Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

In September, I’m hitting a milestone, the Five Oh. In honor of this auspicious event, I’ve been on a program of making myself over. I’ve lost weight, read some classic books I’d been putting off, grown my hair longer, and invested in a new, more elegant wardrobe. Now, I need some shoes to show off the new me. Please suggest something wonderful, something that works with black silk for my big night of celebration.

Kim

Manolo says, this is the best sort of midlife crisis, the one in which the person works diligently to improve herself physically and mentally.

How often do we hear about the lady of the certain age who, determined to grasp one last time at the thorn bush of super sexiness, has spent her efforts on six-inch stripper heels, hootchie mama booty shorts, and Dr. Roberto Rey’s Patented Plastic F-cup Bosoms.

Ayyyy! Such folly!

Manolo says, booty shorts do not light the path to personal enlightenment.

Indeed, booty shorts most often light the path to the Tackle Box Bait Shop and Karaoke Beer Bar, which is famous for its policy of “Budweiser for Booty Tipsy Tuesdays”, proudly heralded with banners promising “Tuesday Nights: Ladies With Junk in the Trunk, Come in Sober, Go Home Drunk.”

Look! Here is the Logan D’Orsay Glitter Pump from Jimmy Choo, perfect for your non-drunken evening of celebration!

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