Linda Grant Replies
Manolo says, Manolo’s very good friend Linda Grant, author of the wonderful piece in the Guardian about the declining standards of dress and comportment, has returned to add more to our very vibrant discussion of this important topic.
I would like to thank those of you who responded so positively to my Guardian piece about declining standards of dress. I believe that dressing appropriately for the occasion is simply a question of good manners, as well as to give ourselves the pleasure of wearing whatever in our wardrobes is best, just as we vary our diet, adorn our homes with nice things, and enjoy a beautiful view. In the past, even the most impoverished families, had garments that they called their ‘Sunday best’ clothes which they wore for special occasions. The dumbing down of dress is in part a product of prosperity, for when a pair of jeans can cost as much as an evening gown, who knows who is expensively dressed?
The morning the article came out, a friend reminded me that at her brother’s wedding, a few years ago, one guest arrived at the reception in shorts. Now the bride and groom were theatre folk, not actors, but a writer and a director, and one sensed that this minor celeb simply felt that the happy couple were simply not important enough to get dressed up for. The true star among the guests, Hugh Laurie (of ‘House’) and his wife were dressed entirely appropriately for a July wedding, she in a hat. As someone in the comments remarked – class, you’ve got it or you haven’t.
Two people who have class are Tizzy and her husband, who, unable to celebrate their wedding anniversary at an expensive restaurant, went to an ordinary one and dressed up anyway, he in a tie and she in a cocktail dress bought on the clearance rack for $9.99. Mr and Mrs Tizzy understand the notion of a memorable occasion. I thought of them last night at a glittering event held here in London, the private view of the new exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum on the Golden Age of Couture. For standing in front of me as we listened to a speech by Ines de la Fressange, once a Chanel model, was a woman who had chosen from her entire wardrobe to wear at this event – jeans and a t-shirt. Mr and Mrs Tizzy, despite their modest income, would, I know, have nonetheless found the prefect outfits to have attended such an occasion. To be well-dressed comes not from the bank balance, but what is inside your own head.
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Comments
linda grant 18 years ago
The photograph of Quentin Tarantino was taken at the £1000 a ticket gala opening of the V&A couture show. To gauge how appropriately Tarantino was dressed for the occasion, check here
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/main.jhtml;jsessionid=YRXN5CQXPK2Z3QFIQMGSFF4AVCBQWIV0?xml=/fashion/2007/09/19/efcouture119.xml
deja pseu 18 years ago
Funny she mentions Hugh Laurie and his wife. Last year we spotted them while dining out and I remarked to the hubby how nicely dressed they were, as compared to most H’wood types who seem to feel that jeans and baseball caps are appropriate fine dining apparel.
Victor 18 years ago
Miss Grant, thank you, very much, for continuing this discussion with us. Your continued insight is invaluable to me.
angelhair 18 years ago
Darn. I just contributed a very long post to the other thread – should have saved it for this one!
All is not lost. At my son’s bar mitzvah this past spring almost everyone (adults and teens alike) were dressed very appropriately. I was most impressed with the kids. My son goes to a very ethnically and economically diverse NYC public school and has a wide range of friends. With the exception of two boys who came looking like they had just rolled out of bed (and who are upper middle class white kids) every other child (black, hispanic, asian, white) at the party looked amazing, the girls in beautiful and age-appropriate party dresses and the boys in very nice suits. I’ve seen how most of these kids dress on a casual basis and I was astonished that they all looked so beautiful. Kudos to them and especially to their parents!
ang 18 years ago
I’m an attorney and this casualness is even seeping into some law firms. It used to be that at some firms, especially big ones, it was a gray or navy suit (had to be dark) shirt and tie were the only acceptable clothes for a male attorney. Female attorneys had to wear a matching suit (no slacks or skirt and coordinating blazer), stockings, and pumps. I am glad it has loosened up some. I love to wear dresses with a blazer and I hate stockings but it is starting get ridiculous. I’ve seen attorneys (all male) show up to depositions in jeans and go to pretrials (at the court w/ the judge!) in khaki’s and a button down or polo. And once I saw a female attorney attend a hearing in Birkenstocks!
