, in what she’s describing as a “very informal” ceremony. I know I’m supposed to wear sandals, but I need help with this. I’m not sure which kind.

Sarah

Manolo says, the Manolo cannot help it, but when the Manolo hears the words “Key West wedding “ he immediately thinks “gay pirate themed,” with the Right Reverend Captain Blackbeard the Bear officiating.

But, that is only the first problem, the second is that the Manolo hesitates to imagine what the phrase “very informal” means in the context of the Key West, where the physicians at the local urgent clinic have been known to greet the patients bare-chested, Papa Hemingway style, with the fruity daiquiri in the one hand and the stethoscope in the other.

Thus, the Manolo has many, many questions. For the example, clearly, the shoes will be optional at this wedding, likely the shirts, too. But what about the pants? Would cargo shorts be considered overly dressy? Will the swim up bar be hosted? Since the Manolo has been lead to believe that gay pirates are the mandatory part of the Key West wedding, is it okay if they only act as ushers, rather than as the groomsmen and bridesmaids?

Here is the Portman thong sandal from Burberry in the silverly color described as Metallic Trench, which since it is the end of the sandal season is half off the usual price at Zappos.

Portman Sandal from Burberry

The FitFlop, Part II

Yoko Frilly Sandal from FitFlop

Manolo says, the Manolo has been hearing from many of his friends that he should take the FitFlop more seriously, that it is not the mere gimmick designed by the unscrupulous shoe trolls working on the “greater fool” theory, but the actual beneficial shoe-based magic (+2 boot of toning) produced by ancient wizards who live in the enchanted forests of Candyland.

“But, Manolo, the friends say, the FitFlops are soooooo comfortable.”

To which the Manolo replies, “so are the cardboard boxes filled with the goose feathers.”

“But Manolo, look at the Mozimo shoe store, they have many more styles than just the sandals. Take a look at these ballet pumps.”

FitFlop Due Ballet Pumpfitflop-ballerina2

“Perhaps,” answers the Manolo, “it is time for the Manolo to reemerge from his semi-retirement. It appears that his missionary work on the interwebs is not done.”

“Don’t you like it?”

“Like is such the strong word.”

“So, should I get myself a pair of FitFlops, Manolo?”

“Only if you regard your feet as the hateful appendages worthy of being shamed by whatever pieces of colorful flotsam are currently au courant.”

“Soooo, that’s a yes?”

“Yes.”

Gola Classic Plimsolls

Manolo says, the Manolo loves the simple classic plimsolls from Gola, the ancient British sporting shoe company (sort of like the Converse) founded in the 1905.

gola-classics-womens-quota

For the Manolo, who have been the fan of the crazy colorful hi-tech running shoes, this simple plimsoll, the Quota in classic white, is the sort of athletic shoe that will not make you .

gola-classics-womens-quota-union-jack

If, however, you wish to express your excitement over the birth of George, the future King of England, then this Quota with the Union Jack would be the good choice.

The FitFlop

Manolo says, many of the Manolo’s internet friends have been asking him about the supposedly very popular brand of the thong sandals.

“Manolo what do you think of the FitFlop?”

To which the Manolo replies: “Wah? The Flipflot?”

“No, Manolo, the FitFlop.”

“The FlitFlop?”

“No, no, no,” says the friend of the Manolo, “The Fit, F-I-T, Flop. It’s a type of flip flop sandal that tones you up as you walk on them.”

“Do not most shoes have this miraculous property,” answers the Manolo, “you walk the long distances in them and as the result you achieve the higher level of physical fitness.”

“Well, yes. But supposedly, you don’t have to walk as far in the FitFlop to achieve the same result.”

“Ah, so they are very, very heavy then, yes, like strapping the lead weights to your feets? For pumping the iron.”

“No. I don’t think so, Manolo. Anyway, these shoes they’re really cute, and they help you tone up. Cool, huh?”

“Really cute? Really?”

“Really cute. Look, here’s some FitFlops from Shoetique. What do you think, Manolo?.”

FitFlop Fluer Mineral Red

“Do you wish the Manolo to honestly opine about this,” asks the Manolo.

“Yes, of course.”

“It looks like the orthopedic shoe for hippies.”

“But, that’s the whole point, it tones you up as you walk in them.”

“Are you perhaps familiar with the name Charles MacKay?”

“No, who?”

“Oh, nobody.”

Cherry-Fuchsia Wedge Sandals for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, slaving away for the Man, making hay for the ImEmTechCo, Inc, while the sun doth shine.

