AUG
2012
21

Shoe Personalities: Daltord from Robert Clergerie

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoes tell us much about the wearer… The Daltord from Robert Clergerie, $595. Manolo says, it is not easy being the assistant general counsel for the major, Fortune 500, consumer goods corporation, but after several years of clawing your way upward, working 80-hour weeks, and cutting the throats of your competitors and yes, occasionally, your friends, you have achieved just that. All you have to do now is wait for the general counsel–the genial dunderhead with the 4 handicap and the 28-year-old trophy wife–to mess up, and his job is yours. And…

AUG
2012
14

Shoe Personalities: Trinkletina from Irregular Choice

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoes tell us much about the wearer… The Trinkletina from Irregular Choice, $145. Manolo says, your life really changed for the better when you finally got enough money to have the full sleeve tattoo on your left arm colored in. Yes, it hurt like crazy for more than two weeks, but now all these cute young guys with mustaches and fedoras are giving you compliments on it. It is of the geisha riding a Chinese-style dragon, wielding the broad sword, and looking very kick ass. You have named the geisha, “Trixie”, because…

JUL
2012
17

Shoe Personalities: Mix No. 6 Ariel Sandal

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoes tell us much about the wearer… The Mix N. 6 Ariel Sandal, $44.95 Manolo says, you love it that your mother named you after one of the Disney princesses, well not really a princess, but a mermaid who becomes a princess, which is way more cooler, because it’s a like a transformation, and transformations are good, right? Unless you become a werewolf, like Jacob, then that would be bad, because you’re totally Team Edward. Do you want to hear like the funniest thing, ever? Your best friend from grade school was…

JUL
2012
10

Shoe Personalities: Zuden-6 from Miss Me?

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoes tell us much about the wearer… The Zuden-6 from Miss Me?, $39.99. Manolo says, hi, you’re Courtney, and you are originally from Alabama, from like this little town halfway between Cullman and Gadsden, and you were the salutatorian of your high school class, but now, at Vandy, that doesn’t really count for much. You know, it is just these sorority girls from Atlanta, who all have the blonde hair and drive BMWs. That, or acerbic Northern girls with dark hair, from places you’ve never heard of in New Jersey and Connecticut,…

JUL
2012
03

Shoe Personalities: Keen Newport H2

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoes tell us much about the wearer… The Keen Newport H2, priced at $100. Manolo says, your name is Rick. Not Ricky, Rick, and you work as the engineer for one of the oil companies doing tolerance analysis, but that is not important. What is important is that you like to run. No, you love to run, really run. Ten, fifteen, twenty miles the day, much more on the weekends. Although you run the very respectable marathon times, you have this awkward gait that forces you, when you are in the race,…

JUN
2012
25

Shoe Personalities: Phluff Daddy from O’Neill

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoe tell us much about the wearer… The Phluff Daddy from O’Neill, $18. Your name is Kenny. Not Kenneth, Kenny, and you own only four pairs of the long pants, two of them blue jeans. Your best friend in the whole world is the chocolate lab named Bo, who wears the red bandanna around his neck, limps from the little bit of doggy arthritis, and is the sort of chick magnet (although he seems to mostly draw only single-mom divorcees who work in diners, and college girls studying recreation science). You spend…

JUN
2012
19

Shoe Personalities: Kenley Lace from Promiscuous

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoe tell us much about the wearer… The Kenley Lace from Promiscuous, $48.99. Your stage name is Mercedes Luv, and you keep telling people that you are just doing this until you complete your phlebotomist certification. Although, who are you kidding? Right? On the good night you will bring home, what? $800, maybe more. And you really need that money. Mama can’t help you, her back all messed up like that, and Krystal’s baby-daddy, Ronny, is off somewhere, doing something, sending only half what the state says you deserve. So, each night,…

JUN
2012
16

Shoe Personalities: Ronnie Boot from Jeffery-West

N.B. Manolo says, because psychologists have proven what we already know, that shoes reflect the traits of those who wear them, the Manolo challenged his internet friends to say what sort of people would wear three different shoes. This shoe below is the third of three. Number 3: The Ronnie Men’s Boot from Jeffery-West, selling for the $545. Your name is not Sergio, but you wish it were. Your real name is Barry. You are 34 years old, and during the weekdays you work as the limo driver, taking businessmen back and forth to the LaGuardia and the JFK. You…

JUN
2012
14

Shoe Personalities: Super Birki White Flowers

N.B. Manolo says, because psychologists have proven what we already know, that shoes reflect the traits of those who wear them, the Manolo challenged his internet friends to say what sort of people would wear three different shoes. This shoe below is the second of three. Number 2: The Birki’s Super Birki White Flower Clogs. Your name is Joyce, and you are the grandmother of three wonderful “grandbabies”, named Tyler, Braxton, and Kody, by your daughter Linda, the stay-at-home mom/part-time beauty consultant. (Your son, the disappointing Jerry, has not yet settled down at 38, the life of the beer truck…

JUN
2012
14

Shoe Personalities: Zanotti Platform Sandals E20274

Manolo says, yesterday, the Manolo reported on the new study which revealed that which was already known, that the shoes say much about the wearers. At the end of the article, the Manolo challenged his internet friends to say what sort of person would be suitable to each of the three very different shoes. Because the Manolo’s internet friends are the smart and witty bunch, there were many good answers left in the comments section. But now, allow the Manolo to tell you exactly what sort of person wears this… Number 1: The E20274 Platform Sandal from Giuseppe Zanotti. Your…