Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My brother’s first cousin, a lovely and quirky woman, is getting married in a “steampunk wedding” (the invitation looked like a P.T. Barnum broadside). We’ve been encouraged to “dress in the spirit of the occasion”. Please help.

Marissa

Manolo says, the Manolo is of the two minds about the “theme” weddings. On the one of the hands, if the simple and heartfelt ceremony featuring the groom in his best suit, and the bride in the tea-length gown of modest cut was good enough for your grandparents – who have been blissfully wed for more than fifty of the years – then why is it not good enough for you?

And yet, on the other of the hands, if dressing up like the Captain Kirk and the green-skinned Alien Space Princess, and convincing your Presbyterian minister, Reverend Bob, to pronounce you “successfully beamed aboard” in the fake Scottish accent is your fondest wish, then who is the Manolo to stand in the way of happiness?

So, how does one “dress in the spirit” of steampunkery, which the Manolo sees largely as the cockeyed Victoriana accessorized with superfluous brass gears and top hats. To which the Manolo replies, just because you have been invited to the cannibal feast does not mean you have to wear the loincloth. Perhaps, all that is actually needed is the pair of retro-inspired shoes, yes?

Here is the Lover from John Fluevog, the mid-calf boot that is sufficiently outrageous so as to meet the requirements.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m turning thirty the first week in October and my sister has booked an all day trip aboard a double-decker sightseeing bus for my family and I to celebrate the occasion. I normally live in sneakers but since I will be wearing a dress, I’ll need something that’s comfy yet durable with a feminine edge to it. Any suggestions?

Elizabeth

Manolo says, ayyyy! Thirty is the new fifteen! Time to put on the party dress and the big girl, grown up shoes for the Quinceañera!

The curmudgeonly Old Man Manolo remembers when being the grown up was considered the desirable thing, seen by the teenagers as the magical time filled with such adult delights as the cocktail parties, black coffee and cigarettes, wearing the tailored suits, and talking knowingly about the Italian movies with the long and confusing dream sequences.

Now, all of the grown ups want to continue to be the teenagers, wearing the cutoff shorts, flipity-flops, and Justin Beiber t-shirts well into their sixties, swooning over the latest release of the Grand Theft Auto, and texting their homies down at the senior center about the Miley Cyrus twerking debacle.

“OMG, U SEE DAT, BRO?”

The Manolo says, it is time to grow up. Time to embrace the joys of adulthood! It is fun to be fifty, and it is the most fun of all when you are just eighteen!

Here is the Borders from the Rachey Comey in the shadow croc finish, the sexy grown up bootie, perfect for wearing on the birthday party bus.