Readings from the Book of Hasselhoff

Manolo says, daily readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Today, page 103.

Nobody knew I was in town so I enjoyed the freedom of not having to worry about paparazzi. Every day I’d drive across town from my rented apartment to visit my voice teacher and then go to the studio to record. One afternoon I had stopped at some lights when I saw a boy and a girl walking home from schoool wearing Knight Rider backpacks. I rolled down the window

‘Excuse me, have you seen KITT?’

‘Errrrrrr, no.’

‘My name is Michael Knight and I seem to have lost my car.’

They seemed rooted to the spot.

‘Well, guys, if you do see my car please say I’m looking for him. Here are some pictures to remember me by.’

As I drove away, I looked in the mirror and the kids were screaming and jumping in the air.

P.S. Previous readings from Don’t Hassel the Hoff.

The Word of the Hoff!


Juliette Lewis is Little Edie

Manolo says, watch this video from (you must first sit through the ad)…

And then tell the Manolo it does not remind you of this…

The bizarre headgear, the odd songs, the dissociative ramblings…Ayyyy!

Juliette Lewis is Little Edie, but without the fashion sense or the pleasant personality.

P.S. Via the Manolo’s internet friend Michele at My Fashion Life


Scary Movies

Manolo says, ayyyyy! Lagerfeld Confidential is coming to the Film Forum.

If you do not consider this ominous news, just read at the quote that accompanies this announcement…

“I don’t want to be a reality in people’s lives. I want to be like an apparition.” – Karl Lagerfeld

Ayyyyyyyyyyyy! We are all going to be haunted by Lagerfeld!


How to Look Fifteen Years Older in Six Weeks

Manolo says, Ayyyyyy! Here from the Daily Mail is news of the social experiment gone horribly awry.

But over the past six weeks, Nicky, 42, has cut this daily routine, and all the products associated with it, out of her life altogether. Yes, for 40 days and 40 nights, there has been no showering, no hair washing, no teeth cleaning and no deodorant.

She has ditched her make-up and hair styling products, and allowed herself access to just three outfits (her running kit, a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, and one summer dress).

So what has been behind this bizarre behaviour? A bout of madness? A desire to lose all her friends? Nicky, a mother-of-three who lives in Kidderminster and works as a television documentary maker, claims it’s the first scientific experiment of its kind, designed to find out how she will look and feel without the aid of the avalanche of expensive modern beauty products.

And what was the predictable result?

Cavities, stench, greasy hair, and social ostracism.

However, it wasn’t until the fourth day of not washing that Nicky began to notice a certain odour emanating from her person.

“My hair quickly became pretty unpleasant,” says Nicky. “Normally, I’d wash my hair every day, use a thickening conditioner, then I’d style it with mousse and hairspray.

“Within a few days it turned into a bird’s nest and instead of allowing it to fall flatteringly around my face, I’d taken to pulling it all back into a ponytail.

“I’d heard that hair begins to clean itself after a few weeks, using oils which are naturally secreted by the body, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to wait that long. I was only four days in and I felt so unpleasant all over that I wanted to quit.”

By the second week, Nicky’s experiment and the subsequent haze of body odour accompanying her was beginning to affect her children, who refused to cuddle her.

This is why the Manolo never goes camping.


Manolo the Columnist

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

Can I, or can I not, wear white shoes after Labor Day. My mother says “no”, my sister says “yes”. I’m confused, please help.


Manolo says, it would not be late August if the Manolo were not required to answer for his friends the eternal question, “when is it proper to wear the white shoes.”

Happily for many, and to the chagrin of the few, the Manolo’s response to this question has not changed for many years now. Yes, you may wear the white shoes after the end of the summer.

Certainly, the Manolo is the traditionalist, one who believes that our standards of dress and comportment have slipped badly in recent times, but the Manolo is also the realist one who recognizes that this ancient and petty dictum had outlived it usefulness in the modern age.

So, unless you are having the high tea with the ladies of the Biloxi Garden Society, this is the rule you can safely ignore well into the fall, but only if the weather remains hot and sunny, as white shoes are indeed summer weather shoes.

Here is the Emmy by Kate Spade the white shoe with the brown leather trim that would allow you to stylishly make the transition from summer to fall.

Emmy by Kate Spade   Manolo Likes!  Click!