MAY
2011
03

FN Shoe Star Episode 14

Manolo says, and now the 14th Episode of the FN Shoe Star is available for your on-line viewing enjoyment.

And, as it turns out, the Manolo was wrong last week when he predicted that Keena would be sent away for designing the all-black wedding shoe. Likewise, he would not have thought that Matthew would have won yet again. But, such is the nature of these reality show contests in which the punishment and the reward are rarely meted out in accordance with one’s expectations.

And so, it was Shannon, the most delightfully quirky of the designers, who was sent away for her asymmetrical, lace-bedecked wedding shoe, while Matthew was awarded the prize for the third week in the row.

Next week, Fergie!

FN Shoe Star, Episode 13

Manolo says, here you see above the 13th episode of the FN Shoe Star, in which the remaining contestants take their Vera Wang wedding shoes to the judges table.

First, the Manolo is happy to see that, at the least, one of the designers has taken the Manolo’s advice to change the hair style

Shannon's Old Hair

Before

Shannon's Hair

After, and After the After

Slow down, girlfriend, you’ll go bald.

As for the shoes that were presented to the judges, which included the Vera Wang, they were generally not the worst, nor were they generally (nor even particularly) the best.

The Manolo predicts that Keena will be the loser. But, what did she expect? Black shoes for the wedding? Is this something that is common in the islands? Of the course, when Keena is ejected, she will not even be able to claim that she did not have the warning, as Vasilios! repeatedly questioned her judgement.

The winner will be Rachel, who was inexplicably the only contestant to make the open-toed shoe. (What were the others thinking…”hmmm, Puerto Rico? Sexy young bride? Orthopedic pumps! In black!”) Her shoe was nothing especially original, but it at the least looked like the wedding shoe.

Alexander McQueen Samurai Strappy Sandals for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk agitated and annoyed by your coworkers, which, given the nature of the modern working place is not unusual.

On the one of the hands, the actual work itself would be made immediately better if most of your coworkers were magically transported back to the Jurassic Age.

On the other of the hands, you are something of the social animal. Who would you eat lunch with if not your friends Jenny and Jane? Who would bring you the gossip from the accounting department circus if not the Brenda? How would you make it through the day if Deadpan Mike did not make his hilarious quips?

And then you get out the piece of paper, draw the line down the center, and write two words at the top of the page, on the left, “Lifeboat”, and on the right, “Sharks”.

You write Jenny, Jane, Mike, Brenda, Nice Greg from IT, and six or seven more names of those who should be allowed to join you in the Dunder Mifflin corporate lifeboat.

On the right, the chum list immediately grows to unsustainable proportions, 30 names in the first instant, and growing. It is so bad that you are reduced to using the nicknames and silly descriptions because you do not even know the names of the doomed: Curly Surly Girl, Mr. Bigshot, The Dinky Dork….

And while you are engrossed in this most satisfying exercise, someone unexpectedly steps into your cubicle.

“Hey, whacha doing?”

You hurriedly flip the page over, and look over your shoulder. Oh, thank goodness. It is just the Deadpan Mike.

“Looks like a corporate restructuring,” he says.

“It was just a, er, um, um…”

“I couldn’t really see. Did I make it into the lifeboat?”

You turn the page back over and point to his name.

“Oh, good. Don’t forget to feed Frankly Fran to the sharks.”

Frankly Fran! This is why the Deadpan Mike has earned his place in the lifeboat, because he both extra observant and extra funny. Who else but Mike would have noticed that Frances the World’s Most Annoying Actuary had the verbal tick which involved starting most sentences with the word “frankly”.

And then you have the unorthodox idea that perhaps it is the aggravating people who make your job somewhat interesting, by providing fodder for amusement.

“Nah.”

Look! Ridiculously tall shoes from the Alexander McQueen…

Alexander Mcqueen Samurai Strappy Sandal

The Samurai Strappy Sandal from Alexander McQueen with the six inches heel and platform combination that is almost silly, and yet somehow compelling.

I Want ‘em. I Buy ‘em. I Can’t Wear ‘em.

