Senex Amator, Hefner Edition

No fool, like an old fool.

Crystal Harris and the corpse of her great-grandfather.

Manolo says, in today’s big news: Elderly Gentleman Hires Busty Home Health Aide.

Hugh Hefner’s Christmas was extra, extra jolly this year: He’s engaged again!

The Playboy founder, 84, is engaged to Crystal Harris, his 24-year-old girlfriend and Playmate, a Playboy rep confirms to

Hefner first Tweeted about it on Sunday. “When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears,” the Girls Next Door star wrote. “This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory…I got what I was hoping for for Christmas…Crystal’s love.”

“and mashed peas, daggummit! Mashed peas and apple sauce and someone to help change my bed pans.”

P.S. Senex Amator & Senex Amator, Oscar Edition!

P.P.S. Senex Amator???