Toby Wollin 18 years ago
The president of our company, in his efforts to “raise the level” here has started to dress more formally on Fridays (sort of the “anti-casual Friday”) and let it be known to his immediate subordinates that he expected them to raise their level of dress accordingly. So far…the best I’ve seen is one manager who now wears socks with his loafers. Sigh.
Annalucia 18 years ago
“…the new exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum on the Golden Age of Couture.”
Upon reading this sentence the Annalucia felt her heart begin to race madly. As she cannot realistically hop on a plane to London, she hopes there is a catalog available.
She will add that there is another reason for dressing properly, as vividly illustrated by Mr. P.J. O’Rourke in his essay “With Hostage and H ijacker in Sunny Beirut.” (Fear not, this will not be a political discourse, but a sartorial one.) The PJ was in Beirut in 1986 when some American tourists were being held hostage there (and all were later released unharmed, so do not worry) and at one point their captors brought them to the Summerland hotel for dinner:
“Let me tell you, they looked terribble. I don’t mean they looked abused. They just looked like American tourists do everywhere — elastic-waisted loaf-around slacks, T-shirts with dim slogans and embarrassing place names, waffle-soled sandals worn with socks. These people had been thrust into a dramatic situation with vast international implications and, frankly, they weren’t dressed for it.”
Perhaps this is something that the Aggressively Casual should consider. “If I am ever taken hostage, which God forbid, and my picture is being flashed across television screens worldwide, do I really want to add to my family’s grief and anxiety by appearing in the garb of a tenth-rate circus clown?”
linda grant 18 years ago
Here is a link to amazon uk where you can buy the catalogue. I have it and it is well worth the money wich some superb essays and illustrations
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Golden-Age-Couture-London-1947-1957/dp/185177520X/ref=sr_1_1/202-0383355-7376605?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1190312045&sr=1-1
Tizzy 18 years ago
*blushes* Thank you, I am very flattered. And I’m very lucky to have the sort of guy who would suggest it in the first place.
However, I should probably clarify that Mr. Tizzy and I are not married. Looking back I bascially said we were (calling him Mr. Tizzy is so much more fun than calling him the boyfriend). It was the anniversary of our first date. Personally, I don’t think this diminishes out classyness, though. Classyness… is that a word?
Also, I am ten kinds of jealous. I want to spend my evening at the Victoria and Albert Museum in a pretty dress. Heck, I’ll spend my day there in slacks. I am all about 19th century British history.
Meg 18 years ago
At a friend’s wedding, one of the guests – I believe the best man – was actually wearing jeans and a wife-beater. The bridesmaids were wearing flip flops.
The marriage didn’t last long enough for a proper honeymoon. Need I say any more?
Livia 18 years ago
My brother got married in a church. Our entire family dressed up for the occasion. My brother’s friends showed up in tank tops, dirty shorts, and flip flops. Not kidding. I wondered how he could possibly know so many revoltingly incorrect people. Still haven’t figured it out. It really happens.
jakjak 18 years ago
Looking at that picture of Quentin Tarantino, I’m guessing he didn’t dress up because he considers himself “too cool” or that dressing up is too “establishment” for the art crowd. However, I fear the pendulum has swung the other way – it is now so common to not dress up that to be well dressed is to stand out. Being sloppily dressed is no longer a statement its a standard.
Start dressing well people
Vive la Revolution
18 years ago
While I agree with almost everything Angelhair says in her comment, she does remind me of one of my pet peeves. Why is it that so many top designers do not offer shoes in narrow and wide sizes? I just took a quick look at the Neiman Marcus website to check and found that a beautiful Armani shoe that was featured and another by Christian Louboutin were only available in B widths. Angelhair, better the orthopedic inspired sandals than the cast applied by the orthopedic surgeon to correct problems caused by poorly fitting shoes. So, thank goodness for Stuart Weitzman and Ferragamo for those of us with AAAA and C!
Eilish 18 years ago
To this day when I visit my grandmother, we dress for dinner. Nothing formal, but the men make sure to wear a clean shirt, tucked in, preferably a polo or button-down. All the ladies make sure to fix their hair and freshen up so we look our best (oh, and don’t forget earrings).
When I was young, I thought it was silly, but it is such a nice way to end the day and I love the idea of making sure you look nice for family and friends at a family dinner, even if it is just a Tuesday!