¡A Las Barricadas!
Manolo says, Ayyyyyyyyy! The final battle between good and evil is joined! To the barricades!
Crocs Inc., the maker of brightly hued plastic clogs, made a bold bid to expand its appeal Tuesday by unveiling a new line of women’s fashion footwear.
The introduction of the You by Crocs line of nine boots and shoes marks a departure for Crocs, which has logged meteoric sales growth from the popularity of its odd-looking, perforated shoes. The shoes — a hybrid of a sandal and a clog — are made of a plastic resin that wearers find both comfortable and light weight.
Among the most radical shifts for the You by Crocs line is the new arrivals’ retail price: $149 to $299 a pair. That’s far above the
$30 price on Crocs’s standard shoes. The new line includes eight wedge-heeled models and one lifted flat, each of which features a combination of leather, suede and lambs wool. Crocs’s plastic resin occupies only the soles of the new models. The You by Crocs line will be available from retailer and online this fall.
For the past several years, the Manolo has watched the gathering storm, as one terrible shoe fad after the next has crashed upon our peaceful fashion shores.
But, this was before the arrival of the odious Crocs, whose cheap and loathsome plastic have turned millions of otherwise respectable citizens into fashion zombies, besotted by the promise of “comfort” and the sweet smell of polystyrene resin.
Now, as the Manolo had long feared and predicted, the Croc super villains, hiding in their mountainous lair in the mythical land of Niwot, have deployed their ultimate weapon, the oxymoronic “Fashion Croc”, in the hope that they will bring those who have remained free under their plastic heel.
It is not tragedy enough that the lowly plastic peasant shoe Crocs are already being worn by the misguided Wal-Mart peoples in their sweat pants and NASCAR gear?
Must we now also endure the sight of the normal peoples wearing the so-called “Fashion Croc”?
¡No Pasarán! Shouts the Manolo, “They Shall Not Pass!”
Here we must draw the line, here we must defend that which we hold sacred!
Join the Manolo in speaking out against this abomination. Do not let your friends buy these shoes, and shun anyone who dares wear them on the street. Our greatest weapon is social pressure which much be applied liberally and forcefully.
Stop the Fashion Croc! ¡A Las Barricadas!
June 6th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
This is a disgrace! Those boots are horrendous. My eyes, they hurt!!!
I blame Birkenstocks. Then I blame Uggs. They were the first “but they’re so comfortable” travesties.
Crocs are their evil spawn. And now the spawn are spawning!
June 6th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Manolo was the first person I thought of when I saw this story today! And this is exactly as horrified a response as this news deserves!
No more money to the evil Croc empire!
June 6th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
“Join the Manolo in speaking out against this abomination.”
Hahahahaha! I have one misguided friend who loves the Crocs, despite the fact that every time we meet, I tell her, “Crocs are an abomination!” I shall continue my crusade.
June 6th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Imagine the static electricity those nasties would generate… enough to down a crocodile? We can only hope…
June 7th, 2007 at 12:24 am
Hmmm.
I’m sorry to say that my 6 year old niece loves her Crocs and absolutely refuses to give them up.
And yes, they’re lime green and ugly beyond belief.
June 7th, 2007 at 9:02 am
I dunno, I sort of like those putty colored boots on the left. *ducks* What? They’re not that bad!
June 7th, 2007 at 10:54 am
I must now go scrub my eyeballs with a brillo pad.
June 7th, 2007 at 11:44 am
One day there will be a law that mandates that a woman cannot own more than three pairs of shoes.
June 7th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Oh, poor, misguided Jackbesimple. What you do not realize is that because women wear pants (of varying lengths), skirts (of varying lengths) and shorts (of varying lengths), by sheer necessity we must have more shoes than the typical man, whose wardrobe tends to consist solely of pants (in one length) and shorts (of one length).
That’s the practical reason. The other reason is that women (and many men) enjoy beautiful things. And if one is spending one’s own money on their shoes, then what business is it of anybody else’s?
June 7th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
What an impressive response.
June 7th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
They are unattractive, to be sure, but I am going to take the optimistic point of view and predict that the hubris and ambition of the crocmakers will be their downfall. True, they have been successful so far, but they have made it based on the “cheap, comfortable and ugly” paradigm, appealing those who feel the only purpose of wearing shoes is because many businessplaces will not serve you if you are barefoot and that thirty dollars is as much as you should spend on any item of clothing. I may be generalizing here, but I don’t think these are the people who will be inclined to spend $300 on brightly-colored but otherwise very ordinary wedge boots.
Then again, I could be wrong.
June 7th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
They don’t look any less hideous to me than the plastic clogs. $300. for that orange nightmare? Are they kidding? Not out of my purse.
June 7th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Out of curiosity, if you (the readers) did not know that those boots were Crocs, would there be this loud outcry and the waving of torches and pitchforks? To be honest, they don’t look that bad. Sure, plastic is not the best material for shoes, but visually, at least on the computer screen, they are not hideous.
June 7th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Crocs or not, those are some hideous boots.
June 7th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
No! No! No! No!
One of the proudest moments of my life is when my five year old, who aspires to be a Ninja Princess, refused to wear the Crocs purchased for her by a well meaning Great-Aunt.
And they were pink, with embedded rhinestones. Which is like Crack to a five year old ninja princess.
She won’t wear them. Because they are ugly!
I swear, I had to wipe away a tear.
June 7th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Crocs are possibly the worst of the ugly shoes - they’ve combined the cloddiness and awkward shape of the Birkenstock with bright colored plastic-rubberiness that just seems like it would make the wearers’ feet sweat uncontrollably.
Ew, now I’ve grossed myself out.
June 8th, 2007 at 11:13 am
I dunno, I sort of like those putty colored boots on the left. *ducks* What? They’re not that bad!
Saints forgive me, I like them too. Hold me. *whimpers*
June 8th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
There is no way, nothing that can convince me, not even if someone handed me a free pair: there is nothing on this Earth that can make me put a pair of *plastic shoes* on my feet.
For me, it’s got to be leather. Richard Zech or nothing at all!
Thank you!
June 9th, 2007 at 7:01 am
i will never ever wear a hideous shoe only because its comfortable…not even when im 80!!! and plastic on shoes is just a BIG no no…for everyone..
June 9th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
How on Earth did the Manolo know about the Niwot in Colorado? I once had a dear friend who lived there.
June 11th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Fashion CROCK.
August 22nd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I think I’ll take the fashion hit and pass on these in favor of my comfortable and reliable thigh-high flats…
At least they’re real, instead of real gross…
November 14th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
I think crocs are nice and comfortable. Why do you guys have such a crusade against them? Why don’t you pick on piercing and tattoos.