Lately, however, you are coming to the realization that perhaps you are trading your salad years for the mess of corporate pottage.

Yes, you have the roof over your head, and the organic food on your table, but you are finding that reporting in each morning for another spin on the hamster wheel is not as fulfilling as you had hoped it would be when you were hired, lo, these many years ago.

This is why you have lately been considering starting your own business. Either corporate consulting in your field or the cupcake bakery, although, frankly, you are worried that the cupcakes have peaked, which why the thoughts of mini-bundt cakes keeps swimming unbidden into your noggin.

Remember your friend Jilly, who left the very big-deal job as the lawyer to start her own quilting shop? It all happened the year after she won the second place ribbon at the state fair for her unorthodox triptych quilt depicting the life and works of Sir William Blackstone.

Next thing you know, she had sent in her notice, cashed out part of her retirement, and opened the “Gilded Needle Quilt Shoppe” in the converted Victorian two blocks up from Main Street in this twee little town filled with antique stores.

And now, five hard years later, she works mostly as the public defender, and has almost entirely given up the quilting.

You know, maybe the problem is that it is summer time and you are stuck indoors. Maybe you need to think about the flippy-fun, summery wedge sandals with the cork soles.

Lotus Fuchsia Wedge Sandal

From the Lotus, this is the Cherry-Fuchsia Corsage Wedge Sandal, which may well be the cure for what ails you.

Manolo the Columnist: Katherine 3 from Isaac Mizrahi New York

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m a brand new teacher of middle school students, so I need some comfortable, yet affordable and stylish shoes to wear to work. Please help.

Lauren

Manolo says, oh how the Manolo admires the young, idealistic new teachers filled with hope and the indomitable spirit. They are so eager to get into the classroom and start teaching, so convinced that the World will be theirs for asking.

Unfortunately, the World has other plans for our new teacher, plans which mostly involve wrestling her into submission right after homeroom, giving her the noogie, and taking away her lunch money.

Yes, it is true, the World is both the poor student who never learns and the terrible bully who causes all sorts of trouble. Indeed, over and over again, the principal has sent letters home to the World’s parents . . . letters which went completely unanswered. And, who can forget that one time the school district suspended the World for his bad behavior? He just waited outside the gate of the schoolyard, glowering through the chainlink fence at everyone whom he felt had wronged him.

Happily, most of us who reach the age of the middle have learned how to manage with the World, but for the new teacher of middle schoolers, well, we can only wish her the best.

Here is the Katherine 3 from the Isaac Mizrahi New York, the cheery blue ballet flat suitable for the new teacher.

Katherine 3 from Isaac Mizrahi New York

Manolo’s Late Night Bargain: Prada Gold-Tone Logo Loafer

Prada Gold-Tone Logo Loafers in White

Manolo says, yes, this magnificent specimen of Park Avenue Prada-tude is the little bit old ladyish, but the Manolo should not have to remind you that, according to the Times of the New York, this is the year of the frump. Which means that if you cannot wear these handsome shoes now, when can you? When you are the dowager countess?

And look! They are on the sale, more than $470 off of the usual price!

The Season of Neon

The Celebrities Love the Cobolt Blue

Manolo says, the Manolo’s friends at the Designer Desirables have declared this to be the Season of Neon.

Neon is rocking for Summer 2013 and it’s the perfect antidote to the sickly sweet sorbets that are all over the place. We’re talking luminous greens, yellow, pinks and oranges. It takes balls to wear neon; you won’t go unnoticed, you’ll be ousted for the fashion loving creature that you are! Oh yes neon is for victims (the fashion kind) so you better be prepared to stand behind it.

The Manolo loves the neon, and he especially loves the current trend toward the electric cobalt blues. And how stunning would you look in something like this…

Cobalt Blue Pencil Dress

The cobalt blue, draped, pencil dress from Vesper. This is how to do the neon colors correctly, with the classic shape and reserved presentation, so that the bright color can be the star of the show.

Manolo’s Late Night Bargain: Rupert Sanderson Ankle Bootie

rupert-sanderson2Rupert Sanderson Ankle Bootie

Manolo says, from Hervia, comes the magnificent bargain on the Rupert Sanderson high heel ankle bootie, 70% off of the usual price.

Yes, this is last season’s shoe, but look at it. Is it not beautiful in its simplicity? This shoe is the sort of shoe that will fast become the staple in any super fantastic girl’s wardrobe. It is the classic of shoe design, the versatile shoe that can be worn almost anywhere, with almost anything.