N.B. The Manolo’s internet friend Heather is not only the shoe-lover’s shoe lover, she is also the true deadpan wit, as you will see in this second installment in the Manolo’s Guest-blog-a-palooza.

High, elegant, in-step curving, vertiginous heels. I want ‘em. I buy ‘em. I can’t wear ‘em.

They line my closet shelves, singing their siren calls of elongated legs and a sexy pelvic tilt, mocking me with the knowledge that nothing about sad limping and oozing blisters is sexy. I fire back with every heel pad and shoe stickum thing on the market, but no. The burning of the balls of my feet beats me every time.

YSL Tribute Platform Sandal

YSL Tribute Platform Sandal

Sure, there are some heels I can manage and even find comfortable. God bless Stefano Pilati at YSL and Alber Elbaz at Lanvin and whomever they have hired to design their shoes…

YSL Tribute Sandals are an absolute staple in my closet – I own four pairs in different colors.

The woven satin Lanvin platforms – another slam-dunk winner.

Lanvin Woven Satin Platform Sandal

Lanvin Woven Satin Platform Sandal

So I’ve learned, platforms are important for me.

Thin soles KILL me and the platform gives me height without putting the burden solely (Ha! A pun!) on the pitch and the poor ball of my foot. (Of course, we all know how Maestro Manolo Blahnik feels about platforms.)

So what do I do? Do I limit my purchases to things I know I can manage? I wish that were the case!

Alaia Snow Leopard Hiking Boots

Alaia Snow Leopard Hiking Boots

Right now, my closet boasts a pair of Alaia Snow Leopard hiking booties and a pair of Theyskens Theory Velvet Wedge pumps.

I LOVE them! I want to wear them. I want to show them off to everyone. I don’t want to need an orthopedic device afterwards. Neither pair has been taken out of their box. They are each nestled in their tissue lined boxes – taunting me.

Don’t try to convince me that everyone suffers for high heels. I know that isn’t true.

Theyskens Theory Velvet Wedge Pumps

Theyskens Theory Velvet Wedge Pumps

Meet my sister. I swear she was born with Barbie feet. You know, the ones that, even when naked are permanently arched so as to fit only into heels?

I think my sister is more comfortable in heels than she is in flats.

And here is my sister’s other genetic gift. We wear the same size.

I buy these beauties. Ogle them in my closet. Caress them before getting dressed. Totter around my bedroom in them before thinking better of it and returning them to the box. Eventually, the shoes are packed into a shipping box and sent off to live out the rest of their natural life with my sister. I love my sister. I want her to be happy. But supplying her is not why I buy these shoes.

Barbie Feet

My sister's feet look like this.

You know what? I want a class! There are all sorts of other programs offered to women who want to make changes in their lives. You can take fitness classes, you can take dance classes, you can take life guidance classes, you can take art classes. Where are the heel walking classes? Why is my local Y not offering such things? Can I hire a personal instructor? Hey! My sister is a personal trainer and she can walk in heels. I wonder if she’s ever thought to combine the two.

Seriously, I’ve invested thousands in shoes that have only ‘visited’ with me. I have treasures in my closet right now awaiting word of their fate. I’m an educated person. I’m physically fit.

Why can’t I learn this one thing?

MAR
2011
02

Repulsive Little Fashion Troll, Part 3

Manolo says, not everyone agrees that the Galliano was the genius.

I can’t imagine why people think this troll is so very talented. He’s been taking old, dead, has-been ideas, exaggerating them to cartoon ridiculousness, staging them with massive amounts of corporate money, and justifying them with post-modern pseudo-intellectual claptrap. Galliano’s b.s. has stunk for some time now. Maybe his most recent troll behavior will force people to realize he’s not all that, and never was. In fact, if the old French houses had any brains, they’d dump posers like Galliano and embrace the 21st century. Instead, they remain mired in a ironic nostalgia, as if that were still hip! Meh– it’s not “transgressive,” it’s not even modern. It’s just a boring pastiche of the past, designed by a crew of creepy drunks and junkies– who seem to hate themselves, their jobs, and their customers!

