Project Runway 3, Week 2

Manolo says, of the course the Malan could not design the pageant gown! What true classic villian could design the pageant gown?

Such bubbly happy things are like the Kryptonite to the villians, guaranteed to bring them to their knees.

Yes, we were as the viewers supposed to feel the pity for the Malan, all because the Mother of the Malan had such cruel words for his designs.

The Manolo asks you, though, what villian has ever had the pleasant childhood? Such are the nasty experiences that make the villians.

No, the Manolo blames the producers of the Project Runway for allowing the the Malan to be eliminated early. Better to have taken his schlumping, whining, talentless partner, the Katherine as the mostly innocent sacrifice, so as to allow the Malan to survive to trouble us later with his Igor-like laugh, his strange, Englishy accent, his pasty white skin and the slick dark hair. (In the movie versions, the Malan is certain to be played by the Alan Rickman.)

Of the course, it goes almost without the saying that his dress it was bad, so very, very bad. But did not the Santino survive the worse disasters in the last season? For the example, the ridiculous wickety-wack Spring Time for Hitler underwear, which was accompanied by the lengthy runway argument with the Nina.

The problem for the Malan it is that this season has the surfeit of potential villians.

Case in the point, Angela, the crunchy hippy crafter who turns out to be the complete snake-in-the-macramé, unable to sketch, unable to do anything to help the so very annoying, panic-prone, and shouty Vicent avoid putting the silly sleeves on his gown.

Or consider the handsome and serpentine Keith who attempted to charm the big-haired young Delta Burke out of her gown and into his. Ayyyyy! Too much sultry and manipulative eye contact for the comfort of the Manolo!

Then there is the Jeffrey, he of the aggressive neck tattoo and the overblown/insecure ego, you know him, the one who is certain to go postal at some point in the season.

And so sadly for the Malan, the herd of the villians had grown too large and needed the culling.

As for the winners, the Kayne and the Robert, it was like watching the dinner theater remake of the movie Miss Congeniality III, in which the designer of Barbie clothes combines with the beauty pageant consultant from Oklahoma to produce the Bob Mackie-esque mermaid gown for the attractive but personality-challenged beauty queen. Zzzzzz. Wake the Manolo when the Hasselhoff makes his cameo as the celebrity judge.

Speaking of the celebrity judges and the boredom, where was the Michael Kors? In the stead, we were given the very nice, very un-bitchy, mostly boring Vera Wang, wearing her customary black uniform.

Finally, once again, the Manolo considered the design of the Laura and the Michael Knight to be the stand out. The gown had the beautiful clean lines and the bling-bling sparkle that the Manolo thought made it most arresting. Perhaps the judges considered the white color as not being appropriate to the occasion.

Ayyyyyyyy! Come back Malan, all is forgiven!