Whose Shoes Wednesday

Manolo asks, whose shoes?

FN Shoe Star, Episode 19

Manolo says, and now we are at the next to the last episode of the FN Shoe Star saga, in which the Keena and the Rachel present to the judges their final collection.

The Manolo thought that this episode was the best one yet, because the presentations of the two young women were so interesting and well done. Indeed, the final challenge was especially well thought out as the two designers were charged with not only producing the two pairs of the shoes, but also the entire justification and marketing plan for their potential collections.

The results were remarkably different. Keena’s collection stood out as the most original and true to her personality, but Rachel’s presentation was the most thorough and most professional, and her collection was more commercial.

But, watch this episode for yourself, especially the last half, as it is very good.

As for who the winner will be? The Manolo does not know. Both designers turned out to be very talented and very capable. The Manolo likes Keena’s sandal best of all the shoes, but dislikes her covered wedge worst of all the shoes (it is clunky, not at all “Ephemeral”). However, Rachel’s collection was consistent and very marketable, but not especially distinctive.

But, the Manolo must step out onto the limb and make the guess, so he says that the judges will pick Rachel, because she has thinks so much about the marketing and is the very commercial sort of designer.

Christian Louboutin Ana Strass Crystal Sandals for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk wishing that you had managed to make the first two weeks of June your vacation, rather than the last two weeks of July.

You need the break, because a) it has been the powerfully awful month or so at your place of employment, what with the off-laying of various low-level employees and the added work which has been piled upon you as the result, and b) because the school year has ended for your children, and your 12-year-old son and your 15-year-old daughter are at the home, alone, unsupervised.

This should not really be the cause of worry, as not only are they the generally good children, but they are also plenty old enough to care for themselves. Indeed, your own grandfather held down the adult employment by that age, something he never failed to mention at the various family gatherings.

“On Friday afternoons, I’d hand your great-grandfather my pay envelope, and he’d hand me back two one-dollar bills. That was my money for the whole week. Lunch, Dinner, Sodey Pop. The whole shootin’ match. Fourteen years old, working a man’s job for two dollars a week.”

“Yes, Grandpap,” you’d answer, dutifully.

“A course, didn’t need that much money back then. A nickle’d get you a candy bar, a dime would do for a hotdog.”

“Yes, Grandpap.”

“Bought my first car for $94. People now-a-days don’t know the meaning of money. Think it grows on trees like persimmons, er pippin apples.”

Look! Beautiful shoes!

Christian Louboutin Ana Strass Crystal Sandals

The Ana Strass Crystal Sandals from the Christian Louboutin.

What would your Grandpappy say?

Manolo the Columnist: Willie from Diane von Furstenberg

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

This summer I will be on a faculty fellowship at an Ivy League university, where an ambitious film actor is also pursuing one of his 11-or-so literary PhDs. What kind of footwear can I wear with my floaty dresses that will at once announce “serious academic” to my colleagues as well as “important ingenue” in case the actor’s looking for a fresh co-star?

Kate

Manolo says, to paraphrase the immortal Dorothy Parker: seldom cast as actresses, are the girls who wear glasseses.

Despite the unusual circumstances involving the pretty boy actor and the Ivy League fellowship, this is the variation of the old conundrum: how does the smarty-smart girl attract the admiring male gaze without feeling, self-consciously, that she is the gender-traitor for conforming to the traditional, heteronormative, patriarchal orthodoxy.

Although, the modern world, being infinitely more complicated than the 1980’s music videos, offers further difficulties that the acerbic Ms. Parker could never have imagined.

Or, to paraphrase the Thomas Dolby, “Good Heavens, Miss Sakamoto! You’ve filed harassment charges against me for noticing that you’re beautiful!”

Which is why the pretty boy actors tend to date the pretty girl actresses, because such academy-specific complications do not enter into the mathematics of Hollywood romance.

But, it never hurts to give it the old college try. Here is the Willie from Diane von Furstenberg, the sharp-looking wedge heel sandal with enough intellectual interest to maintain ones credibility in the faculty lounge.

Willie from Diane von Furstenberg

Snooki’s Fashion Accessory: Attention

Following her incident with an Italian police car yesterday, nugget sized Snooki of deplorable MTV Jersey Shore “fame” was photographed today wearing a neck brace to accompany her hideous ensemble and unfortunately she couldn’t find one big enough to cover her entire face and body.