The Manolo does not agree with this, but the stridency of the comment and the fluid manner in which it was expressed made the Manolo laugh.

MAR
2011
01

Repulsive Little Fashion Troll, Part 2

Manolo says, the Manolo’s friend Linda Grant has written the consideration of the scandale Galliano for today’s Guardian in which she determines it is all about the transgression.

According to fashion journalist Melanie Rickey, of the Fashion Editor at Large blog and Grazia, for years the industry has pushed Galliano to greater and greater extremes: “All everyone has ever wanted from John is transgressive fashion, and to use his excessive ideas to sell nice handbags and perfumes,” she says. And once you are set on a path to break taboos, it is almost impossible to find new ideas. So how on earth do you shock, when you have already exhausted S&M dungeons for ideas for haute couture? The great taboo in France and Germany is antisemitism. On this ground Jews were murdered or transported to be murdered. Watching the video of Galliano slumped alone at his bar table hurling insults at a woman who evidently asked why he didn’t make clothes that all women could wear, he spits out rage. She is ugly, he loves Hitler, he invokes the gas chambers. It’s a toxic mix of hate-speech, of racism and misogyny. How is it possible to go further than this?

Crazy, Transgressive, or Shitheel?

If you are breaker of taboos, then antisemitism is only another taboo, no different from any other. It’s the saying of the unsayable. It has become the last frontier for those demanding freedom of speech, for whom everything, even the Holocaust, is fair game. Is Galliano an actual antisemite who hates Jews? Who knows what passes through his mind, but by invoking the name of Hitler and gloating about the gas chambers, he is only doing what others have always paid him to do: shock.

It’s Galliano’s fortune and misfortune to have been named as a genius. He wants to go to the S&M clubs of the Parisian underworld and bring back chains and put it over a black leather bag and call the bag Bondage? Why not? Who would dare tell him that he has no idea what he is talking about when he says he loves Hitler, or that there is something the matter with abusing women in bars? Around him are innumerable yes men and women, bowing to his great thoughts.

Perhaps there is something to this notion of fashionable transgression taken too far. It is not as if the Manolo has not been railing for the past half decade against transgressive gestures that no longer transgress. (Here is the Manolo expressing his boredom with the Vivienne Westwood collection filled with the Nazi imagery.)

However, the Manolo thinks that perhaps the cringe-making Woody Allen quote found by the Manolo’s friend Ed Driscoll, is closer to the mark.

“Talent is absolutely luck,” he said one day while talking about his early fear of performing. “And no question that the most import thing in the world is courage. People worship talent and it’s so ridiculous. Talent is something you’re born with, like Kareem [Abdul-Jabbar] is born tall. That’s why so many talented people are shitheels.

Certainly, this judgment would seem to be applicable in the case of the repulsive little fashion troll, John Galliano.

FEB
2011
28

Repulsive Little Fashion Troll

Manolo says, to be filed under things that make the Manolo both sad and angry.

Fasion guru John Galliano was filmed having a vile racist rant during which he declared: “I love Hitler.”

The British designer – an alleged Jew hater – then tells a horrified woman: “People like you would be dead. Your mothers, your forefathers, would all be f****** gassed.”

John Galliano

Repulsive Little Fashion Troll


His tirade was videoed by a friend of the people he was insulting – who were French and Italian, but not Jewish.

Galliano, 50, was at the same Paris bar where he allegedly launched a vicious verbal attack on two people last week – which led to him being arrested and suspended by fashion label Christian Dior.

After stating he loves Hitler and making the gassing remark, a woman is heard to say, ‘Oh my God’ before asking slurring Galliano if he had a problem.

He said: “With you. You’re ugly.” Asked where he was from, he said: “Your a***hole.”

Dior should fire John Galliano. Such behavior is beyond the bounds of what should be tolerated. Nothing more needs to be said about this specific instance.

However, such repulsive behavior in one so mightily talented raises the larger question: how does one separate the art from the artist?

