Manolo says, here are the few links which may perhaps amuse…
Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk after the very tiring weekend of nostalgia and regret, the weekend of your 25th college reunion.
It was wonderful to see all of your old friends and acquaintances, and to note, with both satisfaction and alarm, how they have have become middle aged peoples, with gray hairs, spreading bellies, and enough wrinkly crows feets to constitute the murder.
Although your college boyfriend, the aspiring film director who had majored in pot smoking and ultimate frisbee, looked better than ever, like the bronzed Greek god — tall, lean, and tanned, with the full head of beautiful, naturally highlighted, wavy hair — the consequence of spending most of his days in the water off of Point Dume (and his evenings parking cars at the fancy Italian restaurant off of Wilshire Boulevard).
“I’d describe myself as an independent filmmaker and producer,” he said, while Gary, your husband, flirted with the young, porn-starish blond who accompanied your ex. “I’ve got a couple things in development, and my latest short is up is up to 7,100 hits on YouTube.”
Of course, much more disturbing was the appearance of the skinny Pakistani boy, Nayyar, who had latched onto you during your senior year, utterly besotted.
He was sweet in that unworldly, innocent, geeky way–tall and skinny with the prominent nose and wild hair. But, because he was harmless, you never had the heart to tell him to get lost, even as he shadowed you from class to lunch to class, never taking the not so subtle hints that he should go away for the few minutes. (At graduation, when you met his parents, you realized that he had been describing you to them as his “special friend” and that they had expected, with some alarm, that the proposal would follow. )
But there he was at the reunion, in his bespoke Saville Row suit, looking like 743 million dollars (according to Forbes), with homes in London, Singapore, New York, and Gastaad, and his own very successful international equities hedge fund. He had filled out marvelously, become more refined and better looking, and was now objectively hunky, a testament to the powers of expensive tailors, barbers, and personal trainers. And look at his wife! She could be Padma Lakhsmi’s younger, better-looking, more cultured sister.
Naturally, Nayyar and his wife were seated at the same table with you and Gary during the gala dinner, which, oddly turned out to be great fun. The wife was charmingly funny and smart, and Gary, the hale-fellow everyman, bonded with Nayyar over the lengthy discussion of riding mowers.
“Was Nayyar the fellow you and your sister call the ‘Wacky Pak’?” Gary asked, later that night in the hotel, “He doesn’t seem very wacky.”
And now this morning, back at desk, all you can think about were the shoes on Nayyar’s wife’s beautifully elegant feet.. Moira Cutout Patent Pumps from Christian Louboutin!
Manolo says, here, from two years ago, is the blog posting that is appropriate to today’s holiday.
Manolo says, the Manolo’s internet friend Charlotte has reminded the Manolo that today is St. Crispin’s Day, the feast day for the twin saints Crispin and Crispian, two of the most important of the patron saints of the cobbler.
What many of the Manolo’s friends may not know is that few occupations have as many patron saints as that of the shoemakers. Indeed, the distinction of patron may be applied to several dozen holy figures of the past ( the partial list of which may be seen at this website), including such luminaries as Catherine of Alexandria, Mary Magdalene, Homobonus, and Gangolfo.
Also not well known, is that most of these tutelary saints began life as aristocrats who later humbled themselves in the service of God, producing through the honest labor of their hands beautiful shoes for the those who had none. This is why shoemaking has historically been called the “Noble or Gentle Craft“, because its patrons saints were usually nobility.
But none of this is news to those few who have read the Manolo’s Consolation of the Shoes, which describes in detail the period in the young Manolo’s life when he was ardently devoted to the cults of many of these noble saints.
And now, in secular celebration of this holy day, the Manolo gives you that most appropriate of poems, The Shoemakers, by John Greenleaf Whittier.
Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.
I need a bit of extra help. I’ve been living in Central Asia for the past 6 years, so I’ve been out of the fashion loop for awhile and don’t know what’s in style. I have a great denim pencil skirt which I could wear with slides over the summer, but what to do now that it’s cooler? I tried it with boots but it looked like I was wearing Wellingtons and a gunny sack. Don’t worry, it’s not a long skirt. At least, I know that the hippie/granny thing is a faux pas.
Manolo says, the way the Manolo’s friend has described her exile, it is as if she were the movie star trapped on Gilligan’s Island, without access to Vogue or basic cable television.
And now the rescue boat has arrived, and she realizes that she has been wearing the same out-of-date, peach-colored, Bob Mackie gown for the whole six years.
“Ayyyyy! Professor Manolo, help me!” She shouts, “the paparazzi will be waiting for me at the pier. Hurry! Style me to so I may not be embarrassed by my photo on the cover of People”
“Here,” says the Professor Manolo, “I have fashioned you this denim pencil skirt out of the Skipper’s pants. Wear it with these thick, ribbed tights and these retro, oxford-style suede booties which have washed ashore. They are the Elise from Via Spiga, and I have scientifically calculated that the trends this year include ankle boots such as these and patterned tights, so you should be fine.”
Manolo says, this is perhaps the happiest, most heart-warmingest video the Manolo has seen all month.
Manolo says, here are the few links which may perhaps amuse…
“I’ve always preferred the creative process of designing and selling clothes to the idea of putting on a poncey fashion show [….] It would be wonderful if fashion shows died out completely. They’re so time-consuming and costly.”