Speaking of the great bargain, here is the Rupert Sanderson high heel cutout pump that is also 70% off of the usual price.

Rupert Sanderson Cutout Pumps

At the end of the fashion season, the judicious shopper can find many bargains on shoes which will remain very wearable for many years to come.

Nostalgia for the 1990s? Already?

Manolo says, according to the blog posting at the website of the Intro, the hot menswear trends of the summer of 2013 are the varsity letterman’s jackets, nautical-inspired clothing, and the 1990s nostalgia.

Get ready for a blast from the past! 90s fashion is back, as seen on the catwalks at Topman Design and Shaun Sampson summer 2013 is seeing a big 90s revival. Key trends like double denim, neon brights, acid wash, all over prints, grunge style beanie hats and loose fitting fabrics are all must haves for this season. Now I’ll admit that the 90s look may seem difficult to pull off but when styled correctly you can make sure you don’t end up looking like the fresh prince.

Please to make this go back to the future.

Ayyyy! The 1990 have returned! Only without the roaring economy that made the execrable styles (such as the drop crotch jeans) seem tolerable.

Nostalgia for the 1990s? Why are we condemned to relive the era of grunge?

Why can we not have the nostalgia for the 1890s? That was the real decade of style. Cut-away coats and top hats, high button shoes with spats.

Manolo the Columnist: Mirielle from Circus by Sam Edelman

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest post for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo

When I got up this morning, the weatherman was shouting about our big heat wave, which makes me think I want to move to Juneau, Alaska, or maybe buy myself some new sandals. Please advise

Lisa

Manolo says, among the many things about the modern world of which the Manolo does not approve, the melodramatic hysteria of the broadcast weatherpeoples ranks just below the peoples in the seats in front of you who are texting commentary on the movie you are watching to the peoples who are sitting in the seats behind you.

Sadly, nowadays, our weatherpeoples announce the slightest increase in the temperature and humidity as if it were the existential crisis, instead of typical summer weather in the District of the Columbia.

“Well, Kelley, you see here on the map, that over the weekend a widespread Mongol horde will move into the tri-state area from the east, bringing with it a pretty heavy concentration of looting and pillaging. Saturday afternoon we can expect the living to envy the dead. But by Sunday, things will quiet down, although look for pyramids of skulls appearing outside most the majors cities.”

“Looks like a rough weekend ahead, Biff. How’s it gonna be on Monday?”

“By Monday afternoon, the Mongols should have moved westward out of the area, trailing a string of captives, but you might still run into scattered raiding parties during the AM commute. So, pack a sword, just in case.”

Look! It is the Mirelle from the Circus by Sam Edelman, the super cute beaded thong sandal that is perfect for the hot days in the big city.

mirielle-circus-sam-edelman

Satin Stiletto Peep-Toe Pump for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, greatly ungruntled about the impending nuptials of your semi-best friend for never, the soon-to-be-thricely-married Marjorie.

“Well, at least I still believe in love,” she is given to saying whenever anyone so much as hints that maybe it is time for her to give it the rest, “I’m still out there trying.”

Yes, Marjorie, she is still trying, this time to the balding, 64-year-old domestic beer distributor who drives the red Corvette, has recently taken up the salsa dancing, and frequently refers to himself in the third person.

“So, when it came to this little lady right here,” the groom-to-be said at the engagement party, pulling Marjorie close in to his Hackenlooper Budweiser polo shirt, “Ole Bob Hackenlooper vows to spare no expense,” by which he meant spending the honeymoon on the seven-day Royal Caribbean cruise to the Cancun.

Three weddings and you will have been the bridesmaid in all of them, the first time in 1988 to the infamous Todd, the second eighteen years later to James who looked like the aardvark and worked in something to do with insurance, and now this one, which is why your are unhappy, and why you are looking through DressFirst website for the reasonably priced, mostly attractive bridesmaid dresses in red.

“To match Bob’s Corvette.”

It is not the good sign, when the bride is worried about whether or not she will be able to upstage the groom’s car.

Well, at least the day is not the total loss, for you have decided that you will wear these red, satin, stiletto heel, peep-toe platform pumps no matter what happens.

dressfirst

Yes, they are not the most expensive shoes, but you appreciate the modest price, because you still have the last pair of Marjorie bridesmaid shoes sitting your closet. They are lime green.

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