The sad fact is that great talent is often found in horrible people.

How can this be?

So, how does one enjoy the transcendent clothing of John Galliano without feeling that one is somehow patronizing the bigot?

How to sanction the artist, while admitting that his art brings beauty and joy to the world?

The Manolo, who loves the poetry of Ezra Pound, the music of Wagner, and the clothing of John Galliano, has no easy answer to this question.

JAN
2011
27

The Longing for Transcendence

Christian Dior, 2011 Spring Couture

Transcendent

Manolo says, not all fashion is impelled by our nostalgia for the mud, indeed, the best and most enduring fashion is inspired by our longings for transcendence.

Transcendence. We wish to move beyond ourselves, to leave behind the mundanity of our lives and be carried aloft to the higher plane, to the place where we are more beautiful, more charming, more alluring, and where we are dressed only and forever in Christian Dior, 2011 Spring Couture Collection.

Christian Dior, Spring Couture 2011

Transcendent

There is such the thing as transcendent nostalgia, the longing for the golden past, for the specific Periclean circumstances that would allow us to be more than ourselves, to be better than we are, to achieve the apotheosis of our essential humanity.

Dior Couture, Spring 2011

Transcendent

Beautiful clothing allows us to touch the hem of transcendence. What it gives is more than utility, more than adornment, more than fashion. Its true gift is the glimpse of perfection.

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.”

NOV
2010
15

Alexeander McQueen Floral Engraved Boots of Great Cost

Alexander McQueen Floral Engraved Leather Boots

Manolo says, these Alexander McQueen boots, they leave the Manolo…meh…not so excited.

What is the price? Ayyyyyyyy! The are made of pure unobtanium!

NOV
2010
09

What is Happening at Lanvin?

Manolo asks, what is happening at the Lanvin?

The torturing of the models with the agonizing shoes

Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz recently explained that he had to scrap a lot of the heels in his spring 2011 show because “We did the rehearsal and all of a sudden I saw the girls couldn’t walk. I saw the agony in their faces. They were shaking; they looked like alcoholic girls.”

.

The release of the frightening and nightmarishly surreal promotional video ..

.
The normally adorable fashion director looking like Norman Bates’ chubby cousin.

Alber Elbaz Looking Like the Axe Murderer

.
Dearest Alber, the Manolo must ask, is everything okay?

Wait the second, the Manolo seems to remember the picture from last year….

(more…)

Alexander McQueen Open-Toed Ankle Boots For the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk both exhausted and filled with candy, principally the Snickers, with the miscellaneous assortment of Skittles, Runts, Jolly Ranchers and Tootsie Rolls filling the smaller spaces in your digestive tract.

Frankly, you are agitated, your mind filled with many questions, for the example:

Query: When did the full-sized candy bar become the mark of civic generosity?

Query: Does your insistence on handing out the “Fun Size” bars of candy mean you are the bad person whose shrubbery and home should be covered in toilet paper?

Query: Were you wrong to scowl ferociously at the three hulking teenagers who came to the door late in the evening dressed as Juggalos? Did you not drop the single fun-sized Baby Ruth into each of their bulging pillowcases, despite the distaste you felt?

Query: How difficult is to get congealed egg yolk off of your automobile?

You know what it is you need now?

Shoes!

Alexander McQueen Open Toed Ankle Boots

Look! Here is the strikingly original Chinese-basket-esqe open-toed platform ankle boots from Alexander McQueen.

Exactly what is needed to erase the bitter taste of post-Halloween shame

Six Years of Shoeblogging: The Many Faces of Galliano!

N.B. In honor of the Manolo’s six years of shoeblogging, the Manolo has decided to repost this week some of his favorite pieces.

Today, the Manolo has set the Wayback machine for October 5th, 2005 to see the post about our favorite funky little fashion troll, John Galliano.

You are looking at me, am I not magnificent and seductive?

Now I will look back… Full Seduction!

At last, I am filled with disdain for you and your looking ways. Yet, is my disdain, in its own right, not also seductive?