Miu Miu Patent Leather Mary Jane Pump for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk, and today you are ready to go! You woke up early, the fire for success in your belly, rumbling like the spicy burrito of accomplishment to come, pushing you forward to success.

Coffee! Coffee! Shower! Coffee! Clothes! Coffee! Go!

Must get to office to do that thing that will get you that promotion that will result in worldly success!

“Get out of the way,” you shout to the cars that are impeding you on the turnpike, “I have places to go, dammit!”

You arrive fifteen minutes early to the office, the testament to your diligence and can-do-it attitude. You leap from the automobile and race through the lobby, past the Ed the Security Guard.

“You go, missy!” he says genially to your back as you hit the elevator at the run.

“No time to talk, Ed,” You shout over your shoulder.

Up to the 6th floor, into your seat, boot up the computer, ignore the emails, and buckle down for the meaningful session of work. Ten minutes later the boss arrives, he nods his head, clearly happy to see you there at your desk.

Mission accomplished!

And now, you can click over to the real internet, to enjoy the first day of the week as is customary, by looking at gossip sites and beautiful shoes.

Miu Miu Patent Leather Mary Jane Pump

Look! Miu Miu Patent Leather Platform Mary Jane Pumps, with the bow!

Manolo the Columnist: The Mojito from Bernardo

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m going to spend Memorial Day Weekend with my loveable, but slightly déclassé parents at, yes, the Jersey Shore. What I need is a pair of flat sandals, something fun that I can wear in a variety of situations. Please help.

Tina

Manolo says, the Jersey Shore! Thanks to the notorious television show of the same name, the Manolo imagines this mythical place where all of the men are comically muscled egoists, and all of the women surgically-enhanced bimbettes, and everyone is strangely tangerine-colored

And yet, the few times the Manolo, himself, has visited the Jersey Shore, he found it to be the mostly pleasant, family-oriented destination of Victorian homes and mini-golf courses.

But, such is the power of reality television, and its need to generate the dramatic situations by putting ambitious and energetically dysfunctional peoples into the close proximity, so as to watch the sparking fly. Which, now that the Manolo thinks about it, is pretty much exactly what happens in the Congress, which begs the question, why does the C-SPAN not have the better ratings?

Perhaps, as part of the Sweeps Week ratings stunt, if Snooki and the Situation swapped places with Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner.

If you consider it, does it seem so unlikely?

Look! Here is the Mojito from Bernardo in the platinum color. Shiny enough for J-Wow, but sophisticated enough for Madame Speaker!

Mojito from Bernardo

Extraterrestrial Freindly Fashion from United Nude

It’s important to have a nice repertoire of shoes in order to assure you are ready for any occasion: a casual day with friends, a night out on the town, a summer picnic, a snow day, a work day…but what about a trip to the moon? Well not to worry,  because the folks at United Nude have got you covered.

United Nude Build Your Own Platform

The creatively contemporary and boundary pushing footwear line has teamed up with Spanish performance artist Alicia Framis to come up with a shoe for the Moon Life Project, a conceptual project based on the belief that humans will one day live in outer-space. Behold the build-your-own platform shoe! This carbon-fiber shoe comes to you boxed in pieces along with assembly instructions and interchangeable parts to allow for a more personalized and custom look.

United Nude Shoe PartsWhile you cannot deny the shoes are certainly an intriguing concept, to me they look a bit like a Bowflex machine designed by Tim Burton.  It’s a good thing the moon has very little gravity, because I can envision myself falling constantly in these things. Call me a luddite, but if this is the future in shoe technology, I don’t know if I will be able to adapt! I think I’ll stick to my pre-assembled shoes on my first planet of origin.

Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Maria Shrivers Shoes!

Manolo answers, it is the Maria Shriver!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Juliet, for being the first to correctly identify this week’s wronged celebrity lady.

Whose Shoes Wednesday

Manolo asks, whose shoes?

Giuseppe Zanotti for the Tuesday

Giuseppe Zanotti High Heel Sandal

Manolo says, the Manolo is in the air over this unlikely shoe from the Guiseppe Zanotti.

This is decidedly not what the Manolo thinks of when he thinks of the Giuseppe Zanotti sandal. (Where is the blingtastical bling?) Although, it strikes the Manolo as the honorable attempt at something new for the Zanotti, and thus earns the “A” for the effort.

And yet, on the other of the hands, it is not exactly correct. Perhaps it is the proportions of the straps which seems slightly too big.

Still…

And now the Manolo asks, would you wear it?

The Eurovision 2011

Manolo says, because nothing says pop music like Moldova and unicycles.

Reed Krakoff Asymmetrical Mirrored Sandals For the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk doing that thing that you do to make that money that you need to stave off the ravages of the modern world (such as having only the basic cable and eating the Helper of the Hamburger).

Yes, you must trade one third of each working day for the monthly notice that some electronic bits representing the medium of exchange known as “dollars” (or “pounds”) have been deposited into your account at the regional mega bank.

