AUG
2007
17

Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, pages 260-261

When I took stock of my personal relationships, I realized there was a lot of work to be done. I believe a man needs a wife just as much as children need a mother, so it was a very, very difficult time for me to cope with the new arrangements. The only thing that kept me going was the love of my children.

Hayley was quite funny about my dating. When a twenty-year-old girl tried to hit on me, she said, ‘Dad, that is appalling — that girl is twenty and she only likes you because you’re a celebrity.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

‘And she only likes you because you’re rich.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

So Hayley put an age limit on my dating partners: no one younger than thirty-five, but after a while I negotiated that down to twenty-eight.

The Word of the Hoff!

AUG
2007
17

The Crocs Mammoth

crocs_mammoth.jpgcrocs_mammoth1.jpg

Manolo says, yes, these are exactly what the appear to be, the death of civilization as we know it.

Formerly, one could take comfort in the fact that the odious Crocs could not be worn in the depths of winter. Now, with the introduction of the fake-fur-lined Crocs, such bare solace is gone.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend Linda for alerting him to this abomination.

AUG
2007
17

Manolo the Columnist

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.


Dear Manolo,

In two weeks I’m heading off to the Ivy League college of my dreams. Can you recommend a pair of stylish boots that won’t leave me broke?

Jenna

Manolo says, ayyyy! Congratulations to the Manolo’s friend!

Sadly, the Manolo himself never enjoyed the benefits of the college education, as in his early adult years he was too busy working away at his chosen profession, shoe polishing.

But, he is happy to report that he now counts many graduates of the Ivy Leagues among his friends. Oh how the Manolo envies them and their college experiences: the binge drinking, the cramming for the tests, the incoherent lectures by the tenured savants, the late night “bull” sessions that devolve into fistfights with the unhygienic roommates.

But, in the end, it is all worth it, if only for the frequent and importuning calls, letters, and emails from the alumni “development” officers. And, of the course, for the opportunity to casually drop the words “went to school in New Haven” into any conversation.

As for your boot, here is the Canter from the Etienne Aigner, the handsome and reasonably priced riding boot in the chocolate color that would be the versatile addition to your wardrobe.

Canter by Etienne Aigner   Manolo likes!  Click!