Snookie neck brace

Snooki and her co-star Deena got into a minor traffic accident on the streets of Florence, which shockingly according to police reports involved no alcohol. Snookie was apparently driving a vehicle (sitting on what I can only assume was a child’s booster seat, seeing as I find it hard to believe she could see above the steering wheel) and rear ended a police car in front of them that was escorting the talented and fame worthy celebrities to their filming destination. While there was no arrests made and the two suffered no injuries, Snookie decided to play it up today with the addition of a neck brace. BUT only for the cameras. Snookie reportedly removed the neck brace between takes, because I can only assume when you fake an injury it’s annoying to wear  supportive medical supplies.

Snookie removes neck brace

But let’s face it, the real crime here (other than the fact Snooki is in the public eye at all) are her fuzzy Ugg boots. They make her look like some sort of pudgy show poodle that desperately needs to be put down. The fact that those things are allowed to be sold and worn in public is a true tragedy. Not to mention the function of providing warmth is completely null and void seeing as it is currently warm in Italy! Wearing them isn’t even practical, thus, there is no excuse. If she is going to get away with a fender bender and causing minor injuries to two police officers, she at least needs to be arrested or fined for committing rape against my eyes.

Manolo on the Go

Manolo says, the Manolo apologies to his internet friends for the paucity of posts. He has been traveling this weekend, enjoying the Southern hospitality in the most pleasant (although very humid and full of cicadas) city of Nashville.

While you are waiting for the Manolo to return, here is the pair of Stuart Weitzman platform sandals the Manolo saw on the feets of the Southern lady yesterday.

Stuart Weitzman Root

The preppy Southern espadrille, perfect for the Belle Meade ladies!

Manolo the Columnist: D Marine 1 from Geox

Dear Manolo-

I’ve been searching for a good airport shoe. Something that I can walk far in, that slips on and off easily, and one that I can wear socks with – shoe stores can pretend all they want, I know that panty hose do NOT form an impenetrable barrier against bacteria/fungi/gross foot stuff. It seems impossible to find a chic non-sneaker candidate. I either end up barefoot in the airport (ew) or wearing some incredibly ugly clog-type things (also ew) Can you help?

Jen

Manolo says, gone are the days of the Orient Express, when the travelers were politely ushered into luxurious accommodations and conveyed to distant and exotic lands at the leisurely pace,

Now, we are herded down the abattoir chutes like cattle headed for the slaughter, jammed into the metal tubes and flung aloft at tremendous speed, our lives forfeit to the technical competency of peoples we have never met.

In the modern world, being forced to take off the shoes is the least of the indignities we must endure, paling in comparison to the gross indignities of having the federal employees who are paid to do nothing but look at our nudie pictures and touch us in uncomfortable places.

Here is the D Marine 1 from Geox, the ballet flat that is exactly what is required, something comfortable, stylish, and easily removed when the authorities demand to see your toes. Available in black, dark beige, old rose, and the Manolo’s favorite color, smoke grey.

D Marine 1 from Geox

Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer!

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Susan Lucci Shoes

Manolo answers, it is the Susan Lucci!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Retna, who was the first to correctly identify this week’s soap operaish celebrity of note.

My 5 Best Songs About Shoes

Perhaps I’m addicted to list making (much like my strange addictions to vintage glasses frames and coconut water) but after compiling a list of my favorite movies about shoes, I felt compelled to build a follow up! Music, much like shoes, is a very important facet in my life, so why not combine the two into something acoustically pleasing inspired by that of aesthetic greatness? Shoe songs! What a concept. While there have been many, I have whittled my list down to 5 of what I consider to be the very best songs about shoes.

 

Kenny Loggins - Footloose
5. Kenny Loggins – “Footloose”

This may just be my affinity for young Kevin Bacon talking, but this is a classic shoe tune. It’s a quintessential 80’s song that can’t help but bring a smile to your face, but ultimately it is a serious ditty about a man’s inner struggle to combat his absolute need to dance with his need to fit into a strict society where dancing is not allowed. Oh the inner turmoil and torture! So dark, such overwhelming angst! Kidding.The title track from the wonderfully cheesy 80’s flick Footloose, thing song is fun, great for dancing and an absolute wedding reception staple. This song even got Grandma Joan tapping her toes when it played at my last cousins reception. Not to mention, Sarah Jessica Parker stars in this flick pre Carrie Bradshaw! Those are some serious shoe roots. So kick off those Sunday shoes (or don’t, if they are cute and you can dance in them) and enjoy.