It is not like back in the day, when each Friday afternoon your grandfather trooped down to the pay office, lunch bucket in hand, to receive the actual physical monies, the fraction of which he would then spend on the glass of beer and the onion sandwich, shared with his friends on their way home (their reward for the week of hard physical labor).

And now, our labor mostly consists of electronically wrangling with peoples in distant parts of the world over niggling matters punctilious nonsense. We are less likely than our grandfathers to lose our fingers in the machinery of production, but the price we pay is that our Friday afternoon onion sandwiches are less flavorful, and our relationships more attenuated.

How unusual to think that we “know” hundreds of peoples we have never even spoken to on the telephone, much less met in person. It is the situation beyond imagining for our ancestors, to live and work in such majestic comfort and safety, and yet be so distant from others.

Sigh.

Life is joy and sorrow, work and play, doubt and faith, jumbled together in the most vexing and glorious stew. Eat and live!

Your cellphone buzzes with the continual text messages, y

Here is the Lizard and Mirrored Asymmetrical Sandal from Reed Krakoff, something that should make even the grimmest days more bearable.

Manolo the Columnist: Dachen from Isola

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I have a dilemma. On the first three weekends of June, I’m supposed to attend three separate weddings, which will mean at least two separate outfits, if not three. My problem is that I can only really afford one decent pair of shoes, hopefully priced below $200. Can you help me?

Chelsea

Manolo says, frankly, after the Giant, Royal, Big Deal, Fairy Tale Wedding of the Prince William the Balding and his not-royal bride, Kate Middleton the Skinny, who cares about the shoes anymore?

The shoes are the news of yesterday. Today, Manolo loves the hats!

Hats! Hats! Hats! In all their splendid multifarious fabulousity! Who can forget the sight of all those horsey upper-class English women wearing the most incredible creations on top of their pinched and sour faces?

Swooping birds of prey in teal, with feathers of gold! Mauve life rafts bedecked with the garden of flowers! Frank Gehry fascinators with compound curves and silver scales! Artful stacks of fluorescent forest twigs with multicolored wind chimes! Almost all courtesy of the The Mad Irish Hatter, Phillip Treacy, the sly genius who has convinced the entire generation of titled women that looking silly is chic.

Yes, the modern monarchy may be the sad and greatly diminished affair, most often seen at supermarket grand openings and the covers of the tabloids, but in the matter of hats, they still reign supreme.

Here are the beige platform pumps, the Dachen from Isola, that will, in the words of Larry the Guy of Cable, “get’er done.”

Dachen from Isola

Dixie Ick

The Dixie Chicks haven’t been in the public eye in quite some time…and apparently for good reason. The Chick’s lead singer Natalie Maines popped up at the premiere of the newest Pirates of The Caribbean movie (Really? Another one?) looking frumpy and unimpressive. Cowboy take her away indeed. Far, far away.

Natalie Maines Pirates Premiere

Oh the mundanity! Maybe the trench could have worked in a different context, other than the saggy pocket which I can only assume is filled with car keys, saltine packets, snot covered tissues and a juice box (or perhaps golden treasure?). This look screams “suburban mom after a spending spree at Kohls”. White capri pants, Natalie? Unless they are some homage to the pantaloons worn by pirates of yore, they are simply unacceptable. Overall, she looks stumpy, dowdy, and fit for an Outlet Mall. Which coincidentally was probably the last location I heard a Dixie Chicks song.

The Abyss Also Stares

Lagerfeld, Neitzsche, and Bear

Manolo says, this news item surprises the Manolo not in the least.

Karl Lagerfeld was obviously joking when he told Hilary Alexander, “I don’t want an intellectual image, I’m a fashion person,” back in January. His latest project – and he is perhaps fashion’s greatest multi-tasker – is to publish the entire works of Friedrich Nietzsche, the 19th century German philosopher.

Lagerfeld told WWD he would be publishing Nietzsche’s work, in 12 volumes, the way the German philosopher would have wanted it: typeset print alongside the original manuscripts complete with hand-written corrections. Only 3000 copies of “Nietzsche’s Nietzsche” will be printed, said Lagerfeld, showing off photocopies of original pages, apparently “dense blocks of small handwriting – some words underlined, others stricken and overwritten – on sheets of pale yellow paper.”
“It’s very easy to read if you understand this type of German,” he said. “I would love to publish it in English, but it would take five to seven years to translate it.”

It is not surprising because the Manolo has long thought of the Evil One as the supremely Nietzschean figure, working his Umwertung aller Werte on the unsuspecting world.

P.S. Thanks to the Manolo’s friend the Anne for alerting the Manolo to this.

Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer!

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

January Jones in Red Versace Gown for the Golden Globes

Manolo answers, it is the January Jones!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Kerri, who was the first to correctly identify this week’s celebrity personage of note.