NOV
2006
01

The Horror

Manolo says, Ayyyyyyy! The Izzy Gallant has found the most terrifying Halloween photo!

Non-Fan Mail for the Manolo

Manolo says, not every person agrees with the suggestion the Manolo made in his most recent column.

Your suggestion that $449 shoes would be an appropriate accessory for a Halloween costume demonstrates that you don’t know your readers and don’t take their questions or pocketbook constraints seriously. Very few of your readers would be willing to spend $449 on any pair of shoes, let alone a pair which is meant to be worn for one night only. Sabrina the sexy witch would have benefited from a realistic recommendation in the realm of $50. Spending more than that on a Halloween costume, let alone breaking triple digits, would be an irresponsible move for even the classiest of Halloween revelers. The readers of your Express column are taking public transportation and picking up a free newspaper. We’re not cheap, but you can bet we will never, ever spend $449 on shoes. Your recommendation was ludicrous, wholly unhelpful, and a tad insulting to someone who wrote to you genuinely seeking fashion advice.

Kate

Ayyy! Many apologies to the Kate.

It was not clear in the column, but it was the intention of the Manolo to recommend boots which could be worn proudly long after the Halloween was over.Butane by Charles David     Manolo Likes!  Click!

These boots by the Charles David they are not costumey. They are handsome and edgy, the sort of boot which almost any super fantastic woman, the sexy witch or no, would be most happy to wear.

As for the matter of the cost. The Manolo will admit that the $449 of the American dollars is the not inconsiderable sum. However, as the long-time internet friends of the Manolo know, the Manolo believes that one should never wear the cheap shoes.

Indeed, it has been the experience of the Manolo that the $50 boots are not even worth that amount. Here for the example is the pair of the $50 boots available for purchase at the Zappos.

Cheap boot made from plastic!   Manolo Hates!  Do Not Click!

Yes, when you first see these boots, at the distance, sitting on the shelf at the Meglo-Mart, they appear to be attractive.

As you approach, however, you will notice that they are not made of the leather, but of something which is euphemistically called the “man-made material”, the abhorrent combination of the plastic and the cardboard recycled from the discarded juice boxes and colored with the carcinogenic dyes.

This material, it will not breathe properly and will undoubtedly give you persistent toenail fungus.

Worse, because these shoes have been assembled in Myanmar by pre-pubescent workers chained to the sewing machines, they will not fit properly. (If you do not believe the Manolo, read the reviews at the Zappos.)

Trust the Manolo, there are few things that will sour your experience as the sexy witch faster than the unsightly cankles. You will attempt to be all Serena, but will end up looking like the Broomhilda.

It is the simple fact that the well-made and handsome shoes–shoes which make their wearers stand taller, walk straighter, and feel better about themselves–cost money, but it most of the cases is the money well-spent.