Manolo says, the Manolo he calls this episode the “Ice Capades Costume of Dread”, in which our young designers they come up with the unattractive, spangly garb for the spunky little skater.

Ugh.

Yes, now that the Manolo he thinks about it, he supposes that someone must design the skating costume, that they do not pop organically from the forehead of Brian Boitano. But the question it is who? The Manolo he had always assumed that it was the overbearing ice-skating stage mother who did this. (Yes, the Manolo he knows all about the Vera Wang, but still the point it holds.)

So, everyday one learns something new. Today, it is that the ice skating costumes they are actually “designed”.

With this in mind, it is clear to the Manolo that this challenge it was specifically constructed to make everyone involved look like the fools. Trust the Manolo it succeeded, succeeded to the point that even the joyously evil Santino was reduced to the sputtering, despondent impotence.

As for the costumes produced by this competition they were uniformly, irredeemably awful.

The delightful Daniel V’s it looked like the cheap lingerie; the Andae’s like it was pulled from the laundry basket of the Grace Jones; the Kara’s faux flapper, whatever, meh; the Chloe like the wild shimmy-shammy artificial Charlie Brown Christmas tree; the Nick’s costume was the lopsided wonder; the Santino’s, in the front it was all Stravinsky’s Le Sacre du Printemps, in the back it was Junk in the Trunk.

As for the winner and the loser, the Manolo he was sad to see the eternally befuddled Emmett go, not because he didn’t deserve to go, but because he was tossed over the board while wearing the hot pink shirt. Ayyyyyy, the ignominy!

Also, the Manolo he does not know what the Anne Slowey was smoking, but the Emmett’s costume it was not terribly vulgar, not given the stripper on ice standards of the modern ice skating.

The winner Zulema, deserved it because she worked the material in the beautiful and innovative manner. Unfortunately she cut the final product to down to the mons veneris, producing something the Manolo thinks of as the “Virgin Ice Ho”.

Ayyyyyy! The Manolo he wishes to now put this entire episode out of his mind. We shall not mention it again.