The Beatles - Old Brown Shoe
4. The Beatles – “Old Brown Shoe”

Ahhh, The Beatles. While not everyone is a fan, it is hard to find a person who doesn’t enjoy at least one song. With such a diverse catalog, these gents covered quite a span of music tastes. This song, which features George Harrison on vocals, was originally released as a B-side to “The Ballad of John and Yoko” and displays those four blokes in all of their “we are going through a weird drug phase” glory. Plus it’s one of those tracks with George Harrison on vocals, a bit of a rarity for Beatles hits (obviously not as rare as a Ringo song…poor Ringo), which makes it even more wonderful.

KC and the Sunshine Band - Boogie Shoes

3. KC and the Sunshine Band – “Boogie Shoes”

This playfully suggestive disco hit (are they really talking about dancing?) was featured on the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack and is undoubtedly a song to shake your hips to (in whatever fashion you’d prefer). This tune takes me back when John Travolta was a dreamy blue eyed babe (granted I wasn’t alive at the time, but I’ve seen photos) before he got all bald and starting sporting a weird goatee for Battlefield Earth. Yowch. It just makes me want to throw on my pair of highwaisted bell bottom jeans, which I do in fact own and are wonderful, with some far too tall heels and attempt to dance the night away. Boogie. Shoes. Yes please.

Carl Perkins - Blue Suede Shoes

2. Carl Perkins – “Blue Suede Shoes”

While this song was made popular by the late great Elvis Presley, it was originally written and first performed by Mr. Perkins himself. A fantastic tune of it’s time, if I was a mother when this was released I would have certainly been scared of the hip shaking it induced! This song is not only fun, catchy and made of toe tapping greatness but it also stresses the importance of shoes. Shoes over everything! The lyrics state “you can do anything, but lay off of my blue suede shoes”. And he literally means anything. Arson, theft, slander, enacting violence on his FACE, but when it comes to the shoes you better back the hell off. Well put Perkins, well put.

Nancy Sinatra - These Boots are Made for Walking
1. Nancy Sinatra – “These Boots Are Made for Walking”

This song is sexy. Play it in your room while trying on a pair of boots and try not to feel like a vixen. I dare you. This addictive 60’s hit is the perfect song about shoes: sexy, fun, flirtatious, catchy and it let’s the shoes do all the work. The boots are the star of the song! They own the song, and some day they will own you. I don’t know about you, but I find a bit of truth in these lyrics (serious debt to a shoe addiction?). Interestingly enough, after it’s release this song was widely considered a disappointment after the career legacy of her father Frank. Admittedly, those are some rather big shoes to fill (pun definitely intended), but later on it became one of the most addictive songs of the 60’s. While she never had another hit, this iconic song lives on today as a fantastically sexy ballad to the one we call shoe. Play it again!

I know I left out plenty of greats. What are you favorites?

 

Baba Wawa Gaga Joy

Baba Wawa meets Gaga

Manolo says, since the Manolo rarely watches The View, he can only imagine…

Scene: The View

Joy: No!

Gaga: Get out of here!

Baba: Yes, it’s true. He was a magnificent specimen of a man, ultimately tragic, but in his prime…

Joy: It’s not possible.

Gaga: !

Baba: Oh, we were so in love. And just between us girls, the love making was spectacular. Sometimes five, six, seven times a night.

Joy: I’m speechless

Gaga: !

Baba: It’s true, when I hear that song he wrote for me, I get…

Joy: Wait, wait, he wrote a song for you. It’s not the song, is it.

Gaga: I love that song. It’s an inspiration to me.

Baba: Yes, that song.

Joy: No way!

Gaga: !

Baba: (sings softly) “She’s a very kinky girl, the kind you don’t take home to mother…”

Whose Shoes Wednesday

Manolo asks, whose shoes?

People of WalMart, the Music Video

Manolo says, appalling societal decay set to the catchy tune!